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SamIAm's avatar

Question regarding facebook picture (see details)

Asked by SamIAm (8628 points ) June 1st, 2010

So my boyfriends ex is mad (and mostly jealous, probably because I’m nearly half her age) and told him that if I didn’t take down my Facebook pictures of THEIR children in 24 hours, she would contact FB and have them removed.

Can she do this? The children are not tagged or named, their father is though, which is why she can view the albums. They (both parents) have pictures of the boys on FB but since I’m the girlfriend and she’s just a bitch she doesn’t want me to post any.

What are her rights? Are there any? I have permission from the father – who has shared custody – to post these pictures.

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26 Answers

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Because you have permission from him, I seriously doubt there’s anything she can do about it. If Facebook chooses to get involved, however, you’ll probably have to prove that the father said it was okay.

YARNLADY's avatar

Take down the ex-boyfriends childrens’ pictures. Even if he gave you permission, the break up is equal to removing the permission.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Simply change your FB setting so only your direct friends can view your photos, no friends of friends. How can she view your pics otherwise? You can also block specific people, go on and do it, it’s fun not to be hassled.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@YARNLADY No, @Samantha_Rae‘s current boyfriend’s ex is the one who is mad. @Samantha_Rae is dating the father of the children.

chyna's avatar

@Neizvestnaya has the best idea. Just block her from your page.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

There are also privacy settings to disable anyone from finding your facebook page by googling your name or using the facebook e-mail search. I have 3 accts. that don’t exist outside of fb, keeps family appeased and out of my friends’ fun, also lets work people have fun without crossing over into more personal stuff. Oh yeah, anytime you post a picture then you can block specific people from it but I never bother because people can always view you from a friend’s acct. so it’s best to utilize that blanket feature of only allowing your direct profile friends to view anything of yours.

SamIAm's avatar

the issue with the privacy settings is that because he is tagged in the albums, his friends can view those albums… i am going to check into the settings and see if i can adjust that.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@Samantha_Rae Why doesn’t your boyfriend just remove his ex from his list, then? Or just remove his name from the tags.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@Samantha Rae
Or you could change the named tags of him to some nickname instead?

SamIAm's avatar

@DrasticDreamer : that’s a good question… to be quite honest (and kinda bitchy, just because she is the devil) if i’m not doing anything illegal by having the pictures up, i don’t mind rubbing it in her face just a little that her children like me and are a part of my life.

YARNLADY's avatar

@Samantha_Rae Sorry I misunderstood

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@Samantha_Rae

… I don’t mind rubbing it in her face just a little that her children like me and are a part of my life.”

That right there says you knew this would stir up his ex and that she’d be watching so you purposely didn’t protect your account. Sounds to me like you’re only upset she reacted differently than you anticipated. Deal.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Seems like there are enough bad feelings and hate to go around. How about you be the adult and take them down to appease her. You got the “prize” already. Right?

And don’t let me ever catch you bad mouthing the mom to her kids.

casheroo's avatar

Is this an ex wife? or ex girlfriend?

I have friends who are divorced…the new girlfriends aren’t allowed to post pictures online. Frankly, you sound immature to want to piss her off like this.

YARNLADY's avatar

So you’re the new Bimbo he traded his former for? I wouldn’t advertise it if I was you, especially at the expense of his children.

Merriment's avatar

@Samantha_Rae
Funny how the ex is reacting just like a person would react to the intent you had in posting those pictures (you admit you did it to hurt her) . She may be a devil, but she is not stupid.

Really want her kids to like you and remain a part of your life? Take the high road and don’t deliberately piss off their mother….it just makes their lives tougher in the long run

Trillian's avatar

I’m so glad that I waited and let others say it first. If you were not with this“prize” of a man, would you have any reason to want to hurt this woman? Why do you feel the need to “show her” anything? She is a part of this man’s life at least until the kids are all grown. Are you so insecure that you feel a need to get in and dig at her to show her what her place is?
Show a little more sisterly solidarity, why don’t you? A year from now you may feel a little differently about him. You may be seeing things from her perspective. There is no reason for you to be adversarial with her, and plenty of reason for you to be on speaking terms at the very least. Dating this “prize” doesn’t automatically make her the enemy.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Don’t forget she can write volumes about how you and wonder boy started sneaking around. Will you complain that her page bothers you?
Take the high road. What goes around comes around.
Start reading up on prostates now. In 10 years that will be his big concern.

rawrgrr's avatar

Facebook gives you many privacy options. Just enter her name in the album’s privacy settings so she can’t see while without blocking her.

SamIAm's avatar

whoa whoa whoaaaa… i didn’t intentionally post pictures to hurt her and i’m not even in most of them. they are from events that i have attended with the children along with many other pictures that were taken on my camera.

i have NEVER and would NEVER say anything badly about her to her children, i don’t even know the woman. I just don’t think that it’s mature of her to not accept that her ex husband has someone new in his life and he’s finally being treated the way he deserves.

Merriment's avatar

@ Samantha Rae

I have to tell you that the sum total of the comments you have made here (mostly jealous, probably because I’m nearly half her age and i don’t mind rubbing it in her face just a little and he’s finally being treated the way he deserves (you don’t know what he deserved from her you weren’t in that relationship and he may be a totally different man with you) have painted a picture of you as a young woman who mistakenly feels that she must “hate” the ex in order to love the man. That is a pretty immature viewpoint.

It is okay for your boyfriend to have an ex that he no longer wanted to be with without painting her as evil incarnate.

It is okay for you to understand that this woman may be a tad touchy about “sharing” her children with you without it being related to her jealousy that you are “younger than her”.

Few women are actually jealous of the relative youth of their ex’s new woman. At most they may be maddened that they spent their own youth with a man that apparently stopped “growing up” somewhere about the halfway mark. Hence their perfect compatibility with you..the half their age woman.

If it is a key bonding point for you and your new boyfriend to hate the ex I warn you that any behavior you see him exhibiting towards his ex, his kids or allowing from you and directed towards same is a little preview of how you may be treated someday or your children may be treated someday when the new and the youth have worn off your relationship.

Be the kind of “new girlfriend” you would want to deal with in those circumstances and you can’t go wrong.

sliceswiththings's avatar

Eek I am wary of children’s pictures being posted on the internet. Sorry, but I think it is only appropriate for the children’s parents’ to put pictures online. The internet is a dangerous place, and it’s safest for children to not be on it at all. Since children’s parents make decisions for them that they can’t yet make for themselves, their parents should be the ones deciding if and what images of them appear online. As you are simply dating these kids’ dad, I don’t think you’re entitled to post pictures of them.

Sorry that this is not an answer that helps you deal with “the bitch,” but I think the ex’s request is completely reasonable.

And since when does protecting one’s children earn them the title of bitch?

netgrrl's avatar

All you’re likely accomplishing is making life more difficult for the children.

jonsblond's avatar

I would show some class and get permission from both parents if I decided to post pictures of children that weren’t mine.

@sliceswiththings great answer!

perspicacious's avatar

@jonsblond You can’t show it if you don’t have it.

ShanEnri's avatar

@Samantha_Rae I just have one point to make! Try to see things from her point of view! If the roles were switched would you want her posting pics of your kids? I have to say honestly, it would piss me off too, if I were in her position!

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