Social Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Would you think guys using a womans need to survive as unethical?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (22108 points ) July 23rd, 2010

If there was a very attractive and young female homeless gal (maybe a runaway years before) who lived in or near your neighborhood and it was well known for a little bit of food (even as little as a value menu hamburger) she can be had for any type of sex asked, what would you think of guys who would take her up on it with cheap food like a single burrito, kid’s sized burger, cup of yogurt etc? What would you do if she refused a decent meal (for free, no favors asked) out of pride to not seem like a down and out person in need of rescue and feel she has to give something in order not to be a charity case?

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21 Answers

NaturallyMe's avatar

That would just seem wrong, and i think it would be unethical, no matter how difficult the situation is (her not wanting to accept free food/money)....but i’d have absolutely no respect for a man who takes advantage of this situation to get any sort of gross perverted sex act done with him in exchange for a pathetic meal. One could rather offer her a real job like cleaning your yard or whatever you would be willing to have her do for you.

anartist's avatar

This is so painfully sad if you really know someone in this situation.

If you want to offer her something to eat and don’t want her to feel it is charity, maybe you could ask her to do something she can do that is not sexual like do your laundry or type some letters or walk your dog or something else something that wouldn’t make her feel bad and slowly build a relationship so you can help her.

truecomedian's avatar

How fucked some peoples life’s are.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Sad…
What if she simply preferred to have sex right there rather than “do your laundry or type some letters or walk your dog”? The sex is quicker and easier.

Life can sure be tough.

Cruiser's avatar

If she would rather sleep with someone for food than get a job and earn a paycheck to buy a meal…who am I to judge her or the man who is willing to offer her a bite to eat in exchange for a quickie or whatever. It’s called barter and nothing unethical about that. It may ruffle a few moral or “ethical” feathers for some, but to each his own I say.

jerv's avatar

Welcome to 21st century America.

The poor are normally considered lazy. The unemployed are accused of getting handouts. Here you have somebody who is embodying the Conservative ethic that you have to earn everything you get, so she should be applauded for her work ethic.

@Cruiser Get what job?

stardust's avatar

This is so sad. It pains me to think that people take advantage of fellow people like this. I agree with @anartist & @worriedguy.

Cruiser's avatar

@jerv Point taken, at least she is not taking extended unemployment benefits.

CMaz's avatar

Ok true story time…

When I lived in Manhattan. MANY years ago and going to school.

Me and my two friends were bar hopping and were a bit toasted.
A homeless women saw how silly we were and commented on our “fun” behavior. We said come hang out with us.
She said ok. We went back to my friends apartment, had some more drinks.
By the way… She was not that bad looking, around 30ish.

It was a rainy night and we offered her a place to sleep, take a shower and have something to eat.
There was no discussion of sex. But she did let us watch her shower. Did not thrill me much. Her body scared up from multiple puncture wounds.
She had survived many a stabbing.
Then she went into the spare room to sleep and with few words had no problem with any of us coming in her room.
My one friend had sex with her, the other took nude picture of her. Would not admit to doing anything else, I believe he did do more.

I went in and talked to her. Seriously. Asked her about herself and what got her to where she was. It was a sad story. :-(

Then I let her sleep.

She woke up and was heading out. I was heading home and offered to walk with her. I find people interesting.
There came a point where we had to go our separate ways.
I will never forget this person. It was raining, it was evening, New York has that yellowish hue to it. I looked back. Seeing her in the doorway, seeing that loss of life really affected me.

I looked away then looked back again. She was gone. Like she was never there.

To answer the question. If anything, it is a selfish act. Even if the person says, I will fuck you for food. Just give them food. Save the sex for another time and person.

If that person was “crazy” enough to not take the food unless returning the favor. I think there are plenty of things you can have them do, then stealing what little dignity they might still have.

Trillian's avatar

@ChazMaz I love you.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@ChazMaz Bless you. My late wife and I did volunteer work for women in her circumstances. Your behavior was rare and noble. This world needs a few million more like you.

(Sorry to be anal-retentive; paragraph 5: “scarred” rather than “scared” is what you mean, I assume)

wilma's avatar

@Trillian I love Chaz too.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t know how it can be understood as anything but.

lapilofu's avatar

I wouldn’t be so quick as some to judge guys in this situation. From the situation you described, it sounds like things are tough, but not like anyone is being coerced into anything against their will—especially if you add the latter condition of her refusing charity meals. Consenting adults are free to do what they will with their sexuality, including bartering it for goods—and it’s not a crime (oh, wait) immoral for someone to complete that trade. No one is responsible for projecting someone else’s consent or non-consent. If they tell you they’re consenting, you should take them at their word.

Though I would say she should charge more.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@ChazMaz Yes you are a stand up guy. I hope your buddies double bagged it, if she has multiple puncture wound scars who knows if any were from needles which might have been shared. All nookey ain’t good nookey.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

For most people then the bargaining with their bodies is a last resort so I would hope a man would refuse if the homeless woman offered in order to show respect for dignity and personal space boundaries left or that once were. I also can see where a homeless woman might be very lonely and enjoy the opportunity to not only have something to eat but to open up and share with someone she felt safe with, if only temporarily. I say to leave the ball in the court of the neediest person with the least amount of power.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

@ChazMaz….You had me at “I went in to talk to her. Seriously.”

i love you too

Thanks for sharing that.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

The circumstances under which I met my late wife were somewhat similar to that which @ChazMaz described. Thank goodness she wasn’t quite that desperate, but her situation was very bad and she was in great physical danger. People can turn their lives around if given a chance; eight years after we met, she was a practicing psychologist helping others in the same situation she had been in. The shelter she once stayed at is now named after her.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land….......That’s an amazing story. Thank you for that.

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