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Frenchfry's avatar

Did you live up to your parents expectations?

Asked by Frenchfry (7554 points ) July 26th, 2010

I think I didn’t.

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40 Answers

lillycoyote's avatar

No, I didn’t.

NaturallyMe's avatar

I don’t think so. I got a law degree but decided not to practice it because i hated it and it was not the line of work i could be happy doing. They still hope that i’d take it up sometime.

jesienne's avatar

Parents can never have too many expectations.

Rewgreen's avatar

My parents were raised in an age, where a man’s role in the family was to work hard in order to put food on the table. Work was plentiful and so education was never really too important. Both my parents seemed to be constantly working throughout my childhood, their leisure time was always limited, and they never used to see beyond their own little sphere.
Unfortunately, their expectations for their children’s future were subsequently never too high and well within our ability. I wish they had expected more of me as a child and had encouraged me to be more ambitious as well as placing much more importance in my schooling. I lived up to my parent’s expectations without too much effort, but their world view has since changed and they now realise that there is a whole world open to their grandchildren, not just the humdrum menial work that I am now stuck in.

Cruiser's avatar

Yes, they still tell me I exceed them.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

No. Didn’t become a university professor (Mothers expectation) or reach flag rank before retiring (Fathers expectation, the family had a three-generation streak going). I’ve exceeded my own expectations though, which is more important.

Austinlad's avatar

To the best of my memory, my parents never articulated any particular expectation for me other than wanting me to go to college, do whatever work I liked, and marry a woman who would make me happy. Sounds corny, I guess, but I was very fortunate to have had those kind of parents.

silky1's avatar

I wish that I had, but now I’m still trying.

NaturallyMe's avatar

@Austinlad That’s not corny at all! More parently should lay low like that when it comes to expectations from children – afterall, is the most important thing not for them to be happy, irrespective of the fact that they’re doing something for a living that you didn’t wish for them to do? :)

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@Austinlad I wish mine had been more like yours.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

No, unfortunately I have disappointed them quite a lot.

9doomedtodie's avatar

No.My parents never compelled me to go for any course they wanted. When i completed 12th standard.I hadn’t known which course i have to do.then, I did engineering(because i got the admission easily) ,Civil engineering,I completed it. Then,I realized why did i do this? When i joined first company joined as a trainee.In one day,I left that job,i was still confused(I am ).I thought i should go in IT industry,I did Software testing course & got a job in software company.I am doing the same job i.e.working as a QA .but now i realize, i should have chosen courses related to music or photography(I wanted to be a guitarist).Now it’s impossible to do that without losing this job…I’m just going with life.

I could not do whatever i wanted to do. ;(

NaturallyMe's avatar

@blinkErri – there’s no way to pursue photography part time while keeping this job of yours for now?

Seek's avatar

The problem is I didn’t live down to their expectations.

If it were up to them, I’d still be a social recluse living in their house, working some minimum wage job and handing them the paycheck, then coming home and doing all their housework.

Frankly, servitude got old really quickly.

9doomedtodie's avatar

@NaturallyMe :Yes i could do.but fees are not affordable to me now & I don’t want to take any aid from my parents.I wish i could join weekend batch but such batches are not available.

NaturallyMe's avatar

@blinkErri – oh….. :/ Well, don’t give up, just keep your goal in mind and some day you will be able to get them. I studied law and half way through i realized that i was not interested in it, but had to finish it because quitting was not an option for my parents. I didn’t get complacent with my situation…i always knew that something had to and will change for me, and it did, even though i didn’t know at the time what it would be. I didn’t practice law for maybe more than 2 years, then other opportunities came up for me. So just keep looking and wanting that change until it happens. :)

9doomedtodie's avatar

@NaturallyMe :Thanks for suggestions! You are right. Nothing is impossible,because the word impossible itself explains I M possible.!I should never give up till the goal is complete!.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

No, but I think that’s more because they were hoping my existence would bring them some sort of complete fulfillment and enlightenment, when in reality it can only come from within. I imagine that my not going to the college they wanted, dating whom they wanted, etc. is very low down on the list of actual disappointments (as opposed to disappointments they’ve realized on a conscious, tangible level).

Seaofclouds's avatar

My mom says I have done well and she is proud of me. So, for her, I have went beyond her expectations. My dad, on the other hand, is never happy with what I do, but I really don’t care what he thinks.

gailcalled's avatar

My father had no intellectual or professional expectations of his daughters. My mother’s were that we look like trophy women all the time, find a sugar daddy to marry, use clear enunciation and move like a dancer.

My sis and I let both of them down. My bro got his PhD (on the correct coast and next to the correct ocean) and became a college professor, but he settled and worked on the wrong coast and next to the wrong ocean.

My psychiatrist said that we were dream children.

Allie's avatar

My mom just really wanted me to go to college. As of June 12, I’m the first college graduate in my immediate family. Other than that, she just wants me to do what makes me happy and stay out of trouble. Eventually, I want to be a college professor, so now she’s pushing me to continue with grad school as soon as possible. I’m not sure I want to go to grad school just yet. If I don’t do it now, she knows it’s not the end of the world. She just doesn’t want me to give up on what I want to do.
So, yes, I think I’ve met her expectations.

CMaz's avatar

They think so.

I don’t.

tinyfaery's avatar

My parents never gave me even an inkling as to any expectations they might have had for me. I’m pretty sure that they expected me to marry a man, though. Oh, well.

wundayatta's avatar

My parents claimed they had no expectations. Anything we did was fine with them.

That was such a lie. They probably don’t even know it. My wife is fond of telling the story about the time when my father was talking about his kids. He said he was proud of my sister. He said he was proud of my brother. My wife was waiting for him to talk about me, but no. Nothing.

He’s never said I’ve met his expectations or that he was proud of me. I worked my ass off as a child, but he never had one word of praise.

At this point, it doesn’t matter any more. I’m sure they were doing the best they knew how. The idea that I’m no good and worthless has been burned in deep.

However, those are just ideas in my head. Any expectation I think anyone else has of me is just an idea. I don’t have to pay much attention to them. It’s my life to live as I see fit.

YARNLADY's avatar

Yes, they eventually became very happy with me and my life. I am the only one of three that has been the kind of success they wanted.

KTWBE's avatar

I’m one of four children, and I can safely say that all four of us children has lived up to our parents’ expectations. My parents both had fairly unusual lives as traveling musicians with flighty or empty love lives until they met each other. Their only desire upon having children was that their kids grew up safe and happy, had rewarding relationships, and did what made their lives feel full. Three of us are in strong marriages (the fourth is too young), and all of us have assumed or are actively pursuing careers in industries that fill us with joy. Mom and Dad have been 100% supportive throughout all of these years. My brother even became a traveling musician, and they still support him. :) Realistically, your parents’ expectation should be that you do what makes you happy, and that you love them.

gailcalled's avatar

@KTWBE: You are one of the lucky children; not all of us were and are.

naconasong's avatar

Heaven’s to betsy no way I am not rich enough for them, but they still love me! I am a good person and I always followed the rules so they liked that and I am very respectful and the love that. So all in all I think they are proud of me

BoBo1946's avatar

@naconasong “Heaven’s to Betsy” been a longtime since I heard that one! From reading your answer, i think they are very proud of you!

Dutchess_III's avatar

They had no expectations. I got little to no guidance or advice, then they both pretty much abandoned us when I was 20, sisters 16 and 15. Mom did physically (She assumed we’d be moving 2000 miles away where she fled to be with family after the divorce, but it didn’t happen. She was distressed, but really, I think that wasn’t a fair expectation on her part) and Dad did emotionally.

BoBo1946's avatar

I really don’t know the answer to that one. Probably yes, but not positive!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Not at all. They expected I would go to college, get advanced degrees in the arts, become a writer or teacher and marry from my grade school chums probably gone on to be a rocket scientist for JPL or civil suits attorney.

I look to my sister now to fulfill them because she does have the advanced degrees in the arts and is not only a writer but also a teacher. All she needs to seal the deal now is marry a nice, smart and upwardly mobile Jewish guy who isn’t religiously observing and wants to build a guest house for mom in their backyard.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Neizvestnaya Maybe she’ll screw it all up by marrying a Baptist!!!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@Dutchess_III
Oh no, it’s not allowed!

perspicacious's avatar

In some ways, yes. In other ways she is finally accepting that we are very different.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Neizvestnaya O Mercy! I’m so through all of that! You just go, girl! You just keep doing what’s right for you…just make sure it’s “right.” I’m kind of at the point now where I’m thinking “Maybe I should have chased The Money….instead of The Right Thing To Do…..I guess only time will tell”

aprilsimnel's avatar

No, I didn’t, but those were outrageous to begin with.

Bellatrix's avatar

I exceeded them. I don’t think they expected much truthfully.

vs1983's avatar

what are your expectation for his/her future

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