Social Question

Auntie_Em's avatar

What's your best one liner I can use to knock the socks off my inlaws' feet at a family gathering?

Asked by Auntie_Em (186points) July 27th, 2010

My husband’s family is very loud and very funny. It’s hard to contribute anything worthwhile in the conversation because most of what comes out of my mouth is pale in comparison to their sharp, sharp conversations. Can you give me a good one liner I can keep in my hip pocket to pull out at the next family function? No conditions, no parameters. Just whatever you’ve got that’s short and sharp. Oh, and sarcasm is fine. As long as it’s not too mean or rude.

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18 Answers

Blackberry's avatar

It’s hard to pull out a random example, we would need context, or you would just be saying random things that would not make any sense. You have to think of witty things to say that are relevant the next time you are with them, and say them loud. What do they talk about?

le_inferno's avatar

“That’s what she said!!!”... Everyone will think you are very original and clever and smart. Trust me.

Austinlad's avatar

I agree with @blackberry, but maybe you could work up a selection of lines that started with teasers like, “The last time I saw a group together like this it was (you fill in the blank)” or
“I haven’t heard humor like this since…” or
“You know what they say about in-laws (look up some good in-law jokes)

And here’s a link you might peruse for inspiration. http://www.google.com/search?q=one-liners&sourceid=ie7&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&ie=&oe=&rlz=1I7ADFA_en

whitenoise's avatar

It is a little known fact that the average airspeed of an unladen swallow is roughly 11 meters per second, or 24 miles per hour, even though it cannot carry a one pound coconut.

(Thank you wiki.answers.com)

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t have a one liner off the top of my head, I actually can’t wait to see some on this Q, but I would recommend reading up on topics they are interested in, and comedy they watch. So when a topic comes up you can participate better in the conversation, and maybe recall a funny moment that relates. Also, have a few very funny stories about your husband prepared.

When you arrive come in telling them how fantastic they look, how thrilled you are to see them, stuff like that.

BoBo1946's avatar

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, “I’m so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.”

The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that my dear,” she asked.

The little boy replied, “I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the fucking walls if you came to visit us again.”

InkyAnn's avatar

I don’t know if this is what your looking for but it’s what my brother-in-law said to my father the first time he met him which was on their wedding day (and keep in mind this is about my sister) he said ”nice to meet your sir, I hope you know the better half of your daughter was swallowed and she should have been a stain on the bed

ItsAHabit's avatar

You could ask your father-in-law if his thing is as small as his son’s.

Afos22's avatar

@whitenoise That’s hilarious

rebbel's avatar

Slightly changed this from an other contribution i made on another thread:
“I am just glad that you were able to make children and i can now marry your lovely daughter/son…, my first in-laws couldn’t conceive.”

tranquilsea's avatar

I can’t come up with anything because context is very important to me. I’m usually very good with quips as I come from a family of six kids and you had to be fast if you wanted to be heard.

Recently at a community centre meeting the President advised us about a city programme that picked the the tweens and teens up and took them to various programmes in the city. I couldn’t help myself. I responded, “Do they bring them back?”

filmfann's avatar

“Pull my finger”

MaryW's avatar

I would not worry at all about trying to one-up someone or throw a zinger at the gatherings. You will be very appreciated I am sure as an audience to the shenanigans. I do believe you will see an opening as you get to know them and suprise them with one when you all least expect it.

Rufus_T_Firefly's avatar

The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.

Only dead fish go with the flow.

True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.

AmWiser's avatar

‘My husband’s family is very loud and very funny’.... That’s great. Just be the audience. Sit there and let them wonder what’s on your mind.

le_inferno's avatar

@AmWiser brings up a good point. Don’t try too hard to emulate them, it might be a transparent effort. You don’t wanna be the “try-hard”, “wannabe” etc. Sit back and enjoy them :) I feel similar around my uncles. They’re hilarious, and it’s hard to keep up. But every once in a while I drop a great/comment or joke that gets ‘em laughing. It’ll come to you at the right time! it can’t be thought out in advance.

happy123's avatar

try to be yourself dont try to fit in by being funny. just be the audience and show that your enjoying and that you can have a sense of humor sometimes.

snowberry's avatar

At the appropriate time say “You’re just jealous because you’re prettier than me!”

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