What do you consider an appropriate amount of money to spend on a wedding gift?

Whatever the amount is – write a check. No-one wants a gift, imho. I’d say it should be whatever an expensive meal in a restaurant would cost, plus a little extra – plus whatever you can afford. They’re starting out – and a wedding is a huge expense.

Price shouldn’t represent the value of a gift. As long as you give something meaningful & with purpose – it will be a great gift. Give them something they need & not want. Even if it is a $30 gift, if it is something they need & will use everyday, then it is the best gift.

For me, it depends on how well I know the bride and groom. I’ve always given money and a card. I’ve only been to a few weddings since becoming an adult, so I really can’t give a good idea of what I’ve given (most of the weddings I’ve been to have been family).

It seems to be very different among different ethnic gorups and different socio-economic groups. I have heard that many people give $100 if they are single and $150–200 for a couple but it does really vary. If you can, it is better to be over-generous than under; I have sometimes underestimated and then later felt ashamed.

I don’t agree about a check. It’s impersonal, and it reveals the amount of money you have to spend. My rule is to spend no more than I can comfortably afford—you do not have to try to keep up with the Joneses. And… the bride and groom can always exchange the gift.

It depends on the financial means of the person offering the gift. $500 from an obscenely rich person might be modest compared to $36.00 (double chai) from me.

$100

Typically I give $100. If I have given a shower gift I might lower it to $75. If it is someone I barely know, it might be as low as $50 if I feel I should give a gift, depending on the situation. The $50 would usually be in the form of a gift from the registry, while the $100 or more would be a check. I prefer to give money at weddings. If it is someone in my family or a very close friend it could easily $200—$250. But, I have a small family, so I don’t have to give out those higher amounts very often.

Having said all of that, it does not matter if you give nothing if you cannot afford anything. You give what you are able. You should never put yourself in a financial bind to give a gift.

You give as much as you feel comfortable and can afford giving.

My family gives 250 dollars per person that attends a wedding. When attending a distant cousin’s wedding with my mother and I, my grandma gave 750 dollars.

When we don’t attend weddings, we give a fifty dollar announcement gift, a shower gift from registry, and anywhere from two hundred to three hundred dollars as a wedding gift.

I think it’s an Italian thing. ‘Cuz we’re not wealthy.

Do they have a registry? Whatever you get them from that is fine.

It depends on the how ritzy the wedding shindig is. You can also check their wedding registry. If they have one.

@janbb is right it’s an ethnic thing. You can tell just from this thread who the Jews and Italians are, if we had one we could throw in a Greek Orthodox, all the same basically when it comes to a wedding. Although @iWitch takes the prize for giving money at a wedding I think.

I recently went to a wedding of someone I don’t know. It was the daugher of a coworker of my husband. I was surprised we were invited. When I went to Macy’s to see her registry I asked about the shipping charges. The sales girl said I should bring the gift with me. Not where I come from. Why burden the family with having to haul a bunch of gifts from the reception to their home? I guess in some circles this is normal. I also don’t get buying off of the registry. Buy them what they want. Giving cash lets them save up for what they want or finish buying a set that was incomplete from the registry gifts.

I think it depends on how wealthy you are. The bride and groom should realize that $50 to an average person is the same as $200 to a well off person

Do you think it makes a difference if you are traveling far to attend the wedding? I sometimes have to spend as much as $750 for flight, hotels, etc to attend friend’s weddings. I wonder if people take this into account – there was one year where attending weddings ended up being the single biggest part of my budget after rent and food.

I am not asking this because I think my friends might criticize the amount I give – in my case I am fairly confident that the amount I have been spending is appropriate – I am just curious as to how others think about this and what is considered “normal” in your community. I don’t think the bride and groom actually care that much about how much each guest spent (at least, my friends don’t) but I am curious about whether there are social norms or any kind of ettiquette rules for how much to spend.

Depends entirely on how well you know the happy couple. My best friends of 10 years are getting a hell of a lot more than my 2nd cousin thrice removed that I met at that family reunion once 10 years ago.

@occ Yes. I think it matters how far you travel and how much it costs you to get there. For me, your presence would matter to me more than how much you spent on my gift.

No matter if it’s for a friend or family, don’t spend more than you can afford. I like giving practical gifts. Everybody can use nice towels or kitchen utensils. If I know of something the couple wants I will try to get it.

Holy cow, some of you guys come from a different socio-economic background than I do. Depending on how well I know the person, I usually spend from $50 to $100 dollars (and the $100 is for family).

Yeah, I’m definitely with you on this one @syz…

We usually pick something that they have registered for, for both a show gift and a wedding gift. I usually spend $50 for a shower present, and $75 – $100 for the wedding.

It depends on how much I have already spent on them. If getting to the wedding is a financial burden, the gift will be around $50, but if the wedding is near by, I would go as high as $200.

Aaaah…this question is stressing me out, I periodically remember I have a 22 years old daughter in love for a year now….OMG….I’m not ready to pay for a wedding! lol

@Coloma Maybe you’ll be lucky and they’ll come home and say “Look Mom/Dad, we got married yesterday.”

@YARNLADY

Bless you for that! lol

I think that we haven’t taken into consideration that a) as @janbb said, there are different socio-economic and ethnic group customs, and b) what others have said that it depends on how well you know them, and how much one can afford, however, c) the majority are quoting a figure in dollars, usually around $100, as if everyone here is from the States.

I, for one, am not. I am curious as to how much jellies from around the world spend on a gift, and why they spend x amount. Or maybe they have another ritual/custom pertaining to a gift? I know we have jellies from Europe and Britain, Australia and New Zealand, Iceland and Denmark and even Indonesia (Sorry if I forgot a country) not to mention Canada. @Dr_Lawrence I also like to give in chai increments of 18.)

Yikes! All I could afford is a $20 gift. I like @Rarebear‘s answer.

I was married 18 years ago and I honestly can’t remember everything we received. Some of our friends just brought us a card, some family members spent quite a bit on gifts. If I were married today, I wouldn’t care. I would just want the people I care about to spend the day with us.

@jonsblond In a perfect world; it’s the presence, not the presents.

I agree @jonsblond I would not care or notice if I did not get a gift from someone, especially if they are tight on funds. I would not want them to spend money. I did not even pick dresses for my bridesmaids, because my husband and I thought it odd to require someone to spend money on a dress I pick out or them.

In my circle of friends and family then $100. is a decent amount for each person to give in cash if they choose not to buy a gift from a registry list.

For me it depends on financial circumstances at the time, I’m not going to put myself into a financially stressful situation… one of my oldest and dearest friends married for the second time recently and I bought her and her new husband a gorgeous book about tea, they are both tea lovers, it was full of photographs and anecdotes about tea and cost me about $30, I felt it was just perfect for the people concerned and inexpensive, a highly important consideration at that time.

It totally depends on the level of closeness associated with the party in question. depending on my financial condition i guess one should prefer a nominal amount of money(written as a check) if the party is a distant friend. But i would prefer an gift rather than a check if it is my close buddy or family. I guess in this situations money shouldn’t matter.

How much I spend varies (based on closeness and financial situation), but what I spend it on doesn’t. Years ago, our best man gave us the perfect gift (at my first wedding), and I promptly adopted his idea: A ‘honeymoon basket’. Fill a basket with non-perishable snacks (don’t forget a dessert!), a couple of cloth napkins, a bottle of champagne or wine, a corkscrew, and two wine/champagne glasses. Make sure it makes it into the car the couple will be leaving in. Depending on the products I choose, this costs me anywhere between $30 and $100.00. No matter how much or how little I spend, it always looks nice, is the only gift of its kind the couple receives, and has been universally appreciated.

I’m making a rough estimate, but i’d say around here it’s about R250 (ie about $33US). This is just looking at what we got for our wedding. Quite a few were more than this, but a couple were lower as well. Someone that i know also got married a couple of months after me, and she registered at a gift registry, and the cheapest gifts that she had chosen there was around $80US, which is WAY too much and is really inconsiderate expecting your guests to pay that kind of money for your gift. This no doubt has something to do with the fact that she married a wealthy guy though, because she did not come from a wealthy family.
I don’t think there is such a thing as an appropriate amount to spend on wedding gifts. You give what you can afford, period. And what you are willing to give them considering how close you are to them. And why should a wedding gift have to be something huge? I don’t think so.
Also, the value of the money where i live seems to be somewhat different than in the US, because spending $100 on a wedding gift here is huge. So that kind of makes my opinion invalid here i guess.

I was taught the gift should cover the cost of you attending the wedding plus 20%. So if the wedding/reception is in a hotel your gift would be$100.00 + $20.00. If the wedding/reception is in a backyard $50.00 + $10.00

@mollydrew… definitely too formulaic for me.