Social Question

Disc2021's avatar

When is the last time someone walked right in, stood up straight, looked you in the eyes and apologized from the deep depths of the heart?

Asked by Disc2021 (4483 points ) August 20th, 2010

Like, completely swallowed their pride and said “Look, I am very sorry about what I’ve said/done/how I behaved” etc. I honestly can’t remember the last time I’ve received a full heart apology. You usually either get a list of exaggerated (and often unrelated) excuses, the blame is pushed onto someone else (or even yourself) or the person will just completely tune out and back away. Or you’ll get a “Well sorry, but… ” followed by more excuses or any of the previously mentioned items. Just curious on what you guys think.

What’s the big deal? We’re human, we make mistakes, why can’t we own up and atone to them? When I do something to somehow hurt/wrong someone, unless I was aggressively provoked, I feel obligated to apologize and ‘right’ or correct my wrongdoing. Thoughts?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

13 Answers

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I don’t know, it seems like a foreign concept~
Most of the time apologies are a code for, leave me alone now, okay? or okay-okay, I give up. let’s try to focus on something else.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Last week.
My apologies are always sincere.I want to make sure the other knows that I truly am sorry and understand the pain I have caused them.

muppetish's avatar

Nobody has apologized to me in such a sincere and heartfelt manner. I wish they had.

KhiaKarma's avatar

yeah, so what’s for dinner?

It sometimes just takes time to let the idea that you may be wrong sink in, I think. The most intimate monents that I have with my husband are after the fire of the anger dies down and we talk about it the next day- if it’s a big deal. The little things slide….

perspicacious's avatar

It’s been quite a while, but then, no one has wronged me in quite a while either.

SeventhSense's avatar

I eventually will. I will inevitably screw up though and at one point you’re almost tired of apologizing and sometimes those closest don’t even want or need to hear it. You just move on and sigh.

cookieman's avatar

Probably the tenth of never. I honestly can’t remember a single time in almost forty years.

Assuming someone bothers to apologize at all, the words spoken either sound insincere and rushed or include a qualifier (“I’m sorry, but…”).

Then there’s the apologies you have to ask for (“You could apologize ya know.”) which always come out sheepish and weak.

My favorite is the annoyed apology where the words are not only spoken begrudgingly, but hostily, as if you’re the problem (“Look! I’m so-rry. Now, leave me the fuck alone!!”)

In all of these cases, I always make a point of saying, “That’s not an apology” – which, admittedly, escalates the disagreement – but this is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Personally I try really hard not to do these things but I know I have. My wife is good at holding my feet to the fire, as it were (thankfully).

great question

Brenna_o's avatar

Never :(

daytonamisticrip's avatar

I have never gotten an apology like that, and i never expect one.
I my self have done many things wrong, owned up, and apologized. There was one instance where i messed up badly. I apologized straight from the heart.
One more thing i don’t apologize unless I’m truly sorry. That would turn me into a liar.

iphigeneia's avatar

Never, but no one’s ever done anything to me that would warrant a big and serious apology.

SeventhSense's avatar

I’ve had this happen to me more than once but I’ve also done it. Maybe they go hand in hand.

Aster's avatar

Never!

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther