Social Question

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

If you had a friend that spoke to you in the way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?

Asked by ANef_is_Enuf (23285 points ) August 21st, 2010

I just found this question on an image online, and I thought it was really brilliant.

It also made me realise how guilty I am of negative self talk. What about you? Are you generally a good person to yourself?

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21 Answers

ducky_dnl's avatar

I’m guilty of being negative towards myself. I doubt the friendship would last a month.

Great question for you.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I’m pretty sure I would beat the crap out of someone that talked to me the way that I talk to myself.

Eye opening.

truecomedian's avatar

I do beat the crap out of me, I do, sometimes yes, and sometimes no.

Austinlad's avatar

If he talked to me in my supportive, you-can-do-it voice all or even most of the time, I’d befriend him for life. In fact, that’s what I’ve been trying to do since I discovered long ago what a lousy friend my other voice is.

ShanEnri's avatar

I am hard on myself, but I’m also honest. Now if they were just being brutally honest, It would hurt, but I’d appreciate the honesty. However, if they were just negative all the time, then no we wouldn’t be friends for long! Great question!!!

Tuesdays_Child's avatar

I actually have a friend who backs up the way that I speak to my self in my head.Sometimes it’s irritating but there is never a question about where I stand with that person which is a nice thing. Incidentally, this friend is a keeper. The quality of honesty is high on my list of importance, oh yeah, there is also the teensy little fact that I am married to my friend! ;~P

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I’d be just fine!
Why kick your own ass?That’s best saved for family & loved ones XD

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille I suppose that was the revelation. I really desperately need to work on my self talk, it is absolutely vile the way I speak to myself in my own head. I wouldn’t dare listen to it from someone else… so I guess it came as quite a surprise when I thought about why I do it to myself.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@TheOnlyNeffie -You need to cut it out,Neffie! Life is too short!
here’s my mother-in-law…kick her ass XD

Odysseus's avatar

They would be my best friends.
I big myself up generally except from when I make mistakes then I really in no uncertain terms tell myself to get my shit together.
‘Treat others as you yourself would like to be treated’ also works as ‘treat yourself as you would like others to treat you’ here :)

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

My relationship with them would be one of cautious respect. I beat myself up only when I truly deserve it, and almost never talk myself up. I repeat my ideals in my head, but rarely pass judgements as to how well I have followed them. The future is more important than the past in this respect, since I used to be prone to over-analysing my actions to the point where I would miss new opportunities.

iphigeneia's avatar

It wouldn’t last long, I don’t think I could take the constant chatter. And I would hate them for always being right.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

We’d be good, they’d back me up on calling me on my own shite :)

Frenchfry's avatar

We would not be friends very long. I need positives not negatives to counter act.

aprilsimnel's avatar

After I slapped her? OUT! s/he’d go. I’ve kicked real people out of my life for less, come to think of it.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I have a few people that speak to me the same way I speak to myself. They are tough on me when I need it, but also supporting and encouraging when I need. They are my closest friends and I am happy to have them in my life.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

This is a very eye opening question. Thank you.

If people spoke to me in the way I use self-loathing, I would kick them to the curb instantly. Still, I have a supportive way of talking to myself, too. 20 years of therapy is good for something, after all.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I would be hurt and wouldn’t stay their friend.

CaptainHarley's avatar

Since I’ve become very comfortable in my own skin over the years, people who talk to me the way I talk to myself are my best friends. I also married one of them. : D

Mom2BDec2010's avatar

I am guilty of negative self talk also. And I wouldn’t be friends with someone who talked to me like that, I would feel totally disrespected.

Nially_Bob's avatar

I typically start laughing when I realised i’m being too self-critical so ‘my friend’ and I would likely just mock one another in jest constantly which i’m happy with. I think we’d be friends for a significant period of time.

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