I was digitally grounded about four years ago, and oh man it was horrible, I felt disconnected, out of the loop and generally made me very moody, for the first work I resented my mother. However when my term ended, I didn’t put a foot wrong. Now i’m not saying I was perfect, I truly was not however I didn’t lie to my mother ever again, we maintain a very close relationship, the perfect balance of parent and friend is what she is to me, I feel today digital grounding is a very effective discipline, not only as people will appreciate what they have done to get that grounding, but I found time to read, to study and actually enjoy it, spend time with grandparents and would offer to help with food shops, housekeeping and looking after my younger sister. Safe to say i’m happy I was digitally grounded.
Ha, my brother was digitally grounded, actually. Mom took away his phone, iPod, etc. and whatever else he had. Personally, I think he should’ve gotten more time in the “no electronics corner”, but hey, I’m not the parent. He found other things to do with his time, however, like reading or going outside and whatever.
Oh yes, all the time. My kids aren’t old enough for Facebook or cell phones, but they lose computer time, Wii, and the Nintendo DS. They think I’m horribly mean, because if they lose electronic entertainment for, say, three days, I just add days on whenever they act up again. Three days without the DS or Wii can turn into a week if they aren’t careful. What I take away depends on the kid, because the youngest doesn’t have a DS but loves the Wii. The older two aren’t as big on the Wii, but also like to play computer games.
It works, because now that they know I’m serious I usually just have to remind them or give them a warning and they shape up. When they do lose those things, they spend a couple of hours complaining about being bored, then quickly find other things to do.
Edit: I know this is ridiculously long, but once I started typing, I realized I needed to get some things off my chest. I’m not even sure if it makes sense with the question, but it was a needed rant. Sorry.
I got “digitally grounded” my Freshman year of high school. For 10 months.
My dad discovered I had a few albums mid-download and immediately cut the internet to my room. They went through my computer and discovered that I had a Myspace lolrememberthose? and didn’t approve of one of the pictures, so they made me shut it down.
They then went through my email addresses and pretty much read everything. They didn’t approve of some of those conversations, and once again, made me shut down both accounts.
They took my CPU but left me the monitor and my laptop. They took away my radio. They took away my cell phone. They forbid me to use the house phone. At this time, I wasn’t allowed to send letters or receive letters without them being pre-read by my mom.
I didn’t get any of those things back until the middle of the next summer. Which was HELL considering I’m a pretty social person. I couldn’t do anything for that year. I couldn’t go anywhere or talk to anyone. I came home from school and slept all afternoon. I never left my room and pretty much still don’t except for the bathroom and food breaks.
My best friend would come over at about 2am and sneak me letters in so he could still talk to me outside of the few minutes we got to see each other at school.
The entire thing happened again in the spring of my sophomore year.
I had been grounded for making a Facebook ohnoez! for about three months. I still got to keep my email which I checked constantly during school which helped a lot.
I still didn’t have communication with anyone except during school hours, which really made me depressed considering my best friend had graduated the year before.
Then one day, I was at my aunt’s house and since I wasn’t around my parents, I was online talking to some people. The first thing they said was “Hey.. are you doing okay? I heard what happened.” and “I’m so sorry”. Now.. this really really confused me. I had no contact with the world, so I didn’t know anything happened.
After asking a few people what was going on, I was told that my best friend Matt had killed himself two days earlier.
I flipped out. I ran from my aunt’s house to my grandmother’s and started screaming at my mom. I pretty much stole her purse and ran back to my aunt’s house with it so I could get my cell phone.
After listening to messages I had on there, I realized that Matt had tried to call me the night he died, but because I had been grounded for so long, he had no way of talking to me.
He had some relationship issues, and being very sensitive, he couldn’t handle some things that happened. I listened to those messages on repeat for about two hours before my mom came storming in the room demanding that I give her everything back.
Nothing inside of me said Hey, calm the hell down. It’s not her fault.. but everything DID say It’s her fault you had no contact. so I flipped out on her again. I physically attacked my mother that day. I’m not too proud of it, but I was angry and confused and the most depressed I’ve ever been.
Since then, I’ve never had technology taken away from me. Between work and the ranch and my sister’s health issues, cell phones have become a staple in our lives.
The internet is needed for most of my college classwork, so that can’t be taken away from me..
So the moral of my story is: Digitally grounding kids for extreme periods of time isn’t very effective.
I took the computer away from my daughter when she was in high school. She was living on the thing – lying about when she was on it (note: parents CAN SEE the glow from the monitor under your door, especially at 1am!), had dishes with spoiled leftovers all over the place, and her room smelled like a dirty sock. Boy did she throw a fit. We moved her computer into the living room, where I could monitor her somewhat, and her grades improved, her health improved, and she got back on a reasonable track socially. Glad I did it, would do it again. She now will “ground” her children from video games for a day if they are not good! :)
My son is too young for cell phones and he’s very limited on internet use, but he loses screen time. Depending on the offense, he’ll lose all his video games, television time, and computer time. When he’s really bad, he’ll also lose his toys. I rarely take away his time to go outside and play because the exercise of being outside running around is good for him. I also have never taken away his reading time, because it’s good for him to read. As he gets older, I’m sure things will change.
When I was a teenager, my mom took my phone away (I had my own house line in my room) for a few days. Honestly, I got by fine with it. I still saw my friends at school and got to talk with them at school. I had a computer and internet access at that time, but I rarely used it back then. I really hope to keep my son from getting as connecting to the damn computer and video games as it seems a lot of kids are these days.
I don’t think I’d take away a teenager’s ways of being in touch with friends totally for such a long period of time. Anything they’d do to warrant such an action would probably have them in jail anyway. Sometimes I let the kids earn things back by doing extra chores and going a certain amount of time (a day or two) without getting into trouble again. Several months seems excessive, especially if regular phone use is also taken away.
When I was a teen, oh so long ago in the dark ages of the early 90’s, we didn’t have email, cell phones, or internet. My friends and I spent a lot of time on the phone though, and if our parents had ever taken that option away we would have been horrified. Cutting someone off entirely from social contact doesn’t seem like method of discipline, it seems cruel.
@Thesexier I was never grounded for things I should have been, like talking back or not doing my chores. I was grounded for stupid things, like not being able to finish a huge hamburger for dinner….when I was 17. When I was, rarely, grounded, I could always talk my parents out of it. I don’t know how I didn’t grow up totally selfish and spoiled.
@MissAusten , wow! being grounded for not finishing your humburger? :O WTF!
I am myself kinda selfish I even feel it sometimes so I try to give and stuff like that. Though I don’t feel like I am spoiled, but 1 of my friends said that to me sometime and also my parents say it. I am always asking for things but after some days I always forget and never maybe even think about them :/
Though I never always get what I want.
I’ve grounded my kids from what ever was the “thing” they loved the most. This included: video games, tv, and lately….the computer. The groundings generally lasted for a one to four weeks but there was a couple of times I took video games away from my eldest for 6 months. Not because he had done some wrong or bad but because he was getting addicted to them and was having a really hard time moderating himself.
I’m only interested in things that work and that worked.
ak i’m digitaly grounded ALL the time. no computer. no cell. etc. i’m not even a bad kid. i’m a goody two shoes actually, but my mom and I just both have a really crapy temper and way to different opinions. what can i say, though? i don’t have any power