Time Warp! You've got 60 seconds to go back in time and speak to any age of your younger self... What do you say?

…...err just a minute!

I would go back to 2005 and tell my parents I didn’t want to move for the fifth time

Okay ready now. Me to my eight year old self : Don’t worry lad, it gets bigger…..way bigger!!

Speaking to my 20 year old self…

Wear a freaking condom! You will meet a girl named Kim and will treat her like trash, taking her for granted. Kim will always love you… You will meet other girls and treat them like queens… they will hate you for it and take you for granted. Beware of guilty talk in a woman!

Forget about your major in photography and go to business school instead. The photography is the naturally easy part for you. The business side will be very challenging.

Don’t think you have to do everything yourself. Hire the best quality employees that you possibly can. Pay them well. Don’t hire cheap… it costs more in the long run.

Buy quality. Speak your mind ONLY AFTER you understand what’s on the mind of others.

Go out more.

Don’t become consumed by these new things called computers… They are time stealers!

Be open minded and empathetic as much as you possibly can. Spend more time with your children. They grow up too fast.

Don’t worry… Everything is gonna be alrig…. Time’s Up!

To my ten year old self -

“Don’t bother. The cake is a lie. Join sports, take up debate team, do anything else, but don’t join that church.”

LOL @Seek_Kolinahr I would have said almost exactly the same thing to myself after I married. Made a huge mistake for joining a church 30 years ago, but I’m still a Christian.

To my fifteen year old me: “In twenty five years there will be a website “A what??” where you can, without being laughed at, ask whether it is pathetic or not that you never had sex yet.”

Keep doing what you’re doing. We’re doing fine!

To my 36 year old self- stay married and make him go to AA. The kids will suffer otherwise. And no, you don’t meet a better man.

To my 23-year-old self (who probably won’t listen anyway, so I’m not sure if the time travel is even worth it):

DO. NOT. LEAVE. CALIFORNIA. Do you hear me? The moment you leave, your life will begin to go downhill. I know you probably won’t believe this because no one has yet been evil with you or harmed you in a relationship, but Regan is psychotic and will abuse you to the point where you are destroyed. The cost of living is much lower elsewhere and it will take many years and a LOT of money that you don’t have in order to move back.

Trust me and listen to me, I am trying to save you from 10 years of strife, struggle, and heartache. These will overwhelm you with darkness and you will constantly ask yourself WHY did I leave? I should have stayed. By the time you make it back to CA, all your friends will be gone. The life you knew will no longer exist. It will be difficult to rebuild your life. So, just live with the unhappiness, work through it, and know you are living in the best place for you in the country. IT COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE.

The winning lotto numbers are….. ;)

I’m speaking to the 20-minute-ago Austinlad:
“Hey Austlinlad, get off this &^% Flutter and do some of the work they’re paying you to do.”

I’m talking to my 19 year old self.

“Go back home! I know it’ll be hell… for awhile. But, believe me, in about six months you will find it will be well worth it. This will change your life.”

Talking to my 18 year old self:

“tomorrow you will be doing the lighting effects at a disco, at a party called “the frog dream party” ... make sure you don’t drink anything as it has all already been laced with LSD and liquid ecstasy. and while you will enjoy the floating sensations at the beginning, its going to take you about 3 days to get over the horror inducing faces that will come out of every pattern in sight”

To my 14-year-old self, about to choose exam subjects for the next 2 years:

“Focus on art. You’re going to want to go to art school, so for god’s sake don’t let mum and dad talk you into ditching it for science. You’ll hate it, and regret it for the rest of your life.”

Take no heed of what your high school guidance counselor says about females having no opportunity to pursue math. It’s a falsehood.

To my sixth grade self: Do not under any circumstances tell Carol that you think David is cute. She is a giant blabbermouth and is going to tell him in front of the rest of most of the sixth grade. He is going to bark at you, insinuating that you are ugly. This will set you up in your John Hughes of a school system to be considered unattractive by most of the boys for almost all of the time that you are stuck there. Which will penetrate your psyche until you are convinced that barking boy was right and you will struggle with it forever.

Don’t start smoking ya dumb whore!

Me to my 8— or 9-year-old self:
Listen. You’re not that weird. Just focus on that idea. You might figure out enough of it by my age that I’ll be able to make it happen. And Jenny will be your absolute best friend, better than you can imagine right now. Oh, and tell Hannah P. she’s amazing. She’ll be dead next year.

To me, yesterday: wash your hands!!!! You’re getting a cold tomorrow!!! And don’t agree to cover Rachel’s shift while you’re at it, you’ll need to be home in bed.

Avoid Linda. She’s poison.
Fix the car muffler now so you will hear Pumper #5 going to the fire and not pull out into the intersection when the light toured green.
Pay Tri County to replace the septic tank. Trying to do it yourself will hurt you more than you can imagine.
Oh, one more thing! Never put a ladder on a picnic table so you can reach the rain gutters. Idiot!

Go back to when I was 21. and tell myself to finish school and don’t get married.

To my 8-year-old self: don’t give up piano or ballet. You’ll want those skills when you’re older, even though the practice is so boring now. Just wait until you start extended maths, then you’ll know what boring is.

Me in 2006, “Sell your ticket to the game, OSU 42 – Michigan 39….and invest heavily in First Solar, but sell by 2008…. see you in rich land.”

2 – No information about investment opportunities or market collapses are allowed.

Me at age 11 – Don’t second-guess yourself; all of what’s happening is so, so wrong. Tell someone what’s going on here!

To myself at any age:

Trust, believe in and be kind to yourself.

I’d go back to myself at age 22 and tell myself to ask out the one who got away. Although I kind of wish my middle aged self from the future would come to me now and give me some wisdom for my life today.

Talking to me on 1972—”That’s not your beer! You put yours down over there. Junior came in and dosed that one with LSD!”

There’s more to this story than meets the eye!