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gravityalwaysbringsmedown's avatar

Discussion: Hardest life lesson(s) learned?

Asked by gravityalwaysbringsmedown (70 points ) October 3rd, 2010

What is the hardest life lesson(s) you have learned over your life?

In my years, learning that things don’t always go as planned is a continual learning experience for me. Maybe it’s just the way I expect things to go, maybe my expectations are extremely unrealistic. Maybe I aim too high, or too low. I don’t know. But I do know that life can’t be planned. Maybe you just gotta go with the blastwave, and just float along, maybe having loose life plans (like finishing school).
I’ve learned this with many things I’ve tried throughout my life. I’ve planned to out-eat my friend (who weights about 10 kilos more than me) and I failed miserably. I planned to enjoy a great deal of time with someone who I had great affection for, but alas, great tragedy befell and that plan was scratched. It still hurts quite a bit. I’ve challenged myself at school multiple times, each time with me struggling and flailing around, but I’ve always come out more than I’ve expected… Though I don’t really have any expectations when it comes to school, I just do the best I can, but if my marks don’t reflect my own perspective of effort, then I get pissed off.

But within that lesson,I’ve also learned that you can’t just float along either. You gotta have direction to float. Perhaps even a goal you can kick your flippers to reach faster (get it? we’re fish here at fluther?). Many times in my life, I’ve just kept quiet, not saying or doing anything to convey my opinion or desire or idea. And by just floating on, there was no way it could become real. However, if you do say something, then there is a great chance of making it real, at the risk of getting hurt. But most of the time getting hurt is worth the risk to make it real.

I think i’m in the middle of learning a new lesson right now : You can’t always get what you * may think you * desire.

There are much more lessons I’ve learned, like : Some things you just can’t show by saying, but by knowing it yourself and acting upon it. And so, some of the really really deep lessons can’t really be translated to words, only understood.

I love learning my lessons the hard way, learning is a cruel mistress, but I love her. Oh. So. Much.

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28 Answers

ucme's avatar

I’ve learned that a door isn’t always open. Sometimes it has glass in it…..ouch!! Seriously, i’ve walked into so many doors this way. I know, it’s pathetic right? :¬)

Loried2008's avatar

My hardest lesson to learn so far has been that I’m not always right :)

SamIAm's avatar

things don’t always happen as you have hoped or planned for them to and you just have to learn how to cope

Cruiser's avatar

You get what you pay for and even when you go whole hog, be prepared to be disappointed.

gondwanalon's avatar

I learned early in my life that failure is my friend. I have struggled and failed many times and I’m stronger for it each time I help my self back onto my feet. Failure has taught me many lessons that have made me strong and for that I’m very thankful.

remambermee's avatar

I’ve learned that if you’re going to make something public, prepare for the consequences.
That if you have something to say, say it, don’t be afraid of the outcome.
That sometimes getting what you want isn’t the way to go.
And that SHIT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. it smells, but it will always get cleaned up.
And through anything and everything, always wear a smile.

asawilliams's avatar

try to leave your emotions at the door when having a discussion with someone

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

That I am not immortal.damnit ;)

BarnacleBill's avatar

Not to deny my children the opportunity to learn by failing.

ducky_dnl's avatar

That things never seem to work out and that love is irreplaceable.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

That families aren’t always the ones to turn to for security, trust, love and support and to not expect them to change for you.

Choose your friends carefully and know the difference between acquaintances and friends so you’ll be disappointed less often.

Sometimes what’s “right” isn’t what works best between people, sometimes what works best is what you decide from lesser than optimum ways.

Fidelity for some people is constant work and choice but for others it’s not work but more of an honor, joy and blessing but if someone believes in it and wants it then both ways should be respected.

shego's avatar

I learned that just because you love somebody, doesn’t mean that they are the right person for you. You can’t buy love and happiness, and if you try, you will be miserable.
I’ve also learned that failure is an option, you just have to be prepared to stand up, dust yourself off, hold your head high and try again.

Coloma's avatar

I’ve learned you can know people for years and still be very surprised. lol

YARNLADY's avatar

Nobody can see how much you hurt, and hardly anybody cares, plus it eventually makes no difference.

BratLady's avatar

That you can never make someone love you if they choose not to. Looked up my biological mother years ago thinking she was young when she had me and everybody makes mistakes. To my disappointment her comment was “I got rid of you then and I sure hell don’t want you in my life now”. Oh well, at least I tried.

gravityalwaysbringsmedown's avatar

@BratLady damn. that would have hurt

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Good intentions and good actions won’t mean good will come to you and it sure doesn’t mean bad things won’t come to you.

weeveeship's avatar

People can be very selfish and cutthroat.

janedelila's avatar

@YARNLADY holy shit ain’t that the truth. I just learned that one in the last two years

hug_of_war's avatar

People will never fully meet your expectations

zzc's avatar

Yarnlady, whooeee, I hear ya! Sometimes when someone, in passing asks,“How are you?” I feel like saying, “It’s irrelevant.”

Anyway, an important lesson I’ve learned, is timing. I used to think everything had to be addressed right now. I have learned the value of timing.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Don’t always depend on others to carry your own burdens. It’s sorta what I’ve learned I guess. Didn’t work for me. Things just became worse when that happened. But yeah I carry my own now.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

Never under-estimate people by their looks. Making fun of others just to be cool. Looking down on others cause sometimes those people you are making fun of are actually nice and some of them are willing to get to know you but you throw them off.
Appreciate whatever you have cause there are some people in this world who don’t have anything at all so be grateful.
Love people for who they are not for what they look like, if they are trevs or poor.
Dont try to change people, they are unique in their own way. (Love you mom)-I always thought she was too skinny and so I was always ashamed of going out with her or to parents meetings. Often when we go somewhere people always think we are sisters.
BUT THATS JUST HOW HER BODY IS, IT CANT BE CHANGED.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Alcoholism and drug addiction are stronger than love.

mattbrowne's avatar

When you’re angry don’t send out emails. Sleep on it.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@mattbrowne: Definitely and also detach from the celly.

Coloma's avatar

@Neizvestnaya

Oh yes they are!

Can’t make progress with a sick mind. ;-)

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