(NSFW) Do you think participating in a threesome is wrong? If not would you ever try it?

If all parties are consenting there is nothing wrong with it. dont do it just to please your guy or girl, but if you are up for it, he is up for it, and you can find a 3rd, why not.

also, this seems a very primitive idea on some level. the kind of idea that if one good thing is good, then two good things must be better, seems a very primal and basic thought to me.

I told a girlfriend once that i wanted to try having sex with two girls at once, and she agreed!!!... but she was then livid when i told her she was neither of them, jk

@poisonedantidote I wanted to touch your comment, but I like my manberries where they are, not in a jar. :)

It’s not something that I necessarily feel the need to do (although never say never) and I certainly don’t think it’s wrong providing it’s between consenting adults. I enjoy the intimacy of sex being just my boyfriend and me, I think I would feel uncomfortable if someone else was there.

@Leanne1986 That’s my big thing is I think I’d feel awkward or uncomfortable.

I’ve been bi-curious in the past so it’s not about it being another female (which would be what my husband is wanting) It’s the fact we’re sharing something so personal with another person at the same time. I feel there is a difference between having sex and making love. All I do is make love to my husband at this point, so it feels like I’m backtracking to just have sex with him and another person. I would have to detach myself in order to not be emotionally bothered by the act.

You are married and both are considering this? what happened to your marriage vows?

@john65pennington Our marriage vows were>> To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

One day my husband and I were discussing the things we’ve done and also what we have wanted to do in the bedroom. A threesome is something we’ve both been curious about, but it’s not something either one of us is pushing for. He told me that he loves me and would be happy to only be with me for the rest of our lives. It was just a conversation; however, I listen to what he says and decided to think about it. I wanted to ask people’s opinions and hear about other people’s experiences. Would I do this? Probably not. Will I think about it for the sake of having an open mind? Yes.

It would have to be an unusual combination of people to pull it off, but there are some things that people enjoy that take more than a twosome. Some women have said they would like to try a DP. If that’s for you and hubby is willing to try it might work. It also could be very dangerous for the relationship.
Edit: Hey cruiser, just found a place for divorce insurance!

Not wrong, but, not for me. Can be difficult, if emotions are involved.

@Adirondackwannabe Yeah… I’d have to say (weirdly) I’d rather it be a chick than a guy. DP is not for me.

@Loried2008 I think most of the time the two women one guy thing is fairly common as a fantasy. It was a little surprising to me but it was a woman that proposed the other.

@Adirondackwannabe Yeah I actually know some women that would like to be with a couple of guys that way. I think I’d be more comfortable with a woman because I’ve done stuff with women in the past. Plus I don’t think I could look my husband in the eyes after having sex with another male in front of him; yeah we would have agreed on it but still it just seems more… wrong? That makes no sense lol

@Loried2008 That makes perfect sense. It’s not something to be taken lightly. If any doubts whatsoever, don’t do it. The downside is much larger than the upside.

@Adirondackwannabe It makes me wonder if he’d feel that way after we were with a woman. We both are pretty skeptical on the whole thing, so it’s probably best if we don’t go there.

If you want to push yourself in that direction, maybe start off with a little voyeurism and see how that feels.

@kevbo haha! I’m perfectly comfortable watching other people it’s being with other people I have a problem with. For instance, I’ve been intimate with my husband while being in the same room as another couple who were also having sex. Also, before I met my husband my friends had sex in my room and asked me to join in. Although I declined it was very open and I saw everything. It feels so completely different to me.

It takes maturity and open mindedness in order for it to work.

You cant have “rules” and it HAS TO BE something you both honestly want.

If I tried i’m sure the wife would be a willing participant. Yeah she’d have a hard time choosing who to stab first :¬(

I don’t think it’s wrong. But I don’t care for them. It’s really rare that people can handle them as much as they say they can, especially when 2 of the people are together already.

Having had one, there’s a lot of awkwardness that you don’t anticipate. Not awkwardness like tension, but positioning-wise. Remember your first couple of times how you had to figure out where everything went, and where it was best to put your feet, and your hands, etc? It’s pretty much like that all over again. You also have to talk more, telling both people what you want, and hearing what they want – you can’t just go off reactions like you might be able to with a single partner you’ve been with for awhile. It’s harder to come to a stopping point, since you have 3 people who need to finish instead of 2 – often, when one person isn’t finished, you just start up again with the other person (even if you’re really tired or need some juice or something). Basically, you think it will be insanely hot – like having sex with the rock star you had a crush on in high school!!! Except, it’s like having sex with the rock star you had a crush on in high school – he’s pretty much comotose 80% of the time from all the drugs back in the day, goes to bed at a reasonable hour, is on heart, prostate, and thyroid medication, needs Cyalis, eats turkey-bacon and egg white omlets, and mostly is up for an unsatisfying quicky before watching Leno.

It isn’t wrong, but it can be difficult. In my experience having sex with 2 or more people at one time works the best when no one involved is actively in a relationship with any of the other people in the “bed” they are sharing. Emotions can be brutal, and jealousy rears its head faster than you realise, even if everyone agrees.
@papayalily is absolutely right about the awkwardness.

@papayalily lol your comment cracked me up x) so in all you’d say it’s overrated?

@TheOnlyNeffie I know I’d have no problem if I was single, but yes seeing as I think my husband is the greatest thing since sliced bread I don’t particularly favor “sharing” him lol Maybe this isn’t for me..

@Loried2008 I definitely would not dive into something like this unless you are absolutely sure that you want it, and it doesn’t sound like you do. And that is more than okay, you’re allowed to feel that way. You married each other, nothing wrong with exclusivity. :)

@TheOnlyNeffie True :) I’d just like to think I do all I can to give him what he wants. I think I feel this way simply because he never pushes anything on me.

Thanks everyone for your input :)

@Loried2008 totally overrated.

@Loried2008 Also, it’s important to remember that your hubby probably wants a 3some with you and a Victoria’s Secret model. Do you know any women that are models? Are they willing to have a 3some with you? Exactly. Now try to come up with a woman who would have a 3some with you two. Is she actually a women either of you would want to have sex with? It’s a lot harder than you’d think.

And like @TheOnlyNeffie said, it should be something that both of you want. Being a good wife doesn’t mean giving him everything he wants. If he wanted to bring a 12 year old into the mix (sexually), would you let him to make him happy? Ok, that’s a bit extreme, but this isn’t like letting him have another video game, or making what he wants for dinner one night more a week, this is inviting someone into the marital bed. Marriage is a partnership, and you’ve got a long way to go – don’t do something that will cause serious problems right off the bat, you’ve both still got midlife crisises (crises?) for that.

Most relationships cannot withstand a threesome. But if it’s just sex and/or you have some sort of arrangement with your partner, there is nothing wrong with it. It can actually be quite satisfying and very pleasurable.

@papayalily We actually know someone that we both would feel comfortable with. I think he definitely doesn’t know what to expect as much as I do though. Mainly because this woman is someone I’ve had sexual experiences with previously. He thinks she is a very attractive person (I have good taste) Is she a supermodel? No. Is she pretty and talented in bed? Yes.

It would be more comfortable for me than it would be him actually because of the way he is. He’d be worrying about me and how I felt about the whole thing the entire time. I have a feeling this is something he’d like the idea of but wouldn’t know what to do in the situation if he felt out of control.

I don’t give him everything he wants lol There’s no way that’d fly, but I do always try to think of him and what he’d like or want if I find it reasonable. My husband would never want to do something so wrong as have sex with a minor. If he did, of course I wouldn’t do it. You are right though, I would hate to do this and it cause problems right off the bat. There’s plenty of time to grow together and think about these sorts of things. It would be a one time thing and I suppose we figured we’d get it out of our system at an earlier age lol.

I don’t think it’s “wrong.” But I know it’s not something I’d want to do. He’s my boyfriend, get your hands off him, you dumb slut. :)

It’s technically adultery (or more generally, extramarital relations), which God has billed, on several occasions, as sinful.

Wether it’s wrong or not depends on the individual. For a person who is a Christian it would be very wrong. For a person with no religion or point of view forbidding it then in his/her point of view it isn’t wrong. Something wrong in one group of people is ok in another group. Me being a Christian means that It is wrong in my point of view. I also view it as wrong because it means that sex with you significant other is not really that special because you are willing to share it with others. If I had a wife and she was wanting to have sex with others as well as me. I wouldn’t feel as honored to have sex with her because she is willing to have sex with others as well as me. If someone wants to have sex with multiple people then what’s the point of getting married in the first place?

Ain’t nothing wrong with it if everyone involved is fine and comfortable with it. It also does happen a lot more than we think, only that social standards make us think otherwise.
Which is kinda odd and…dumb, when you think about the strong axis that society has towards sex, with nearly no bounds. :/

I’m not against it. But I wouldn’t do it if I was in a relationship. I’m not the kind that can share. But I wouldn’t rule out a casual threesome under the right circumstances. I think this would be the best way to avoid the potential complications that might arise from a threesome.

I’m old school. I listened to Dr. Drew back in the day.

can’t say if I was in your position. But uh since I’m still young….and horny….I would obviously consider it. But I’m young and horny like I said. But who knows…Maybe if you accept you might get awesome pleasure out of it. Though if in a marriage…..I’m not totally sure. Singles in my opinion work better than with a marriage.

I was constantly asked to join my friend for a threesome over a course of two months. Needless to say, I denied each and every time. Why? Because I was in a relationship, and almost as soon as he heard it was over, he asked nearly right away again. Also, I’m a sucka into believing that the first time should be special. I don’t think sharing a girl with a friend or seeing him in the nude would be very special for me. It wouldn’t add a shine to see him copulating either. When I expressed my views, he said that his girlfriend (WHO WAS TOTALLY OKAY WITH IT AND APPARENTLY IM ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE WHO SHE WOULD THREESOME WITH) would just blow me while he nailed her. Gross.

Also, I’ve spent a lot of time away from him, in fear of his sexual desires (which he has shown in a round-about way) over me… My ass has a no-entry sign tattooed right on it.

Having a threesome doesn’t show very much commitment, and it really depends on the type of relationship. If the relationship is commitment-heavy then it is very wrong. No commitments, not that bad.

I think it’s totally up to the people involved.

I don’t think it’s wrong. I think it’s weird to think of it as a sexual exploit instead of as a relationship, but that’s me. I believe it is possible to have more than one lover at the same time, and to have three people in one love relationship. Obviously, that would have a sexual component.

Anyway, the few times that I did it were all with very close friends. The first time was awkward, but I think that was because the woman was more into my girlfriend than me. It was kind of just an excuse to get her hands on my girlfriend.

The other times… wow! Good times! That was my most favorite time of my life. I hoped it could last forever, because it was like basking in a basket of puppies—all fun, no cares. Except there were cares, so we had to all move out, and go our separate directions, and that kind of killed it all.

So I wouldn’t do it unless I knew the third person well, and we both really liked him or her. In fact, loved him or her. That way, you know you all care about each other and that you can work things through with love, not just with the meter ticking. I trusted the people I was involved with so much that I wasn’t even jealous.

Love is an amazing thing, and when it is shared with more than one person, it gets even more amazing. Even though all of us are no longer together, we still are all friends, and will remain so because of the history we share. There’s something about a serious kind of intimacy that, at least for me, builds a foundation for lasting affection and friendship. When I say serious, I mean that it was ongoing, not just a one-time thing.

So I wouldn’t do it just as a one-off, sex vacation. You can send your husband to Thailand, or maybe even Nevada, if you really want to give him that sort of thing. A threesome, I believe, should be taken seriously. It is not something to play with. If you play with it, it gets very confusing.

I know most people think it’s the other way around. Keep things simple and uncommitted, and it’ll all be clean and no hurt feelings. I think that’s a load of crap and that most people are fooling themselves if they think sex can be divorced from humanity. We are not Barbies and Kens messing around, having plastic, genitalless sex on a plastic bed.

We are people with emotions and a need to connect to others, and fake connections are very confusing. Mentally and emotionally, we have to partition those parts of ourselves off from our true selves in order to fuck around. When we do that, we hide from ourselves the knowledge that our emotions are connected to our bodies and to others. We act as if it doesn’t matter. This kind of fooling of the self is hidden and it starts to act its way out, and we are totally confused about where our strange feelings are coming from, and why things no longer seem to work.

If you do it (and I don’t think you should), do it seriously. Take it seriously. Develop a relationship with someone—or better yet, get involved with someone you both already care about. Do it understanding the possible consequences and do it with care. You are humans, not fucking machines. This isn’t a joke. Acknowledge and work with the emotions; don’t block yourselves off from them. Otherwise, don’t be surprised if it has a negative impact on your marriage.

@wundayatta Wow, I really like your response. I’ve always kind of worried about getting involved with someone I know and love for fear of what it would do to our relationships after the fact. The girl I was with in the past is my best friend and I love her with all my heart but not romantically anymore and that’s why I’m afraid to involve her.. She’s practically an ex, but because our friendship was so strong we moved on and are still friends now. We aren’t as close and we choose not to talk about our experiences, one because I’m married and two because our relations are generally frowned upon in my small town. My husband also has his best friend that he’s had what I like to call a “Bro-mance” with. He’s the only guy he’d feel comfortable with and trust mainly because .. well they love each other, just not sexually. I don’t want to just go and have sex with someone, I feel like sexual experiences should be as you described. Seeing as I have no knowledge of what it takes to have sex with an extra individual, I’ve simply listened to what the majority has told me which has been to keep it simple and uncommitted. I’ve never personally had sex with someone and it not emotionally effected me. I just assumed there were certain people out there that were made for this sort of thing. To be able to detach themselves in a sexual act. Personally I give it my all so to be able to read what you’ve said really reaches me. Thank you for you input.

@gravityalwaysbringsmedown See this is another thing we’ve worried about is involving his guy friend… We have no idea how he’d feel about it and we don’t want things to be awkward if he said no.

@Loried2008 This is probably not the case, but I wanted to say something just in case. When I was younger, I was working with a number of lesbians. Some of them considered themselves “political” lesbians. They were doing it because it was a way to show solidarity with their sisters, even though it wasn’t natural to them. If either of you is doing this for “political” reasons, I doubt if it will work.

Do it because you want to do it, not because you want to please your spouse. It’s not bad to want to please your spouse, but things like this can have huge repercussions—emotionally—somewhere down the road, if you aren’t really in it because it’s what you really want to do and because it feels right. If you’re not comfortable—at any time—don’t do it.

Been there, done that. What did I learn, you ask? Stock up on Viagra, B complex vitamins, condoms and Red Bull.

So update>>> After further discussing this with my husband we decided, for now at least, this isn’t our cup of tea :) He agreed that he would find it awkward and it’s more of a fantasy than something he truly wants. He only wants a relationship with me in every way. Thanks everyone for your very helpful input!

I think you had already hit on this in the post, but having a 3sum while in a committed relationship is different thatn just participating in a 3sum at some point during your life.

It is wrong if one party coerces the other person into agreeing to a threesome against his/her wishes. Both people should be on the same page about bringing a third person into the bedroom. Threesomes can breed jealousy and contempt, so only do it if you are truly comfortable with the idea. If you think that the experience will make you feel insecure about the relationship, then say no. Some things are better left in the realm of fantasy…

I have and definitely would again participate in a threesome! It has never been a problem in any of my relationships and I find them totally sexy! I think it all depends on your confidence level and how much faith you have in yourself as a person, the only ones that usually have a really big issue are the ones that are very insecure and become jealous!

@amberrae !!

If mine ever wanted to do it with 2 girls, I’d let him pick the girl he wanted.. and then I’d stipulate that I’d have to be allowed to fuck his best friend.

@thesparrow Do you want to fuck his best friend?

Sometimes..