Say anything in 2 sentences or less! Anything goes!

It has been a few months and I still want a cigarette. I should have never started.

Everything has been said at least once, and I can prove it.

One time, a friend actually said to me, “we got cooking oil all over that hamster.”

Said by a close friend: “Is it classy to burp at the table? I feel like since I started breast feeding, anything goes.”

I am not a trained monkey to perform for school assignments and the like. I am a person, and I have value.

Is this for an art project or an Art project?
I think I may prefer the lower case variety.

“A light out here looks like it’s masturbating itself. Oh dear.”

Is it failure if the end result makes me a happier person? It is in my their eyes.

[Throws some lurve at Marina.]
Dance, monkey! Dance!
Just kidding.

Also, from a text message:
“This proves then, conclusively, that the Hulk is anti-semetic.”

When I was in school, if the assignments had included dancing monkeys, I may have listened a little more.

I have honestly never been so sad about the death of someone I didn’t know before. It speaks of a cosmic injustice that makes me glad I’m an atheist.

Most people are born priceless originals, but die cheap copies.

btw, this is not a question

Say anything in 2 sentences?
Anything goes?

Oh for fuck’s sake.
Computer says no!

It seemed like a good idea at the time, even if I was naked.

I’d rather not describe to you where the tattoo, the bruises, the bite marks, and the case of jungle rot came from.

To err is human. To laughingly deride the one that makes the error is human nature.

@syz. I’ll go you one better. “To err is human. To blame it on someone else shows management potential.”

Hee hee hee

This Fluther question confuses me because it says it can be in two sentences or less, but since “anything goes”, even a run-on sentences and sentence fragments will count, so my response can be as few as two words or as many as all the words in all of the books combined, minus all of the periods and strung together with “and” and “but” and “because” and “so”, so we can honestly write and write until the day is done and still not finish, unless there is a character limit on Fluther, which I heard there is but it has never been reached, even by dalepetrie, and I honestly want to try and reach the lengths of dalepetrie’s quips but I think that might be difficult since I don’t know what to talk about, but I could cheat and use some other text like “Lorem Ipsum” and fill pages with gobbledigook, but I’m not going to because the people before me are posting perfectly reasonable sentences that are interesting and bizarre, and I wonder where they got these ideas from, and I also wonder if there is any point responding to this question at all since it is not a question and it’s just going to help someone do some school project and GOD, I’m hungry, and dinner’s almost ready, but I want to keep typing to make this entry longer, but my stomach is angry at me, so I should go eat.

Done.

lurve is the best word ever, and it has been given to shadling.

if anyone’s curious about mine incidentally, feel free to pm me.

Phew! Nice!

@shadling. That’s a wicked cool run on sentence! Is there such a thing as a run on paragraph? :o)

not to be an a-hole or anything, but I’m guessing your assignment was to “go out” and “Gather” different statements from different people (old/young/poor/rich etc.)
and not copy/paste answers from a forum.

My next sentence is false. The preceding statement is true.

Nice one, Bri. :o)

Tomorrow, our national soul will be reclaimed and reinvigorated from the new crucible, the new melting pot of America with her promise returned to her, her word made good, or it will rot off and atrophy, choked by fear, afraid to embrace the promise of the new era, failing us as surely as our eyes failed us in 2000 and our minds failed us in 2004. Either way, a dike will burst in my heart, and I tremble at the prospect.

Don’t insult the alligator until after you’ve crossed the river!

I am listening to Jenny Scheinman as I type this. I can honestly say I want to make love to her and then have her sing me to sleep.

A self masturbating light. Is there any other kind?

No, well, none that are worth a damn.

Thanks everyone for their participation so far. Please keep them coming.

@Windex, valid question,
It is for my final design project at uni and as such we are “designing”/writing the brief/requirements as well as the outcome.
So there are truly no limits to what I do or where I gather my input from in this case as long as I later mention it in the brief.

Keep it going people. Great stuff so far!

“If the words ‘life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness’ don’t
include the right to experiment with your own consciousness. Then the
Declaration of Independence isn’t worth the hemp it was written on.”

You will update us on this thread if this project comes to fruition, yes?

@bluefreedom – thanks

You’re welcome! Remember, I’m here for you!

I am in love. More in love than I ever thought I could be.

I believe in everything; nothing is sacred.
I believe in nothing; everything is sacred.

Jake’s questions always made people think.
For that reason alone, he wasn’t much fun at parties.

“Fruition” is a great word. It rhymes with “demolition”.

Millions of years ago, hydrothermic gasses came bursting out of the center of the Earth.
Something similar happened last night after I had chili for dinner.

Indeed I will update everyone through this thread once the project is complete and printed.

PS: Feel free to submit more than once.

If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite.
For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro’ narrow chinks of his cavern.
William Blake

Wiki wiki wah.

I take it that was the “or less” part, shadling?

“You have 30 seconds to make me fall in love with you, or you can piss off.”

Haha, yup!

“The real secret of magic is that the world is made of words, and that if you know the words that the world is made of you can make of it whatever you wish.”

Please vote for Obama tomorrow. Also, if you live in California, vote “no” on 8.

I hate it how when you truly try to show your teachers your appreciation, you get accused of being a suck-up.

Vote.
Seriously.

JUMBO
shrimp

It’s almost 6 AM here.
I haven’t slept a wink.

I’ve been at work since 6 p.m. last night and it’s almost 4 a.m. here. And after finishing work at 6 a.m., I’m going to be standing in line to vote. Talk about a looooong day.

I’m young, white, female, and about to vote for the black guy, the world is pretty cool today, huh?

I’ve only had three hours of sleep.
But voting in this election sure beats coffee.

I enjoy getting lost in a good book.
I get pissed off when good book gets lost.

Awesome awesome feedback everyone!!
Thank you very much.

If we could keep this going till about 100 or more that would be even better..

You guys have anything else left to say?
there is your question :)

“Imagination is more important than knowledge; Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
Albert Einstein

Here I sit all broken hearted. Tried to crap and only farted.

and a classic from Bluefreedom.

Shit!
Fuck!

I love my sweet wife.
Because of her love for me, I also love life.

I love scotch, blue skies, and of course, Baxter!
Scotch, scotch, scotch, I love scotch!

You dance like a buttered monkey.

Buttered monkeys may be tasty, but that’s a little too close to cannibalism for my tastes.

Obama won.

Suck it neocons.

=).

=D!

Na, na, na, nah. Na, na, na, nah. Hey, hey, good bye!

Don’t let the door hit you on the butt on your way out, George Bush.

the shortest thing Dale has ever typed!! :D

And yet still effective as always.
I love Dale Petrie.

Who doesn’t?

Um, I don’t love him.
But I’m a guy.

I know this much is true:

I love chocolate.

@meemorize—If there’s really no limit to where you get these lines from, you might consider taking a peek at http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

Or, there’s a great site for exactly this purpose:
Cursebird

Atta boy dale.

I’ll take love, lurve or even regards. Ever hear that George Carlin bit about love and regards?

Yes we did.

We did it!

We won!
We won!

you could try http://www.twistori.com for some more too.

Just one rotten apple seems to be ruining the bushel.

These pretzels. Are making me thirsty.

I came.
I saw.
I Conquered.

(Sorry, I never learned to count)

There is only one thing you need to know about life.

Don’t let the kids find the cereal or they will eat the whole box.

I think I actually did that a time or two, Bri. LOL

Spelling’s overratted.

JackAdams is gone.
Now DeadDolly is, too.

you mean banned?

dd wasn’t banned.

oh. I was confused by Augustlan

DD left on her own.
JA was banned.

And the question that had all that information in it is GONE! What happened to it?

@august: maybe it was deleted because of the part that was a direct copy of a private email Ben wrote? Just a guess, probably wrong, but a guess all the same.

Perhaps because it is unbecoming to gossip about users?

@poof: I never saw the part with Ben’s email…dang it now I’m curious!

@Nimis: I don’t think we were “gossiping” exactly, just pondering their fate and why they chose to leave (it turned out that one hadn’t chosen).

I don’t think it’s malicious per se. Perhaps even something that he wouldn’t even object to necessarily. But I’d still throw it under gossip. There’s speculation on action and character. And some less than nice comments about someone who is not there to speak up for themselves.

Ah. Point taken.

And, it’s back.

Don’t think it ever stops.
Gossip makes the world go ‘round?

Speaking of gossip. Have you heard about that girl Lisa?
Yeah, the really cute one. Apparently, I’ve heard, she never sleeps! ;)

Though I think poof was referring to the first has anyone seen JA question.

Neither does that Nimis! What is with these people? ; )

Who can keep track of all the JA questions?
We should number them or something.

Tsk. Tsk.

@august: correctamundo.

So! Two sentences or less.

Bye bye now.
Thanks for coming.

What do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start.

What do you get when you mix a brown ckicken with a brown cow?

brown chicken brown cow think “bow chicka bow bow”

No matter how hard I try, I can’t avoid morning.

The key to surviving winter is absorption.

I messed up this morning. Big time.

The time has come, just as the walrus said. However, we shall not talk of shoes, nor ships, nor ceiling wax, nor cabbages and kings.

Do haikus count?
No, they don’t have fingers.

…and why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings…
Callou, callay, no work today… we’re cabbages and kings! :D

(I want to lurve you more than once Katawa!!)

sounds like a good time ;)

My dog’s ass just sent someone a text message. Don’t you love touchscreens?

I have to remember, of course, to mock the recipient.

Anything in two sentences or less.

Anything goes.

Har har, Bri.

Har har.

Any one who has common sense will remember that the bewilderments of the eyes are of two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light, which is true of the mind’s eye, quite as much as of the bodily eye; and he who remembers this when he sees any one whose vision is perplexed and weak, will not be too ready to laugh; he will first ask whether that soul of man has come out of the brighter light, and is unable to see because unaccustomed to the dark, or having turned from darkness to the day is dazzled by excess of light.

And he will count the one happy in his condition and state of being, and he will pity the other; or, if he have a mind to laugh at the soul which comes from below into the light, there will be more reason in this than in the laugh which greets him who returns from above out of the light into the cave.

(two sentences courtesy of Socrates, as recorded by Plato)

I screwed up. I’m really sorry.

Let’s get more folks on this thread. I’m scared I’ll repeat myself.

@shadling

=).

=D!

I’m eating canned potatoes. They are delicious with cheap seasoning.

Deja vu is for real. I once saw a sentence somewhere that said “Deja vu is for real.”

Wait until you read what is next. Go back one sentence.

Don’t ever research tapeworms. Seriously.

Don’t buy small children books about the human body, especially the digestive system.

Or at least don’t read them such books when they are in sleeping bags.

My friend got high in the bathroom. He used science to explain it.

This one time, in band camp, I stuck a flute in my pu**y.

I love that flippin line!

I got suspended from work for being late when they changed the schedule without notifying the staff, I’d already requested vacation days for a week, and now because of this it’s worked out that I have two weeks off, I couldn’t be happier…Did I just win?

no, because it’s without pay…?

If Asmonet has enough cash, I’d say she won. Enjoy the time off!

“life is beautiful; you just don’t know it yet.”

Oh trust me, it’s the winningest win of winning there ever was. And it’s all mine.

Just a quick update.
I have not forgotten about you guys. And I am happy to report that the exhibition and opening of the gallery — where your statements were printed live — were a huge success with over 500 people attending.
I will need a bit of a break after these past weeks of non-stop work and will update here again once the online documentation (video, pdf,..) are available.
it should not be much longer than a week or two.

Thanks again.
M.

Sweet!

Congrats!
Glad we could help.

Found it impossible not to stick to the format!

I love the 90’s.
aaw I am too late

Oh my goodness.
I completely forgot about this question!

Yeah, this could have been up there among the best of 08. It’s not really a question,but I really enjoyed it.

I usually dislike when old threads are resurrected.
But this is a happy exception.

@shad: Me too!

So where’s our update?