Do you name inanimate objects?

My doormat is named Matilda. I realized one day that the doormat is something that gets brought back from a store, but never gets let in the house…and it get’s walked all over. I gave it a name so it gets the same respect the other items inside get.

I find it really hard to name inanimate objects. My friend had named her car and I don’t really see the appeal in it. Your second last question frightens me…

at my college newspaper’s office (where i am now), the computers have names. the computer im using now is called Morning Wood, others are called Nigel, Donatello and Midnight Machine. we also have a paddle that is named PHA-Q because that’s what’s written on it. there are many other objects with names but they’re mostly inside jokes.

we refer to the computers names all the time. for instance “im gonna use nigel to finish my section” or “why the fuck wont you load Word donatello!”

No, I can’t recall naming any inanimate objects…

Of course my vehicle has a name. So do my guitars (and other instruments), any piece of technology, toy (er, prop) weapons, stuffed animals, Nalgene, and probably more things that I’m not thinking of at the moment. I’m a namer.

My roommate and I used to both have white cars and we named them both Blanche. ex: “Can you move Blanche for me?” “I’m going to the store with Blanche.”

And yes, my car answers to his name.

I named my stuffed animals. I only have one still with me and her name is Monkey (she’s a chimp). My car is named Junebug. It’s one of those blue/purple VW beetles.

Nothing else has a name.

I have a named cinder block, too.

I had a friend who called some of his things by what they were called. It’s weirder than it sounds. Instead of saying “I’ll text him on my phone,” he’ll say “I’ll text him on Sidekick.”

Or not say “Lets drive in my car,” but instead say “Lets drive in Towncar.”

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any crazier, I found out he named his subconscious Kyle, because calling himself Dan while thinking out loud sounds weird.

My dogs toys have names so he will get them. He has an elephant named Republican, a squirrel name Blackie, and a bear named Bear Market. I’m not creative but he is pretty good at picking them out and delivering an ass chewing.

The only inanimate objects i name are my bowls. I name them because well you HAVE to name your bowls. It gives them character.
My bowls names are as follows
portabowl – my little portable bowl :P

T-Virus- glass steam roller thats filled with a red gel that reminds me of RE, plus one hit out of this and youll turn into a zombie

Reading Rainbow-This is the mother of all bongs 4 chambers with diffusers and all.It got its name for two reasons, it has butterflies etched on the the glass and “butterfly in the sky i can go twice as HIGH

Hirohito- sadly hes no longer with me, but he was a glass dragon bowl

Photoshop-theres no real connection with the name to bong on this one other than my friend was tripping on mushrooms and thought it looked photo shopped and the bong wasnt real :P

I also have a stone one thats named after a fellow fluther member who made it for me, but i dont know if they want me mentioning it or not, so we’ll leave that one out.

Yes, My car’s name is little bandit, after his owner…
I have a stuffed dog named Hugo, because is hanging in a Hugo Boss store bag in my bedroom
My car does not recognize his name, but I’m working on that :)
I do call my clothing with names, like “where are my Giorgios!?”, things like that

My s.o. has a name for my animate object. That count?

@uberbatman: Why do you have to name your bowls? I have never named mine and was always kind of against doing so.

My car is named “Sexy”
My TI-83 graphing calculator is “Sir Graphs A Lot”
My TI-89 graphing calculator is “God”
My gorilla Christmas ornament is “George”
My piggy bank is “Rosemary”
My parents washing machine is “Hieronymus”
My secret hiding place is “Dan Rather”
The metal T-rex statue on the UW campus is “Steve Irwin”
I collect Gund Snuffles and they all have weather related names (Fujita, Windy, Leeward, Kona, Albedo, Aurora, Rossby, Kelvin… etc.)

I name everything.

@GoS because i like to think of them as their own entity, they are special to me :). I never named crappy pieces, just the nice ones. Plus it makes it a lot easier to talk about them with people so instead of saying that one bowl i have thats small and looks like such and such i can just say “portabowl”

@Les “My TI-83 graphing calculator is “Sir Graphs A Lot”” LOL

My guitar… it’s so magical and unique I couldn’t give it a name that captured its immense beauty and potential…

Bongs do get named, usually not by myself though. uberbatman, your Reading Rainbow sounds like a classic. That message… it’s too good to be true!

Whew! Glad I re-read that quip. Thought uberbatman had named his bowels. Eww.

Oh, I name everything. My computer is Charlie. My mp3 player is Zoe. My old phone was Sarah (I don’t know what I should name my new one). My calculator is Herbert. My favorite named object is my car though. I named her Colonel Samantha Carter in honor of one of the characters on one of my favorite shows: Stargate!

Wow, I’m so oblivious. When you said bowls, I thought you meant mixing bowls and cereal bowls and the like. I need to get out more…

I named my last bowel movement incredible hulk(he was big and green)

@uberbatman, for you.

I name a lot of objects. No real reason, I just feel affection for them and name them.

There are the obvious nicknames where I use the first syllable and add -y to the end (lappy is my laptop). Then things like Molly Grue was my first car, Neil my first iPod, Glinda is my iPhone, Schmendrick is my computer, the Green Monster is my other laptop, Tuppy is my toothbrush, Baby is my mixer (it’s a Kitchen Aid), I’m sure there are more, but mostly I name large purchases or important things.

And if you noticed a trend in there: yes, I had something named Amalthea too. And a Lir.

@robmandu i thought you were going to link me here

Ow! My sense of decency!

GA, well played.

My house is named Rickety Deck Watch Your Step.
My husband’s car is named Greasy 1.
The turquoise chair is called Around And Around And Around.
All my mixing bowls are named That One.
My six matching plates are called The Greens, to distinguish them from The Grans, which are inherited.
The mulberry tree is named You Beauty.

My cell phone is Celly
My husband’s wallet is Wally
We have a big stuffed bear – He is Barry.
My daughter and her roommates named their step stool.

my car is maroon or, burgundy. so therefore, we call it Ron Burgundy
“Stay classy flutherers.”

I don’t, personally, but I’ve known people who did. In an office where I once worked, the hand truck (dolly) was named Salvador, for Salvador Dali. The copier machine was named Copiernicus. There were lots more, but it’s been a long time, and that’s all I can remember.

I refer to my car as my “Bike” because after driving my old german car it feels like a bike in comparison.

No.

We (my SO and I) have Gold Honda which is “Goldie Honda” and we also have a Jetta named “Joan Jetta”. When I was younger all of my friends and I called cars “pajibas” . Mostly because it sounds like a dirty word and we could get great reactions out of people saying things like “you have a pasty white pajiba”.

@ clairedete maybe Ron Burgundy and Goldie Honda should date.

@lyn: I think we should definitely set something up for them.

Doesn’t everyone?

Where I work we keep this 5 lb. pet rock in the lobby named, well… Rocky.

My cars name is Harvey Goldstein. Yes, he is part of the tribe and therefore hates paying for gas.

Just my stuffed toys. And my old computer is called The Beast.

Oh, shrub. Just your one million stuffed animals?

haha shuddup. and there’s only about 150 thankyouverymuch :P

über When can I come over?

My computer is named Peabody because at times I feel like it’s pet boy!

if you bring the ganja anytime you like :P

My first car was named Hideo. One of my later cars was named Enterprise because it looked like some sort of spaceship. All of our white pickup trucks have been named Fred. My brother’s VW Microbus was named Louise.

At one time, when apartment dwelling, I had approximately 200 potted plants, all of which were named. The only two I remember are Sigmoid and Harvard.

My brother’s elderly bicycle was named Chauncey Herkimer. Mine was named Speedo.

But we don’t name things other than vehicles at our house. Except pets and people.

We used to have a ‘70 Cougar, and we named it Freddy Cougar, because it was picky and a nightmare for my husband, it didn’t like him, sometimes it wouldn’t start unless I would sit in the car, he could do anything that he wanted to try to get it going, and then I would have a seat in there, and it would literally start right up.
My computer has recently earned the name Pos, for piece of s… and I threaten to blow it up and run a semi over the dead parts. Other things have names too. Like one of our cats, her name is Doggie, for a reason, lol.

Laptop: Cornelius
Desktop: Dot
Camcorder: Job

That is all, really.

Ah, yet another problem. I just can’t get myself to think of inanimate objects as living things, deserving of a human type name. I can’t get past their made-ness. It just seems so silly to treat them as if they were pets.

However, I can, in a semi-facetious way, invent gods for various things. There’s the parking god, who helps you get parking spaces, and the computer god (Hollerith) who helps you keep the computers running well. He really likes me. Sometimes all I have to do is stand by a person’s machine and it will start working properly. Weird.

There could be a TV god, and a cell phone god, and an iPod god (that’s got to be a cool god, probably wears shades, and is a hell of a dancer). A backyard god, and a compost heap god.

And all those gods could have names. That I could enjoy.

I always osrt of wanted to, but I always forget them anyway.
Though, the ones that have stuck are the ones that are bongs/bowls. My chillum is named Goobarooroo. There used to be a bown named rainbow but it broke, and my friend also has one named lil craig, and two bongs, one named BM (has a picture of bob marley) and GD (has grateful dead bears)

I have several inanimate objects named.
A plastic crab named Rufus, an armadillo shaped example of taxidermy named Prince Florizel of Bohemia, my three plants Cornelius, Rodriguez and Hamlet, my iPod Cúchulainn, and my bag is named Knockainy.

Oh! I forgot about my plant. He’s an aloe vera and his name is Alan.

@melt: lurve for Cúchulainn!

Two more…

Our subaru is Soobie. I sing it’s name too – Subbie Subbie Sue

Any TV remote – Ga Mote

@daloon – Gods are very important, more than most people know. The primary god is the bowling god, who is so great as to remain nameless. Woe betide anyone who offends the bowling god, for he is related to all of the other gods!

An offense against him will result in a frown from the transportation god, and henceforth your luggage will never arrive at its final destination without at least one side trip and/or one subtraction from its contents.

The computer god is his brother-in-law and so an offense against the great one will result in xerox machines and computers alike spindling, folding and otherwise mutilating your print outs forevermore.

The washing machine god is also family, and any offense will result in not one sock but all socks disappearing forevermore.

You already know of the parking god and the compost god (compost happens!) but there is also the plumbing god and the major appliance god. Cell phones, iPods and MP3 players are represented by imps who report back to the computer god. For those of us who live in the south there is also the foundation god, who shares the earth with the basement god.

And don’t forget the homework god, a relatively minor deity in the pantheon but one able to wreak havoc by evaporating essays and mutilating math papers at will if you have offended him.

There is also Kasortsiob the Flying Sorcerer, who delights in simply irritating unbelievers at random, assigning them oddball rashes, dandruff, and respiratory allergies as the mood moves him.

However, the most powerful and most easily angered gods are two: one is USPS by name and the other IRS. If any mortal has offended either or both of these deities life will truly become Hell on Earth!

Where do ceiling cat and basement cat fit in?

@Darwin: I’m deep in the “compost,” I guess, since I have never been bowling except to take my kids to a party. Of course, in general, I’m deep in compost, since my compost heap lies beneath my porch, which has about a three foor clearance, and is filled with cobwebs between the floor supports.

Twice a year I crawl down there to commune with that god and conduct appropriate obeisances. It is an earthy time for me (though the labor is difficult). I am rewarded, usually, with beautiful blooms.

The homework god seems to confuse my son regularly. He hides my son’s homework, and instills a recalcitrance within my boy that can not even be moved by the dessert god.

Still, I am very, very concerned about this bowling god, with whom I have never become acquainted. I shy away from bowling alleys, as if they were the devil. Could we, perhaps, be of different religions?!?

@daloon – Perhaps you have the computer god firmly on your side – he can be mighty persuasive especially about frequent worshipers. However, it might not hurt to go bowling once in a while.

@Katawa… – All cats are creatures from another universe, outside of the purview of our gods. Some might argue that they are gods themselves because of their special powers and secret knowledge, but if so, then they are from a different pantheon because of their strange and unique powers. These include manipulation of gravity, the ability to send rays of light from their eyes at night, and super-sensitive hearing that can recognize the sound of a tuna can being opened from 6 dimensions distant.

Others suggest that they predate the other gods and that they may in fact have had a paw in the creation of the gods and in fact the entire universe (see “Men in Black” for some of these references). However, we may never know for sure since neither the cats nor the gods are speaking about it.

Your best bet is to worship all of them. Frequently.

@darwin: I am a cat worshiper, never you worry about that. I find the bowling god is satisfied with my annual pilgrimages and this may be why the computer god does not smite me. This may also be because the disciples of the computer god (computer science majors, computer nerds, etc.) tend to look quite favorably upon me. My experiences with the homework god have been good ones. Since I rarely study or start papers until the night before they are due, one would think I would have been smote down but I regularly do well on tests and get good grades on papers. Darwin, these gods of yours are merciful…

Also, I think there may have been some confusion. I was referring to these mighty deities:

http://drjon.livejournal.com/1085718.html

@Katawa – those are just two of the millions of cat gods. They are well-documented to be sure, but there are cat gods for every location and activity. For example:

computer cat: http://www.pullpush.net/images/computer-cat-3.jpg

Microsoft cat: http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/270909735_3d641143ff.jpg

sink cat: http://catsinsinks.com/

soccer cat: http://jmccormick.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/f-funny-cat-3539.jpg

The cat gods are everywhere. You may choose to worship a few, or you may choose to worship many. We worship eight specific cat gods in our house:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1167004&id=740911718

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1167048&id=740911718

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1167049&id=740911718

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1167050&id=740911718

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1183195&id=740911718

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1167056&id=740911718

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1167057&id=740911718

And Milo the Invisible (of whom there cannot be a picture).

Can’t do it. If I try it creates a sound like a fingernail scraping a blackboard in my head.

@Darwin: I cannot access the pictures. Perhaps these gods are too great for a humble mortal such as myself to look upon.

Or maybe it’s because I can’t look at your facebook pictures

@Katawa: That last picture in the link you posted baffled me. I had seen it before, but I had never seen it in relation to ceiling cat. I always thought it was Longcat vs. Tacgnol.

@Katawa – Sorry – those are supposed to be among the photos accessible to every Tom, Dick and Harry. Perhaps if you changed your name to one of those? [a very small joke]

I will have to check into my security settings.

Mr and Mrs Winky has a name.

You’ve just inspired me I’m gonna name my computer.
I know- I’ll name it…......Typey

I call my latest iMac iSis (the great mother); the last one was iRene (goddess of peace).

We have always named our vehicles; my 1995 black Altima is The Broom, and my husband’s 1983 Ford F-350 is Braveheart. A 1974 MG was McGee, and two ‘80s Subarus were Sue Bee and Liberace (it was an odd sparkly gold color). A 1983 Ford Tempo wagon was Agnes; she reminded me of a nun.

I generally name inanimate objects that are important to me because I tend to personify them. For instance my car is Haggis (Toyota Highlander Hybrid) because he is ‘thrifty’. My computer is Martin (MLK,jr) because he taught me to overcome. I suppose you get the point.

My cat has a name and he is pretty much inanimate these days, but I named him when he was animate so that might not count.

My daughter’s car is name Clair. My truck is named Fred. They live together in the driveway, but aren’t producing any offspring. Too bad! I could use a SmartCar or two.

My guitar’s name is Lucille.

Cheers.

B.B.

I’ve recently named my iPod “B.A.M.M.” which stands for Bad Ass Music Machine. And my MBP is named Rufus, because I like it.

@Allie That could be a great name for a wicked BASS heavy ipod, actually. Pitch it to Apple, maybe make some cash.

My teddy bear is named Terrence, but pine tree is named Lorcan, and my cactus is named Ethan. I name them because I consider them my pets sort of.

I am inclined to name things, but I don’t usually go through with it. So far, all that comes to mind of the things that I’ve named are my computer (Klaa-tu) and my dad’s (Nash-Metropolitan, after a funky old car that I’d seen that day).
My mom is more likely to actually name things. For instance, she’s the one that named the GPS (Tiziana). Sometimes we just go with what name she’s given them.

I have decided that I will eventually get a couple cats, which I will name Macron and Circumflex, and a goldfish that I can call Umlaut.