Do you have zombie plan?

Excellent question. Of course, my response would depend on developments as they occurred, but my final goal would be to lock myself up in a grocery store and to chain the doors closed. I still have to figure out what to do about all the glass, though…

Why fight? The resources available to the zombies will be much greater. I like to be on the winning side whenever possible.

Oh, I so have a zombie plan. Of course, it differs based on the various forms of zombies and spread of outbreak. I have a self-powered emergency radio/flashlight/siren thing so I would of course be listening to see if it was a world-wide zombie outbreak or a local thing. That’s where all the planning really starts: do I need to GTFO or hunker down somewhere? If local, GTFO, if non-local, hunker down. The next question is about the zombies: what exactly are they? Dead re-animated means they probably break down over time. Viral changed may not. Dead re-animated means go south. To really hot places. And for the love of god bring perfume or essential oils or SOMETHING. It’s gonna stink, but they’ll be gone after a while.

So I was writing out the really long, detailed zombie plan that I have in each instance and how I’ve figured out to get across town to my boyfriend and all sorts of other things when I realized: I’m going to get the baseball bat out of my boss’s office, go downstairs, get to the end of the block, go north a block and hang out in the building that if the ridiculous amount of Homeland Security means anything, is totally Obama’s office. Because that is my best chance.

Note to self: Update all Zombie plans based on President-Elect being in your city until Jan.

I’ve been thinking about my plan some more, and I’ve decided that rural is definitely the way to go. Somewhere big and wide and open. Somewhere it’d be difficult to get to unless you can drive (hundreds of movies indicate zombie’s cannot), and where people have a lot of guns. That way, you could farm and still be able to support yourself, with the lowest chance of infection.

And, @Empress, I pictured a legion of zombies slowly making their way to Obama HQ with signs that read, “Brains we can believe in!”

@tonedef: It’s so hard to see them in the fields though. You don’t hear them coming and bam! Instead of corn, you’ve got Zombie-attack central! (If you’ve played Left 4 Dead, you know what I’m talkin’ about.)

Does the out break have a root (like an original carrier zombie or something), or do the dead all over the world just start rising out of the ground? If it’s the prior, then I would probably be safe on the island I live on. If not, my grandparents have an old fallout shelter, and if i could make it to their house, we would be able to last quite a while in there.

I am going to Alaska! Because if zombies eventually make it there, they would freeze before they get to me, since they have no body heat. They would be Corpsesiccles!

Unfortunately, I don’t have one. I understand that zombies are a significant threat to my safety. Zombies could be anywhere. They could be coming across the borders. They could be carrying weapons of mass distruction. But you know what? I’m not all that worried.

Yes, I know that one-fifth of the national defense budget is spent on anti-zombie defence. I know that every city is developing an evacuation plan, in case of zombie attack. I know that there is a lot of money to be made in anti-zombie research. And I don’t care.

Because, you know what? I don’t think zombies are really all that much of a threat. Call me unAmerican, but it’s true. In fact, I think the amount of money spent preparing for zombie attacks—while not exactly wasted—those plans could be used in the event of a natural disaster, I suppose—but really, I think it’s money down the drain.

Why the lines at airports, as the naza (national anti-zombie administration) checks passengers for secret zombieism, are a waste of time. And my god! Trying to keep zombies from smuggling themselves in in container ships? What a colossal waste of time. What self-respecting zombie would be caught dead in a cargo container? Well, you have a point. Most zombies that are caught, are caught dead. Still, they don’t need to smuggle themselves in. You know why? IT’S BECAUSE THERE AREN’T ANY ZOMBIES!!!!!!!

Folks, we ought to tear NAZA down. That building is a monstrosity anyway. An abortion. No, wait. It’s a ZOMBIE! The building looks like a zombie, smells like a zombie, and even tastes like a zombie! Don’t ask.

If you ask me, and I’m sure you all are desperately dying to do so, but please don’t. We don’t need more zombie material to fan the flames. But if you ask me, I think the only zombies in this country, are the ones who run NAZA. Oh, and the ones living at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue!

NAZA has wasted enough taxpayer money with their outlandish zombie probes and manned-zombie missions!

Get intentionally infected and get it the hell over with.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gBRRxXNzkVw&client=mv-google&gl=US&hl=en

funny story actually…. as a joke my boyfriendmade and gave me an emergency zombie kit.
it contained things like a flashlight, and a hammer.. with an instruction sheet with a diagram on how one would go about decapitating a zombie with many suggested weapons; a recommendations never to split up, and to never use fire. With an angry picture of a burning zombie eating my head.
It was a good laugh, I suppose that’s what I will do.

Read a book.

Yes, I have a plan. But I am not telling anyone except my closest friends and family. Sorry guys, but I can’t save everyone.

Suicide.

Everyone knows zombies cannot walk up stairs so I would defintely camp out above ground level (where there is no elevator).

Lock myself in a Mall (with a supermarket) with a LOT of guns. When I mean a LOT, I mean a lot. Have you seen Congo (the gorilla movie), I want those perimeter guns. And I would want a mini-gun. I want mini-guns surrounding the Mall perimeter. Then would I go to the rooftop and enjoy shooting zombies. I will probably have a good time since I will have everything I need. And I will have teh internets and free wifi and the biggest widescreen TV in teh worlds.

You should also look into a lawnmower

@fool
I miss that lawnmower… it got clogged… the bowling ball was my fav. Strike!!!!

once I figured out if it was really happening I would figure one out.

Possibly the only time where I’d prefer to “shop” at Wal-mart.
Where else can you get groceries and guns?

Cruise ship. DUH.

But they don’t have to breathe. So the zombie pirates would be the worst. Just the worst. You’d blow half their bodies apart, and zombie arms would still be climbing up the side of the ship.