I--i have a strange man on my sofa that won't move.......what do i do???????????????????????????--?

Dial 911. If it’s truly a stranger, walk out of the house and call from a cell phone or a neighbor’s house.

You serious? A stranger in your house who refuses to leave? Call the police. Grab your son and go. Call from a safe location.

Set the sofa on fire?

If this is a joke, HA!

If this is real…do not panic. Walk out and dial 911.

THEN, get a video camera, cuz this is newsworthy!

I wanna see it!

What are you, a Silicoln Valley exec? Call 9–1-1!

The question would have been more effective if your whisper had posted properly.

After you get the strange man off you sofa…make sure you report back so we all know how it went down! Also document it if you can (but don’t anger random strange men that are on your sofa…if you don’t think he’ll be fond of the documentation maybe don’t!). But really, call 911 if you need to. When all has returned to normal, change your locks and let us know how it went.

Isn’t lynn from England? I don’t believe they have 911 there.

Call the coppers!

how strange is he? and why won’t your sofa move??

They probably have an emergency call line, but it won’t be 911. That’s why I said call the police.

It’s 999. I still think burning down the sofa would be faster.

HE’S IN THE TOILET.. NOT A toltal SYTRANGER….UT..STILL

And you haven’t called the police why….???

@lynneblundell Seriously. If you are serious and are worried about this guy, why on Earth are you on here and not on the phone?

@lynneblundell If he’s in the toilet, leave now!

@lynneblundell
Is this the infamous Cleveland Steamer?

holy motherfucking elluben shit

this is legit for youtube comedy. record this now!!!!!!

and tell us EXACTLY WHO THIS CREEPER IS. as in, not his name, but why is he there. Was there a party at your house that finished but he didn’t leave? Or is it…some theif.

Did he notice your presence?

Sounds like a bad date to me.

ok, now I’m nervous about this. @lynneblundell was crafting a response, now she is gone.

Should we all call over?

@VS
Nice misplaced modifier reference… a much nicer way to point out a grammatical reference in my book. If they can’t get your joke, they’ll never see the typo anyway. :)

hmmmm think that might be a troll on your sofa

It’s a joke.
No one gets on fluther when they have an emergency in their house. At worst they might I.M a friend. It’s like Ask.com-“I’m being stabbed, what should I do?”

To make sense of my comment.

@SeventhSense: Oh, you think that! But see my above Twitter story.

he’s gonre!!!
!

Who was he?

@lynneblundell
Did you flush him and remember to wash your hands?

Here she types the worthy response we’ve all been waiting for! :P

sorry guys…..
just had a bit of a freaky moment there…you know when you see a male frien

The SUSPENSE of it all is killing me! Who was he???

Do we have ourselves a case of drunk fluthering?

lol @jonsblond

Can we have the whole story?

@EmpressPixie
That guy in the video was pretty whacked. Sad story and he obviously needed some kind of help.

@SeventhSense: The guy who broke in probably needed help, but I would argue that the COO needs more. When someone breaks in, you call 9–1-1. You don’t Twitter about it, video it, and ignore everyone’s advice to call 9–1-1.

I know right

@EmpressPixie That is so fucking weird. I never heard about that. Who let’s that happen??? I’d be so scared.

I do hope this is a drunken fluthering. I tend to smoke then come on, and then i read my answers the next day.. praying no one notices them. lol

Poke him with a stick. Is he alive?

My sofa doesn’t move either…..if it has a man on it or not!

…and @lynneblundell‘s last comment got cut off. Can richardhenry figure out where she is and contact her or her local constabulary?

Lynne… are you ok? Please let us know!

Oh boy. I hope she’s OK.

Me, too. I’m kinda’ freaking out right now.

It was cut off, but she did have time to click the Answer button.

@Jeruba: Good point.

I hope this is just a case of drunk Fluthering as Jonsblond said.

@Jeruba – Yes, that’s true. I hope that portends well.

Oh, dear. :/

I sincerely hope she’s not in trouble, and I’m a bit worried too, but I think the odds are this is being staged for some kind of effect. If you’re really in danger, I don’t think you have time to type that many question marks
???????????????????????????
and that many P’s.
helpPPPPPPPPPP

This isn’t funny. I’m seriously worried now.

Is this for real?

I don’t think it’s like lynne to play a practical joke. Drunken Fluthering maybe… but not a stunt.

She said he’s gone..

I don’t think she would think letting people worry about her is funny, but I can’t see her taking the time to fluther if a stranger was in the house. I hope it’s drunken fluthering….

I’m likely to say it’s drunken fluthering, but we should pay attention anyways. If she hasn’t returned to Fluther in 24 hours to update us/let us know she’s okay…we can begin really panicking and try and decide if there is anything we can do. I think we should give it time to pan out and see if it’s just drunk fluthering before we go into full-on panic mode though.

wow this is freaky

but if something did happen to her

what would we do

Does anyone here know her in real life? Maybe if someone does they could call her.
If someone really was in her house and wanted to hurt her, it’s already done. I hate to say it but we really can’t help.
I’m sure there will be a good answer tomorrow.

I’m back two hours later and no update?! I’m praying she’s okay.

Lynne, I don’t know you, but I’m certain no one on here will be terribly upset if you just pop on and tell us you’re okay. If it was a joke, we can handle it.

What’s the time where she lives???

I just checked the chat room to see if anybody there knows if she has any real-life friends on here, and a couple of people said they think this is a joke.

After watching the videos about the guy who wandered into someone’s apartment and crashed on his bed, I am wondering.

@SpatzieLover shes in the UK right? 439am

@uberbatman thanks. I think so

are they dead? 7:16am

thanks all for your concern he did go in the end!! just couldn’t get rid!!! bloody men!!!

and very sorry for getting you all so worried… i did say up there ^^^^ that he had left. He was a guy that i used to know in the pub i used to drink in… I was coming back from my parents and he was walking past my house so i had invited him in for a coffee (not thinking he would actually come in!) but anyway he did… It was fine until i realised that despite various hints he wasn’t for moving…(and i begun to get a little bit worried and paranoid…) but eventually i just said “look, i need to get to bed so i’m gonna have to kick you out I’m afraid”.... wish i’d said that sooner!!

really really really sorry for getting you all so worried…I wouldn’t dream of playing a joke like that as has been suggested! that certainly wouldn’t be funny… off to hide in a corner now…

Glad you’re okay, lynne! Gave us a bit of a turn.

can’t apologise enough…i really didn’t think people would be that worried… :-( sorry all

We’d all be over there to protect you in a heartbeat, if we could.

thank you…you’re all very sweet… i do feel rather bad though about causing such a commotion

Well that’s good news. Was afraid you’d end up a headline. Glad everything’s OK.

Well thats good to hear.

I’m glad everything is ok :-)

It’s ok, Lynne, now that you’re all right. You did shout for help, and I think everyone’s programmed to treat that seriously unless they can see the situation and pick up clues that it’s all in fun. In your case—well, it seems to have been something in between.

I’m afraid it’s a mark of the times that we found it so easy to imagine something terrible happening to you on account of an intrusive stranger while you were typing at your computer.

Whew!

@augustlan – DITTO!

I keep missing all the good threads. Glad you’re okay and all. :)

First of all, GIT OFF THE COMPUTER!!!

Is he still there???