How do you dump a guy for no good reason?

From the perspective of someone who is five foot six inches tall I feel your first sentence was spot on.

Just tell him you’re not interested. Don’t mention his height though. You don’t wanna completely crush the poor guy.
I don’t date short guys either

Don’t mention his height. Next time he askes you out, just tell him you’re not interested in dating at the moment.

Passing up a sweet, athletic, medical student because he’s a little shorter than you.

Yeah, that sounds reasonable.

if I was a little old Jewish grandmother, I’d plotz

@AstroChuck I’m 5’2, so to me you are tall.

…having dated much taller- it worked because of the chemistry many times… unless there is an ultimatum pending, i, personally, wouldn’t worry about it- friends are nice to have even if it is not going towards a growing intimacy… good luck whatever you do…

Just tell him you’re sorry but “there’s no chemistry there” then offer to be friends.

It is a little shallow but we can’t always control who we’re attracted to. I’ve met a lot of great guys who were blond, and for some reason, it just doesn’t do it for me like dark-haired men do..

Tell him that it isn’t him, it is you. But before you let a sweet, attractive, athletic, med student with a hotttt accent go just because you are taller than he is, maybe you should check yourself. Honestly, read your first sentence again and give it some serious thought.

My man is 6’4”, but I would never know because I’ve never seen him stand. There are many, many things more important than height.

@figbash I was always into dark haired men and never dated blondes.. til I met my ex-husband.

Come on guys…. You can’t help who you are or aren’t attracted to.

And, a hot accent might go a long way in over looking his height.

I am a little (well, 5” 7”) old Jewish grandmother, and I AM plotzing. A Doctor and you should worry about a few inches? Bist meshugeh?

You don’t really owe anyone an explanation. If you don’t want to be with him, make that known. Your line can be something as simple, and true, as, “I’m no longer comfortable with our relationship. It’s time for me to be on my own.” Not a lie, but clear, and not placing blame.

wow…..not to be mean…but that is such a wrong reason to dump him. I think if you like him and he likes you height shouldn’t be a problem. And if you really are going to break up with him for that reason then be HONEST. Not trying to put the other comments down, but lying is the worst way out of a relationship. Plus, wouldn’t you want to know the truth about something?

@Comedian I agree with you on honesty, but to say something like “I don’t want to date you because you are short” could really hurt him.
It’s not like he can fix this issue like hair color or weight. I don’t think that would be a good way to go in this case.

@Comedian, in this case what good would come out of this guy knowing he doesn’t have a chance with this girl because of his height? It doesn’t really matter, does it?

@Chyna and gimmie: Well I mean don’t be blunt about it but also don’t lie about it

@Comedian She doesn’t have to lie about it. But she doesn’t have to tell him that it’s his height either.

I know, that is what i just said. And she should avoid the subject. If she doesn’t want to go out with him she should just say no

How do you dump a guy for no good reason?

You don’t. That’s mean, plain and simple. If you’re going to dump someone, at least have a good reason or purpose for doing it. After that, follow the good advice that others have already posted here.

@Comedian Oh, okay, I misunderstood.

@chyna: no worries. It was a bit of a sketchy answer I put. I see where you’re coming from

I’m with @ahankes. You’re not supposed to be attracted to everyone. This guy isn’t her person. If he was, three inches wouldn’t bother her, no matter where they were missing.

@Bluefreedom She does have a reason; He’s too short. I’m sure plenty of you guys have rejected a girl because she was too fat or blond or something. Give the girl a break.

@Facade. Yeah, I’m being way too harsh with that nefarious answer of mine. What was I thinking???~

Now, now. Let’s answer the girls question and please not fight.

I think you should go ahead and dump him, freeing him up for somebody who will adore him and make him feel ten feet tall and not always have whispering in her inner ear ”(But he’s so short!”). He deserves that.

As for how to do it, most any method that isn’t downright cruel will do since the point is to separate yourself from him and not leave him hanging. Just say “I’m sorry, but this isn’t working out for me.” (I personally would never insult a guy by adding “Can’t we just be friends?”)

I do remember reading the story of one guy who had fallen for a statuesque woman who kindly discouraged his intentions by taking it on herself and saying, “I’m too tall for you.”

I am surprised at the judgemental tone against lisaj, the shallow part that I see here is people saying hang onto him because he is a med student, etc. etc.. I personally want to be with someone to whom I have a more meaningful connection than his occupation or looks.

This reminds me of the film “Full Monty” when the fat ugly guy says a beautiful woman is not his type because her breasts were too big. Men reject women because they are not sexy enough, don’t dress the right way. This woman is following her biological predelection to find a big strong man who can protect and care for her…................

How tall are you, @lisaj89? Unless you’re six feet tall or something, I might want this guy’s number. Short guys are the best! [high five to @AstroChuck]

I think @nikipedia has hit the nail on the head here. If he was the right guy for you, you really wouldn’t care about his height.

As for how to break it off, perhaps I am missing something, but I don’t see where you are actually in a relationship with him. You are just texting, correct? If that’s the case, don’t lead him on – but if he does ask you out again, just let him know you don’t feel any chemistry with him.

I agree with rooeytoo and forgot to mention that it my post – holding on to him ‘because he’s a doctor’ isn’t too awesome either.

The bottom line is if you’re not attracted to anyone for any reason, just let them go without making them feel badly about it. If you were really into him, you may not even care about his height. You’re not into him, and I suspect it’s for more reasons than height. If this guy is as you describe, he’s going to have no problem finding someone who’s gonna love the hell out of him, and think he’s the foxiest thing on the planet, irrespective of height.

@MacBean: Wouldn’t that be a low five?

You honestly don’t deserve him. How about you read this question to him, and he’ll do all the work for you.
He’ll run away just as fast as his little legs can carry him to a girl who will appreciate him.

In all honesty though, don’t crush the boy because you have issues, tell him you don’t like him that way and move on. He doesn’t deserve to have something negative (in your eyes) brought up to him because you have a problem with a few inches.

Three inches? Are you kidding me, you make it sound like he’s a whole foot shorter than you. I mean really lets see: Brains…check, awesome body…check, good personality…check, sweet…check, probably good in bed…check, whats the problem here? Yea you don’t deserve him, so just tell him your not interested and get out of his life so he can find someone better than you.

you all are ridiculous

Ok. Just read this as if it is dripping with disdain.

You’re not worried about his feelings when you dump him. You’re worried about yours. You don’t want your friends to know how shallow you are.

Don’t worry about it. You’re shallow, and that’s who you are. I hope you find some nice airhead tall guy, who will treat you the way you deserve.

So tell him he’s short. He’ll understand that it really isn’t him. It’s you. His feelings won’t be hurt. Anyone with a tenth of a brain will know it would be a waste of time to be with you. He’ll know he’s dodged a bullet. You’re really doing him the biggest favor you can by being honest.

Of course, you won’t be. You don’t want it to get out that that’s your criteria for a guy. Actually, I doubt if your friends will care, either. They are all about as shallow as you are. They have to be, or they couldn’t be your friend.

Ok, here’s something in your favor. It is your biology that urges you to find a tall guy. Tall people do better in our society. They are smarter, and have more power, and make more money. On average, anyway. You’re just doing what your genes are telling you to do, and clearly you don’t have the willpower to override your instincts.

Yeah. I’m a short guy. Fat, too. Ugly, as well. My looks were made for the internet. Oh yeah. My wife is taller than I am. Just about three inches. She handles it just fine.

@Facade Who all is ridiculous? All of us that made a comment? I made a couple of good comments that did not critisize anyone, just made some suggestions to break off gently with the guy.

@chyna The people shaming her for not wanting to date a short guy.

When are women going to get it? There is nos such thing as breaking something off gently. The only reason you want to do it gently, is because you don’t want the guy to think badly of you. Get some balls, already! Just be honest. Please? Don’t string things out, trying to be nice. It doesn’t help you or the guy.

I’m short too (about 5’4”) and honestly, I find it strange that I short guy would expect a tall girl (1 or more inches taller) to like him. I’ve been in love with tall girls, but I didn’t expect them to reciprocate, because, in general, girls just DO NOT LIKE shorter men. It’s almost a law of nature :)

Is he below average height or just shorter than you? If he were 5’9” and you were 6’2”, then he’ll have no trouble finding another girl. Either way, it’s not your problem. Feeling sorry for him and letting him down easy is only going to make it harder for him to come to terms with reality. The last response that @daloon gave was spot on.

@daloon Seriously? You would want to hear ” I don’t want to go out because you are short and fat.”

OP – You have a good reason: you’re not attracted to him. That’s all the reason you need.

How? Just keep it simple, something like, “I’m sorry but I don’t feel the same way about you,” or, “I’m sorry but I’m not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you.”

Ignore most of these responses. You have no obligation to date someone you’re not completely interested in. That’s just ridiculous. I have no idea why people feel capable of judging you and your entire life and personality based on the fact that gee, you don’t want to date someone you’re not attracted to. Whatever.

@chyna he may not like it, but it’s the truth and everyone needs the confidence to deal with their shortcomings head-on. From experience, people being ‘nice’ about my shortcomings is even more insulting in the long run

I am really surprised at these answers. Are you all saying that you would go out with anyone, regardless of how they looked if they were a med student and nice. I thought everyone decides who they go out with based on they find attractive or desireable. Women don’t date men with shaved heads or men won’t date fat women and the list goes on.

The chemistry has to be there to have a relationship. And if it isn’t and that is what one or the other wants, then it seems cruel to string someone along.

I would much rather hear “I don’t want to be in a relationship because you’re short” than “I am not comfortable with our relationship”. The first would make me think that you are a bitch (even if you are not), and I wouldn’t care, knowing that there are plenty of non-bitches in the world, while the second would make me feel as though I had put you off or creeped you out, and I would worry that there was something wrong with me- and of course, since there isn’t, I would be left wondering what it is, which would be a terrible blow to my self-confidence. It’s much worse to think that there is something wrong with your personality than to know that some people don’t like the way you look. So, if you care about his well-being, be honest.

Did anyone read the question? She’s not even dating the dude.
I don’t see what the big deal is, you’re not dating or hooking up…so how can you dump him? Just tell him no when he asks you out, simple as that.

And my husband is a little shorter than me, a little less than 5’6. Like others said, if he were the right guy for you, height wouldn’t matter. I never imagined myself with a short guy…I don’t think I even notice that we’re the same height, to be honest. But, I think it’s a shame you are judging on height. I would have missed out on my fantastic husband if I decided he was too short for me.

@cprevite—Chuck’s still taller than me, so it’d be a high five to us!

@rooeytoo—“Are you all saying that you would go out with anyone, regardless of how they looked if they were a med student and nice. I thought everyone decides who they go out with based on they find attractive or desireable.”

Maybe I’m crazy, but I find “sweet, smart, athletic, with a hot accent” more attractive and desirable than “tall.” If I could find just “sweet and smart” together with “respectful” I’d date a dwarf with horribly disfiguring scars over a pretty face that didn’t have those qualities underneath.

As @casheroo says, when he asks, just say no, thank you. If he asks for elaboration simply say that you would rather stay friends.

I must admit, though, I am 5’ 8” and I dated very seriously a guy who was 5’ 3” and who loved it when I wore heels. I must admit that he wasn’t a med student but he was “sweet, smart, athletic, with a hot accent” and really cute.

And my husband was one inch taller than I when we married and is now about three inches shorter but he is still the same guy I fell in love with.

I suspect that as you mature you will discover that height doesn’t matter as much as some other characteristics.

Thanks for all the responses! I guess I’m not dumping anybody, I just don’t want him to get the wrong idea. I would like to be friends with him because he is nice to talk to. However, I don’t want him to think we are “talking” as in like moving towards dating.
I agree with the many of you who said if he were really the one for me, height wouldn’t matter. That’s very true. I’m 5’ 10” and I can only guess he’s about 5’ 7”. I can’t explain it, it’s just weird for me. I just really don’t want to hurt his feelings.
By the way Daloon, I am not a shallow person in general and neither are my friends. I am sorry that you are short but don’t take it out on me. That’s between you and mother nature. And yes, this guy does deserve someone great, other than myself.

@lisaj89: I’m tall, too. I know where you’re coming from, and it seems like some of the others do to. The ones that criticized you, don’t worry about them.We all have our own issues. None of us is perfect. I’m sure you’ll figure out the right thing to do in the end, and even if you don’t, you’ll learn something from it. And that’s all we can really ask from our lives.

Maybe the first step could be to erase the verb ‘to dump’ from your vocabulary (in the context of relationships). This guy is a human being and his feelings might get hurt as you rightly point out. I think it’s great to come to Fluther and ask for advice. The second step is could be telling him that from your point of view being friends does not necessarily mean dating. The guy must understand that it would be foolish to have great expectations. I would use the verb ‘to clarify the level of a relationship’ (instead of to dump) when brainstorming about a strategy explaining this to him.

@AstroChuck: If you and I break up, it will not be due to the one inch difference. In ten years I’ll be your height, but then you’d probably be 5 ‘5”.

@daloon: When are women going to get it? There is nos such thing as breaking something off gently.

Really? Women are the only ones who have a problem with this?

Why are you hating on this girl for not being attracted to this guy? Why is it unacceptable for her not to be attracted to this one person!?

@nikipedia—“Women are the only ones who have a problem with this?” No, but at least in my experience, they’re the ones who have a problem with it more often. Women often seem to be more concerned with being nice than with being honest. “It’s not you, it’s me.” “I’m not looking for a relationship right now.” “Maybe if the circumstances were different…” “We can still be friends!” Whereas men are more likely to say “I’m just not into you.” or “I can’t stand the way you [insert whatever his problem is].” Again, that’s just from the personal observations of one person, and maybe I just hang out with a lot of backward people, but… probably not.

And as for “Why are you hating on this girl for not being attracted to this guy?” Because it seems like she’s saying she is attracted to him—he’s smart and sweet and athletic and his accent is hot!—but this one small and completely arbitrary physical thing that he can’t help totally negates all of the good stuff.

Don’t look at it as dumping him since you say you two aren’t really talking in the way dating couples do, just be clear you are comfortable with the friendship but don’t feel it could be more than that. I’m definitely with the others in not giving height as a reason, you shouldn’t have to give a specific reason other than gut feeling aka not feeling it. I know several shorter than average men who are very aware their height is an issue for many women they meet, they’re aren’t in the dark, they know or suspect it’s going to be a deal breaking possibility but they still don’t want to hear it directly which I think is fair enough.

I don’t get it, @lisaj89. You say you don’t want to “talk” as if you’re moving to a relationship? I guess you don’t have any control over the conversations? I’m sorry, but you sound like a controlling person who is imagining things that may or may not come true. You’ve got your future planned, and that’s fine. Just trust your controlling nature, and you’ll do find.

A question like this is just asking for bombast and exageration. I couldn’t resist. You can’t take it personally because I don’t know you, except from the question you ask, and it is well known that people can get all kinds of weird impressions from questions.

@nikipedia, I may be “hating on” but I didn’t feel that way. I was just feeling in high dudgeon. Which is a fun place to be. Especially since this is a pretty silly question, at least, as far as I’m concerned. And, you gotta admit, it’s been an extremely slow weekend. I haven’t had any new questions for me this weekend, and I am most definitely not feeling the love.

And Chyna: yup. Please don’t think you know me better than I know me. Just tell the truth. Don’t try to be “nice.” As I said, you want to be nice not for the guy, but because you don’t want to think of yourself as a bad person. Tough noogies. Man up, and tell the truth.

In this particular case, it’s only a theoretical question, anyway, so none of the answers mean much. Lisa is certainly capable of saying no thanks should this dude ask. No explanation is necessary. If he asks, you can tell him because he’s short. He deserves it for asking.

She could say “I don’t want to ruin our friendship,” and every guy knows what that means. It’s the same as “I just want to be friends.” It means you’re not into us that way. Doesn’t matter what the reason is. If a guy is like me, that’s the kiss of death to the relationship. Maybe other guys can be “friends.” Not me. Not once I’ve indicated I want more. There’s too much tension after that.

So, tell the truth. Don’t ask hypothetical questions without labeling them as such. And know that if I think something is silly, I’m gonna tee off on it. Life’s too short to try to pull punches on something like this.

@daloon When she said “talk,” she didn’t mean a convo. It’s somewhat of a slang term used to describe the point two people are at before they start to date (If you didn’t know)

@ daloon – You are being completely inappropriate. A “controlling person?” You need to lay off, and get some therapy to deal with the immense amount of bitterness, resentment and anger you must feel. Seriously, you should be really embarrassed right now at how much you’re over-reacting. It’s one thing to state an opinion, even a negative one. It’s another thing to make personal attacks.

daloon, I have a future planned? Uh…no, that’s what I’m attempting to avoid if you did not read the question. You may not realize it but we can tell when y’all are talking to us as friends as opposed to talking to us with intent for something else. We’re just good like that, and y’all are pretty easy to read most of the time. When the conversation ends with….“so, what are you doing later tonight”...um, I’m pretty sure I’m not imagining things here. Yes, actually you read me, I am a controlling person, that’s not a bad thing. That’s why I can say that I am where I am now. I have taken control of my life and am going where I want to go without any body’s help. I’m really sorry that you guys can’t be friends with girls once you feel something more for her. You sound bitter about it like we have something against y’all if we just want to be friends. We can’t have feelings toward every guy we meet, that wouldn’t work. You’re really missing out on some great friends. If you guys are talking, then obviously you have something in common, so why not actually be friends?

Most of us aren’t all that much into masochism.

This whole thing is so ridiculous. I would venture to say that practically everyone has parameters when choosing another person to spend time with. I don’t think it is an accident that Brad Pitt is not with Ugly Betty but I don’t hear anyone criticizing him for it. I am short and no one is ever going to ask me to be in a magazine, clothed or not and I am pretty damned sure that a lot of males who liked me as a friend did not date me because of that. I would wager that if I were tall and slim and blond and sexy and into clothes that call out to males, I would have had a lot more dating opportunities from these “friends.”

It is just the way it is, if lisa chooses not to go out with this guy because he is short, so what??? Short people often do have hangups about their height, I know I always wished I were taller and it has to be worse for a man, statistics prove it.

So lisa, next time don’t ask for advice, just follow your heart, if you like him date him if you don’t for whatever reason, just say no thanks. I think you put yourself out there when you asked the question, but I still defend your right to go out with anyone you want!

This was what got lisa into trouble. “I know I am going to sound completely shallow for saying this, but here is goes.” Since she has already fessed up, it is difficult not to agree with her self-appraisal.

@gailcalled – I wondered why she would consider that shallow? Isn’t that the way the world works? What if she would have said he was fat or stupid or ugly or the wrong religion or race, would that have elicited a different reply, made it somehow more acceptable? What would have been a satisfactory reason for not wanting to go out with the guy?

I also found it intriguing that because this guy is a med student it somehow makes it more shallow or stupid. I used to work in a safe house for women and there were plenty of docs’ wives sought protection there, so why should that make a difference? Again would it have been okay if he had been a plumber or a garbage man?

Is it an inherent obligation to go out with everyone who asks you? Should you go out one time even if you know there is something missing and then tell them no more, is that better than just saying no up front?

I have been out of the dating market for a long time, maybe the rules have changed, maybe Brad Pitt would ask me out if we met today, hehehehe especially if I told him I was a med student!

@rooeytoo:I have no idea what made her write that. If she had edited the question and couched it a little differently, I wager she might have gotten very different answers.

I wrote that he is in medical school to show that he is very intelligent. I was simply saying, Hey! this guy is really great, is it weird to call it quits ‘cause he is shorter than me?
Actually I tend to date more blue collar guys rather than the successful ones. I think it comes from my dad having years of affairs and thinking if he had an occupation that did not put him out there as much, maybe he wouldn’t have done it. I could really care less about how much money this guy will make in the future, I just put it out there to show he is smart and dedicated.

I wondered why she would consider that shallow?

Because it is.

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What if she would have said he was fat or stupid or ugly or the wrong religion or race, would that have elicited a different reply, made it somehow more acceptable? What would have been a satisfactory reason for not wanting to go out with the guy?

If all the other things she described were still there… If he were fat instead of athletic and that was the reason for not dating him, that’d be shallow. If he were stupid instead of smart… well, it depends on the intelligence level of the person who’s doing the choosing. You have to be able to hold a conversation with a person. Not dating someone because of differences in ideology isn’t shallow, either. If you can’t agree on things, the relationship isn’t going to be able to go anywhere positive. And not dating based on race is… racist.

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I used to work in a safe house for women and there were plenty of docs’ wives sought protection there, so why should that make a difference?

I’ll give you that one. Sort of. It really doesn’t make a difference what kind of job he has. She said he’s sweet, though, so I don’t know how abuse became a topic, and med school was what she used to indicate that he’s smart. If the guy was an intelligent plumber or garbage man, it’d be just as stupid to turn him down only beacuse he’s short.

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Is it an inherent obligation to go out with everyone who asks you? Should you go out one time even if you know there is something missing and then tell them no more, is that better than just saying no up front?

I think basically everyone said to say no up front and not to lead him on. Some of us think she’s crazy for turning down someone who she described as sounding like quite a catch based on something that should honestly make no difference, especially considering all the great things she had to say about him. But I don’t think anybody’s actually pushing her to date someone she’s not attracted to. Because, honestly, you can’t help who you’re attracted to. Some people are just naturally shallow.

I guess I am one of the naturally shallow ones then because here is how I see it and this is what works for me. When I meet someone I usually can tell within a few minutes of conversation whether this is someone I want to know better. I can’t tell you exactly what this is based on, it is like a gut feeling and it has rarely proved to be wrong. So I think it would be shallow to enter into a friendship with a person who gives me a negative gut feeling or who doesn’t ring my chimes just because they are cute or smart or wealthy or have a desireable career.

So I guess I just projected that feeling into this question. I just assumed she didn’t have a good feeling about the guy or his height would not have been a deterrent. I read between the lines so to speak whereas you all took her literally.

But just out of curiosity, there was a question not long ago about what attracts you to a person and people were saying things like good teeth or nice butt and whatever. So if your criteria includes good teeth and a guy or a girl has rotten teeth or false teeth or bad breath or a saggy butt, but is otherwise a nice person, would you be shallow to not go out with them? Where does personal preference stop and shallowness begin. Maybe I should start a new thread and ask that question specifically.

Please don’t think I am trying to be argumentative, this has truly piqued my interest and makes me question my own motives. I have never considered myself racist, completely the opposite but there are races I would not have a relationship with or date because the cultural differences are too overwhelming. That is a generalization and perhaps could prove to be incorrect in another time or context. That said, I would be and am friends with people from the same racial group.

She does not need to defend her decision not to go out with the guy. Of course that is up to her. But look what she came here to ask: not “Should I go out with this guy who is great in all respects but height?” but “How do I get rid of a guy who is great in all respects but height?” I don’t see how anyone can attempt to answer the question without thinking about what that means. I truly think that there’s no point in arguing with her feelings. Instead she should just discourage his further attentions and let him go.

@rooeytoo
I can usually tell within a few minutes of conversation whether I want to know someone better or not, too. And I can tell you what it’s based on: the level of intelligence they display, their sense of humor, how they speak to/about others, etc. Those are the things that give me a positive or negative gut feeling about someone. Not if they’re three inches shorter than me or if they’re forty pounds overweight or if there’s a gap in their teeth or if their nose is off center. I mean, a lot of the people I like best are downright ugly if I take a subjective look at them.

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But just out of curiosity, there was a question not long ago about what attracts you to a person and people were saying things like good teeth or nice butt and whatever.

It really depends on the person’s motives, I think. Speaking entirely for myself here (because I’ve been doing much more projecting and speaking for others and generalizing in my answers to this question than is usually my style) there’s a difference between what attracts me to a person and what attracts me to a body. If you ask me what attracts me to a person, I’ll tell you open-mindedness, a sense of humor, creativity, honesty and intelligence are the top five things. They’re the must-haves. I’m a sucker for brown eyes, but that doesn’t mean I won’t date someone who has blue eyes. I like people to have a few extra pounds, but that doesn’t mean I won’t date someone who’s skinny. I like people—guys especially—who are short, but that doesn’t mean I won’t date someone who’s tall. If I give answers like good teeth or a nice butt, I’m not describing what attracts me to a person. I’m describing what I like to look at. Human being are, in my opinion, interesting and pretty things to look at, and I very much like to. I’m especially fond of butts. If I’m just looking for someone to have a little fun with, a nice butt would be important. But if I’m looking for someone to date, someone with whom I might be with for a long time, possibly forever, a nice butt would just be an added bonus. Because no matter how nice that butt is now, in time it’s not gonna be so great. And then you’ll want someone whose personality makes you happy.

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…there are races I would not have a relationship with or date because the cultural differences are too overwhelming.

I think we’re just using different words here. In my last answer, I said I didn’t think not dating someone because of differences in ideologies was shallow because if you can’t agree on things like religion and politics and other culturally-influenced things, the relationship is probably pretty much doomed. I get the feeling that’s more what you’re talking about here, am I right? Like… let’s say you meet someone who is very deeply into Japanese culture and that just doesn’t gel with your lifestyle. It wouldn’t matter if they really had Japanese ancestry or if they were some other race and just loved and chose to follow the ways of that culture, would it? You’re not just saying, “Oh my God, slanty eyes, ew!” or something like that.

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Annnnnd… I hope this makes some sort of sense to someone other than me, because it’s almost 4 AM and I’ve been up since 6 AM yesterday…

Look I am a guy and I have realized that we are all to some degree selfish and shallow. I want a girl that I am physically attracted to as well as personality. I think it is wrong to be long term and to break it off just becasue you want someone new but even the people who accuse others of being shallow have criteria that could be considered shallow…... I haave been hurt and have hurt others. The point is if it is not there it is not there. I have been blown off for a couple of reasons. Yeah my ego was hurt and I thought the girl was a shallow witch but honestly looking at myself I am just as bad. It is the way the world it. The most important thing, and I hope you follow this is to be frank. I don’t want to be with you and we can only be friends. Make it clear and to the point and its all the quicker he will move on. Unless not unlike many others you like the ego boost and the attention and then you will leave a half open door. Just cut him off and let him move on.

@MacBean I hope this makes some sort of sense to someone other than me
believe me, it makes perfect sense :) Thank you