What is the first question people have on their minds when they wake up?

how do i get rid of this boner?

“what time is it?”

Where is coffee

in that order.

Am I dead yet?

I wonder what new questions are there on fluther?

My mind is playing a test pattern till I can get that first sip of coffee.

“Do I have enough sick time accrued to not go to work today?”

“I can totally get ready for work in 3 minutes, right?”

What do I have planned today?

“WHAT IS THAT NOISE AND HOW CAN I MAKE IT STOP?!?” as my alarm clock wails in the background

Which way to the toilet? Can I do it with eyes shut?

Maybe if I don’t move my husband will get up with whatever kid is babbling next to the bed…

Oatmeal, Yogurt or Egg?

@Likeradar oh my gosh, that was so me today. I woke up at 5:20, and have a 15 minute drive to work. No time to really get ready at all lol

@missausten I do that as well. I pretend I’m sleeping. I think he knows my secret though lol

@hungryhungryhortence
Let me answer that one for you. Oatmeal AND eggs. :)
Complex carbohydrates and protein for the win.
Though yoghurt is healthy too.

It’s morning already?

@casheroo I have a carefully orchestrated 40-minute morning routine. Every morning I lay in bed thinking “If I don’t straighten my hair I can sleep 15 more min… if I don’t check my email before work that’s 5 minutes…” It doesn’t take long to get to “if I don’t shower or put on deodorant…”

@MissAusten Trust me- playing dead will not work.

@hungryhungryhortence Hey, what a coincidence: I had all three this morning! Oatmeal with thick, Turkish yogurt on top, sprinkled with fresh gooseberries, with a side of hard boiled egg and kiwi. Mmmmm!!

where the hell am i? what the fuck happened here last night?

I’m with @jackfright, “What time is it?”

@Likeradar if you don’t get up at all you don’t have to do anything. ;)

@eponymoushipster But then eventually I’ll be not getting up at all in a homeless shelter. :(

Shall I have a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast?

@Likeradar true. but the showers there are so much more fun.

“Where am I? And who the hell is next to me?”

What are the consequences for staying in bed today?

What? Hunh?? Grrr, kill, maim, destroy, kill, maim, destroy, kill, maim…oooh coffee? Mmmm, ahhh yeah that’s better. What a good day it’s going to be.

[Weekday]
Can I make myself get up and go to work one more time?

[Weekend]
Which is going to hurt more, lying here a little longer or getting up?

Sounds grim, I know. But this is going to change soon…

“What shall I do today?” Followed quickly by “What must I do today?”

huh?

When I first wake up I am not thinking in terms of words.

Can I sleep for just a little longer, please God? Whether it’s the first alarm, or the seventh snooze.

“What the hell kind of dream was that?”

@shrubbery, my answer to that is always “We were in some kind of place…”

@Jeruba, haha that’s exactly it! “and like… you were there, but you weren’t you… and I was there… but I wasn’t me… and we like… did all this stuff…”

”...and it was really weird.”

^^Every dream I’ve ever had.

“How long will it take for this rash to go away and what caused it?”

Where’d I put my glasses?

You people think way too much. I don’t have any questions in the morning, no thinkin’ involved.

“what should i wear” or “what time is it”

can i let myself push the snooze button again?