Please help. I am terrified of High School. What should I do?

I’m sure you’re not the only one feeling this way getting into high school, I’m sure there are a lot of other people feeling the same way you do so I wouldn’t worry too much about it, and besides, it’s just another school so don’t get worried :)

Well I I’m going to be a sophomore this year. Freshman year is cool, don’t believe those steriotypes and stuff, high school is like middle school. Just be yourself and yes older kids will be there but hey, you might make friends with them. And I’m not sure there was bullies.

I think everybody goes through those nervous times when you’re starting something new. It’s completely normal for you to be feeling that way and just like @applesaucemanny said, you’re probably not the only one feeling this way. Just take it easy and remember this too will pass. Life goes on and you’ll probably love high school once you get the hang of it.

Thanks guys. I was excpecting a response like that though. When I was in elementary I wasn’t really close friends with people and sort of just blended in. I just had small talk from time to time. I’m just scared starting over in a new school will be worse. I wasn’t really considered a loser but I didn’t really relate or fit in with many. Actually i was considered “cool” just because of the people I stood around but nobody really wanted to be good friends with me. I don’t know what to do.

update and being cool isn’t my goal though it would be nice. I just want to have lots of friends and survive high school

@jambon_777 Enjoy your High School years. Don’t worry about being cool. Do things you enjoy. If you don’t like sports then maybe try band, or choir, or drama. When I was in high school I did a lot of fun things and those are the things I remember. I remember being in musical theater and the drumline. Most of my close friends are people that I met doing these activities. Just get involved in something that really moves you and you’ll have your own little click before you know it.

Ah high school, I remember it well. I may not the best person to talk to as I didn’t exactly experience much judgment from anyone (although some) and I was a member of the “popular kids”. (Simple fact. That’s what other people called us because we were well-known, we knew people at other schools, and we partied hardy). Oh, but I heard things about our group sometimes and they weren’t always positive. However, I do know that people overblow high school all the time. Don’t stress about it, what others said is true, there are plenty of others who are feeling the same way you are right now.

I moved to a different school (middle school, albeit) after already having a bunch of friends and I knew no one at the school. I felt awkward as hell. I also had to deal with being the smallest person in the whole school and having a voice like a little girl’s. But all it took was some talking to other people. Of course, they had to be interested in me as well, but I just found people I liked and really, I’ve been with that same group since 6th grade (it’s evolved since then), and I’m even going to college with several people from the “evolved” group.

I wasn’t big on sports either; I played track, which is a very easy sport, let’s face it, and almost all my guy friends played football or basketball, so I found it fun to join the cheering group and go to football and basketball games and cheer them on with other friends of mine, since I knew people on the team. But even so, sports is not all guys are interested in. I knew people who would rather go on the internet or read a book or listen to music or talk about random crap or act in a play or play an instrument than play sports. Lots of things to do and lots of things to get interested in, whether it’s classes, clubs, after school activities, whatever. You’ll find people with similar interests.

Being in the same classes as people is a way to make friends; I know that for sure, since I became friends with people I didn’t know before simply by being in the same class with them. It works. Take advantage of it.

One piece of advice: don’t try too hard. People don’t like it when it’s obvious you’re trying to hard to fit into a stereotype or be something else. Just do what you do, but talk to people. A lot of people expect others to come to them. I knew I couldn’t expect that when I moved to a new school. You have to go in there and do something about it, you have to talk to other people and get to know them. Believe me, I’m nervous about college because I know I’m going to have to make friends all over again and haven’t I done that enough for one lifetime?...lol

I’m 17 and just did the high school thing. Now it’s time to do the college thing. Sorry for the long answer, I suck. :(

Hi @jambon_777, and welcome to Fluther! The best way to make friends is to seek out the people who enjoy the same things you do. As @kheredia says, join in the activities you’d like to and you’ll meet people through those. Don’t worry too much about ‘kids today’... I’m 41 years old, and kids were exactly like that when I went to high school! Just do your thing, be yourself, and live in the moment.

If you find that your fears are overwhelming you, you might want to try talking to a counselor, too.

Do you play an instrument? Join the band. Building stuff? Scenery crew, or a/v folks. I always met cool people in these groups. Or go make friends with your art teacher – the kids who chill in the art wing are usually nice and interesting people (and cheat reply to post below you can’t be bad at art in high school; everything you do will be cool. At least, I make stuff now and it doesn’t even compare to when I was just learning to make art). Or the dorks who take Organic Chem on Saturdays – we had a great time and got really close.

Edit – also, ultimate frisbee people are great, chess clubbers are often worth knowing, and people who hang around in physics rooms after school working on things like homemade hot-air balloons and catapults.

Thanks guys ! I appreciate all the responses. Really I do. I feel really crappy right now becase my parents never really put me in any programs, sports, or lessons. Money was also an issue. I’ve been told to get involved and join groups and clubs. I will but I’m afraid I’ll be bad at everything. Sorry about that. I’m just so scared

Be cool your own way, don’t care what others think.

@jambon_777

Well, you can’t know what you’re good at without sampling many different things. You might end up being not so good at something or just not enjoying it, but you have to try it. You can’t let embarrassment stop you from trying things. My BF is like that sometimes: didn’t want to do LQ because he’d be bad it, didn’t want to try ice skating because he would fall down and look dumb, wouldn’t try lots of things because he was embarrassed of being bad at them, but he ended up being fine. You must try some things, even if you don’t end up liking them or being too good at them, because for some of them, you may end up liking them and you may end up good at them.

You should try joining the drumline. Seriously, if I could do High school again I would totally do the drumline again. It is so much fun! Start out with something easy like the bass drum. If you have even the slightest bit of rhythm you’ll do fine. Just a suggestion.

I’ll tell you something I wish someone had told me before I went to high school.

I know it sounds trite, but the coolest thing you can be is yourself. Friends who only like you for who you pretend to be aren’t worth having. And before you know it, you’ll never see 99% of these people ever again, save for a reunion every 10 years or so. Do what YOU like to do, and seek out people with similar interests, or they’ll seek you out. In fact, the new kid isn’t always the worst thing you can be…I remember in high school, we had one new student, and he was greeted with great curiosity and people were more fascinated with him than with the people they knew. The biggest thing is to try not to let what other people say or do hurt you, or at least not to let on if it does. If someone does find a difference that they think makes you “uncool” and they try to use it against you, if you don’t let it get to you, they’ll come off like the uncool ones by trying to push forth with something that’s ineffective…makes them look stupid and you look cool as a cucumber.

Just realize, primarily you’re there to get an education, the social aspects are a bonus. And don’t confuse popularity with respect. Any number of things can make you popular…you can act like a real geek, you can be the person who’ll eat anything, you can be the class clown, you can do a lot of things to stick out that people will respond to, but they’ll be laughing at you, not with you. If you be yourself, maybe fewer people will pay you mind, but the ones who do will actually respect you. And if you’re lucky, you will leave high school with a friend or two who will last a lifetime. No one else will matter in 4 years.

@dalepetrie Agreed! I moved to a different state when I started high school; knew nobody. By the end of senior year, I had been nominated for “Most Changed Since Freshman Year,” “Best Hair” (had dreadlocks at the time), and “Most Likely to Start a Cult.” Being oneself works out beautifully.

Dude, you will be bad at everything when you first start. Get being bad out of the way so you can start being good.

Making friends is hard. It’s scary. A lot of people get to be grownups and still haven’t figured it out. But high school is very important because this is your chance to practice, and screw things up, and figure out how to do them over right.

People probably will judge you for all the things you mentioned. That’s kind of how high school is. But the reason people judge other people for stupid shit like that is because they’re freaked out and lonely and unhappy and scared. Anyone who is going to think less of you because of your clothes and who you hang out with is a jerk. Be nice to them anyway. But don’t be a doormat.

You might have an awesome time in high school. But you might not. Either way, the best thing about high school is that sooner or later it ends.

So go, face your fears, be nice to people, try everything, make some mistakes, learn from them, and most importantly do your homework.

The biggest revelation I had during my school years was learning to laugh at yourself. People who try to make fun of you don’t get much enjoyment when you are laughing right with them.

@jambon_777 Have you seen The New Guy? If you haven’t seen it yet, you should. Its a comedy but it has good message in the end.

@jambon_777 – Welcome to fluther!!!!

I totally understand what your saying. I am 40 but still remember. I had it a little easier than most because I had a twin brother so people would mistake me for him or see us together and it was a topic. But I also had him making stuff up about being smarter than me and better in sports to make himself sound better when we were really quite equal.

Now, please don’t take this the wrong way but, think about how you walked through the hallways of your old school. Try to remember your friends and talking to them on the way to class.

Now What were the kids one and two grades lower than you up to? What were the kids not in your classes doing most of the time? Not in your activities? The ones who didn’t share your interests? Even in your class? What did they do regarding you?

There you go. That is what it will be like.

There is a saying, and I can’t remember who said it, but it goes like this:

We wouldn’t spend so much time worrying about what others thought of us if we knew how seldom they do.

You hang in there and don’t forget your friends at Fluther.

Don’t worry about it. You’ll be find. If you are anything like me you’ll think high school was the greatest six years of your life.

Don’t worry about being bad at things.
People will like the guy who sucks at an activity but can laugh at himself and be happy way more than they’ll like the guy who doesn’t bother to try or the arrogant guy who is good at everything.

Going to a high school where you don’t know anyone sucks. I moved across the country two weeks before freshman year started. But it absolutely does get better than those first few months. Are there a few middle schools or jr. highs that filter into your new school? There may be lots of kids who don’t know that many people, and everyone will be getting to know new people.

Some high schoolers are terrible and judgey, but that’s only because they are horribly insecure themselves. There will be people who are genuinely kind and like you for you. It might take a while to find them, but you will.

I’m a skinny nerd that wrote software when I wasn’t doing homework or skateboarding. I didn’t want to be popular (I never was) I just wanted to be left alone. But in the end I made some great friends (around 10) and was pretty happy.

And I was home schooled my freshman year. And then I moved so I started the 10th grade from scratch.

It wasn’t bad. So many people go through the same thing and live.

People leave you alone if you leave them alone.
I went to 3 high schools, I was never in any club or sports team. I wore glasses and, for 2 of the years, had long hair. I listened to my mp3 player and stayed out of peoples’ ways.
There was only one time in my 4 years that I had an issue that could even be imagined as a bullying problem. What’d I do? Ask my teacher to assign me a different seat, I said it was for my eyesight. And I didn’t have an issue with them again.

I made the best time out of high school by choosing to not engage in silly things like gossip and wearing fancy stylish clothes et cetera. Yes, it sounds strange and very different, but there will be other people in your school who have chosen to do this as well. In my experience, people who chose to “play high school” (be gossipy, slack off, be popular, etc) have very shallow personalities and don’t make good friends, or at least we don’t get along well as I value honesty and effort and they value looks and clothing.

I wasn’t good at sports. I was great at computers, and still am to this day. I also played lots of cards with friends. I was bad at first, everyone was, but over time me and my friends got better together. Everyone sucks at the first time of doing anything, but you’ll get better, I promise :) There will be all sorts of clubs and things to try for no cost at school, and there’s always a library with more ideas of interesting things!

I’ve made great friends who I talk with to this day (even though high school was less than a decade ago), people who I love to be around because we get along and value the same things.

Just be yourself, take it easy, do what interests you, and you will make yourself a nice place there.

It’s hard to be the ‘new kid’ and it’s scary to be in a new school. One way that I found made it easier to really get to know other kids and make friends with common interests was to join and participate in student activities. You say you aren’t into sports. Well there might still be other activities you would be interested in. The school paper/ journalism club, scholar bowl, debate team. If you just join one activitiy or club, you’re more likely to make some friends with common interests. It seems like the kids that were in band tended to hang out together, if I remember. Well of course, they practiced together, spent Saturdays doing parades, so they hung out together. If you can’t find anything in school that reflects your interests, look for things outside of school that do. For example you might want to join a local astronomy club, a book club that meets at the library. You’re at that perfect time in life to be exploring life and exploring your own interests. By doing so you’ll make friends with like minds.

Don’t worry about what the other kids think of you. Be true to yourself, and as long as you know deep down YOU are ok with who you are, then that is what matters. You don’t need to be popular, but making even one or two really good friends makes things more enjoyable and you feel less alone. It’s better to have a handful of really great friends than to be “popular”.

I was 14 when we moved across the river and moved into my grandparents house after my grandmother died (very sad time). I moved away from all of my friends with a great mother and a lousy stepdad to a private school. The kids there have been together since 1st grade and they were all really book smart, I was alone for that year and then high school came. Had absolutly no friends out of 2,000 students, it was kind of uneasy but it went away after the first couple of weeks. I gradually meet some people, but nothing really friendship worthy. I meet my woman in 9th grade, had english and art with her. I guess you could say we are high school sweethearts really. As soon as got a car, high school was just a 4 year job. I had alot of friends on the other side of the river. Just don’t ever think about dropping out! Notsaying people haven’t been successful, but chances are slim. BY THE WAY, WELCOME TO FLUTHER! It is interesting to see someone so young on fluther. :-) There is alot wisdom here…

FRESHMAN HUNT!

But really, don’t believe any of that shit. I’ll be a sophomore in a few weeks, and with high school you really get what you put into it. If you don’t do your homework, act like a dick to everybody, and are just generally a jerk, than there’s not that many people who will like you. Which is perfectly understandable. You will make friends. Everybody does.

High School can be either be 4 of the worst years of your life or 4 of the best depending on how you carry yourself and what you put into it. There’s really nothing to be afraid of.

@dverhey – That is true. I never saw any hazing at all. Everyone was always more interested in so many other things.

Proves my point, there’s no bullies most of them are mature, (most of them)
And older kids don’t give a shit about what you do, they aren’t looking for some random kid to laugh at.

@Bri_L Like girls. I know. It’s silly that stuff like that even gets out there.

Edit: Damn it family guy.

@dverhey Lol4rl

Hi, there,
I liked high school much better than jr. high. One of the things that made it better was that there were lots of non-sports-related activities to join. It is easier to make friends with people who share a common interest. Marching band was one of the best things that I did in HS. If you play an instrument, you can probably make friends with the “band geeks.” (I was a proud band geek!) If you are not a musical person, try some other activities: school newspaper, student council, art or debate club? If you can handle advanced classes (“honors,” AP”) I would say go for it —you might some good friends who are not as hung up on appearances. (Maybe.) Also, as someone else mentioned, there may be other new kids who did not go to the district middle school. For example, I met one of my best friends (even today) during freshman year science class —I hadn’t known her earlier because she had always gone to Catholic school. Another tip would be to go over to the school before school begins, if possible, and just walk around and get a lay of the land. Maybe you can even check out where your classrooms will be, if they let you see your schedule ahead of time. Other than that, I would say that you should try to take the long view, if at all possible—I was not cool in HS, but I think that my life today (at 33) is way cooler than the lives of some of the “popular” kids. Good luck!

I moved to a new school sophomore year in high school. It was scary the first day. Then in biology someone asked me to sit at her table and the girl behind me in English started talking to me – they both ending up becoming good friends of mine. I joined the Drama Club; I’m no good at acting, but there were a lot of other “roles” and it was a very accepting group with both “popular” and more quirky kids in it. That club really became my home base in high school. One of the best things about it is that you don’t have to be great at anything, there are a lot of ways such as set building, props, lights, make-up in which you can contribute. If you are taking a foreign language, you might consider joining the club for that language. Again, you don’t need to have specific knowledge going in to it to join. I would say just try to be open to friendly gestures and if you can, make a few of your own. It’s hard but not impossible.

Good luck and welcome to Fluther!

my daughter is one of the most shyist people in the world ,she didnt wanna move.anyways about a week into school she met a girl, they are good friends now and i think she has more friends here than she did in our old town…...i think if she can do it anyone can…...good luck!

Thanks guys! I do feel better about high school. I thank you for all your answers. I hope it isn’t so bad like you guys say. I do still feel nervous though but that’s just because of going to a new school. Thanks again. I appreciate it.

No problem. Good luck with it. It’ll be fun.

@jambon_777 – Hey good luck and I know you’ll be surprised at how great it goes!

Yay! One day, you will be the one handing out the advice about high school!

Be yourself, don’t be afraid of what other people think! Do not conform to the majority! If you just be yourself, you’ll find friends that like you for who you are. Don’t worry about what other people think. Just relax and take it easy