How does having a child changed your perception of the city (and city living)?

To answer your first question Living in the city is better if you have kids. (I personally hate the city) The reason for this is thathospitals are closer and your child learns more because of exposure to more.

This is an interesting question… I don’t have much to contribute myself (being currently childless) but I’ve always wondered why so many people have a kid and suddenly feel this intense need to move to the suburbs.

Er, that’s grammatically incorrect. Rather glaringly. Either change it to ”...has a child changed…” or ”...does a child change…” , depending on what you’re trying to ask.

Are you asking from our personal experiences? Then the former.

Are you asking hypothetically? Then the latter.

It appears to be the former, but I’m somewhat confused as to the content of the question until further clarification.

I stayed in the city to expose my daughter to culture and the different kinds of people. I wanted her to know how to have an open mind to different experiences, varied diet and the many ideas about life. San Francisco is a very kid friendly city. (The rent is what kills you but the trade-off worked for me.) When she went to her first year in college she complained the school, (Marin county), wasn’t diverse enough.

I raised my kids in the city (Seattle). Just had to be real clear about crossing street (and alley ways) and paying attention. But they grew up loving the diversity and culture and when they went off to college they both went to New York (or, returned to the old country). They both stayed in East Coast cities but miss Seattle. I suspect they may relocate here to raise their own families (I can dream).

Yeah, it’s grammatically messy because, being greedy, I wanted to ask both groups of people!
For those of us who are currently childless (myself included), but are contemplating having kids in the future, yes, I’m interested in your hypothetical answers.
And of course, for those of you who have actual experiences… well, nothing beats real life stories.

This question actually came from an interview a journalist asked of my father (a local environmentalist), I thought it was an interesting one and worth seeing what other people thought.

@ TheKitchenSink “Rather glaringly” eh? There are ideals for politeness just as there are rules for grammar. If you are truly interested in helping people, you should run your reply through those before you post. Maybe try “I’m sorry but I am a bit confused, could you mean….” That way it expresses your confusion in a way that allows for clarification without the needless “Rather glaringly” commentary that could easily be construed as the belittlement of the persons’ intellect or abilities. Anyway, your semantics dance is pointless. Especially if you read a little further on. 3 of us were able to derive the meaning of his/her question from the rest of the text, or even without it. I would hate to think someone might read your response to their question and be discouraged from asking another one because of it. This may be the only venue some people feel comfortable asking questions for fear of looking as stupid as your kind of commentary would have them look. I don’t mean to suggest you lifeflame.

Sorry, but I find non-topical, nit-picking and condescention abhorrent. Enjoy picking mine apart.

@ joli I would have loved to stay in San Francisco for a while with my kids. It was a beautiful city that had so much to show.

@ Eight Seattle was very beautiful as well.

My wife and I lived in Alameda, CA until we decided to have kids and then decided, in the interest of being able to afford a house and being near both our families, to move back to the Milwaukee area. We live 35 min out of the city. No street lights. Every environment has its ups and downs. You just have to teach the kids the rules, as Eight said. Streets, strangers etc.

While cities have a lot of pluses in terms of exposure to culture and diversity, good food etc., they can be tough in terms of logistics, like, how easily can I get my kid in her stroller (before she can walk) up into that store, or down the steps of the subway. As bland as the suburbs can be, you realize once you have a kid, how incredibly convenient they are; well designed for their purpose.

@lilakess: Convenient? If you have a car, and drive to and from to that store or Chuck-E-Cheeze. ‘Nuff said.

Living in the city myself. They both have there ups and downs. I think living in the city with a child, depending where in the city you live can be a lot more dangerous than living in the suburbs. However it can have great benifits as well. Like being around a mix of people and life styles. From growing up in the best of both worlds, Being born in the city and urban life I had to learn how to fight as a kid. ( Don’t ever let anyone tell you living in the city is easy) Living in the suburbs, I loved the peace and quite, and friendlier environment. ( Is it me, or does it seem like people from the suburbs have deeper closets then people from the city??LOL

We lived in a rural area when our children were small. We chose to live there and have my husband make a long commute because we thought it would be the best place to raise our children. We loved the fact they could go outside and play in the fields or walk down the street to a friends house and not worry about them. We knew all of our neighbors and things were peaceful and quiet. However, there were drawbacks. Things were too quiet. I felt lonely and isolated as a young mother. There were no stores, malls or places to congregate with other young mothers. Our family time was limited due to my husband’s long commute. Other young families started building homes there and moving in. However, this caused our community elementary school to quickly became overcrowed and understaffed. Our home taxes went through the roof, as they were the only income base for city infrastructure.

Then life and jobs changed and we moved our family to the city. I could not allow my children to play outside without being with them at all times. I discovered our street was popular for drive-by drug deals, and the homeless liked to wander our area stealing and panhandling. On the plus side, there were very nice places nearby within walking distance. There was great public transportation. The elementary school provided a superb gifted education program and our children had many diverse friends. Large parks, museums, shopping centers, restaurants were all at our disposal. My husband could be home quickly at the end of the day for more family time. I enjoyed all those things very much! However, I never felt 100% comfortable and safe there.

Then we moved to the suburbs. We finally had a safe neighborhood again, but still a lot to do nearby! It seems the best of both worlds. Ironically, I work full-time now and don’t get to socialize with my neighbors during the day much. My children are teenagers, so instead of being the ones to play in the yard, or the neighborhood park, they are now the babysitters watching the other children play! :)

So, bottom line is that there are positive and negative aspects of all the places we choose to raise our children. The biggest desire of every parent is to provide the perfect life for our children! It’s the maternal and paternal instinct to protect our young. What we really want is for them to have happiness. We realize we can’t always provide this, no matter how hard we try. But we know that we can achieve some success with a safe environment, a good education, and nice friends. The general perception is that the suburbs or a rural area will provide these things easier than a big city. Obviously, each situation is unique. There are certainly some places in large cities that are definitely NOT kid friendly! But as mentioned, there are pros and cons to all places.

Unfortunately, most people do not have complete freedom to choose where they want to live. Our job location and our financial situations often decide this for us. Sometimes we have to make the most of the situation we have for our children. Being a part of their lives as dedicated parents is much more important in the end than their location.