Social Question

Axemusica's avatar

What's a good site to blacklist someone?

Asked by Axemusica (9500points) December 2nd, 2009

Yea, it’s me again. Mr. BadLuck.
This time it’s about that same girl I mentioned before. The day after my birthday, she somehow convinces me that she’s been pregnant and that’s why we broke up. She said she knew and that’s the reason why she broke up with and even drank and you know, did stuff you’re not supposed to do when you’re pregnant. She said she had no intention on telling me and planned on aborting, but I found out from another girl which actually turned out to be her in disguise that she was and so I asked her. 2 days this went on about me trying to convince her that I will support her and the child and to try and convince her not to abort.

Long story short…Today she told me she’s been lying the whole time. Making the whole thing up. I don’t know what to believe anymore and ASAP I’m going to make her pee on a test.

I have no idea what would possess someone to do such an awful thing to anyone, but she knows that this whole month has been just one thing after another.

So, I feel the need to warn others. Is there a common or just a good site where I can tell my story and warn people?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

50 Answers

janbb's avatar

No need to “blacklist” her; others will figure her out for themselves.

marinelife's avatar

This is not a practice that you want to get into. It is likely to redound badly on you. Anyone with her lack of scruples will have no qualms about posting lies about you on some site.

Why give her the idea?

If she is pregnant, you should report her to child protective services right away to see if they can force her to be healthier for the baby’s sake. Then see if you can get her to give you custody. I would also insist on a paternity test if she is-this girl has shown she will lie about anything.

Then run, don’t walk, as far away from her as you can get!

Axemusica's avatar

@Marina I will know tomorrow if she’s pregnant. You missed the point. supposedly she’s been making the whole thing up. Stressing me out that she’s going to kill my baby for 2 days. I’ve felt like I was going to throw up the whole time. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t watch tv, play video games, nothing. All I could do was hope that she would not abort, but now it’s a “lie”!? She apologizes for being “cruel” and “has problems”, but I need to know if she is before I can bid her a due. Good point on the “why give her the idea?” At this point I just hope she’s not pregnant, because this is crazy and I can’t understand what motive someone would have for doing something so asinine.

marinelife's avatar

@Axemusica No, I got that. I hope for your sake she is not, but I think you are right to insist on a test. She could just as easily be lying now. Take care.

avvooooooo's avatar

Well, I’m sure there are sites where you could blacklist her. But how many people would actually see it on a local level? If you were to want to let everyone know about her, wouldn’t it be smarter to, in theory, hit her where she lives? You could, if you wanted to, take out a billboard or maybe something less dramatic or just as public and really let people know what a lying, scheming bitch she is. That is, if you wanted to be like that.

Axemusica's avatar

@avvooooooo yea, another good point. It just seems less likely anyone actually interested in her will be warned. I’ve been through hell the last couple of days and I wouldn’t want that put on anyone. It doesn’t really sound like there’s much I can do, but continue it on as nothing more than a story of the crazy bitch that I’d tell to people at parties, lol.

janbb's avatar

Yes, I can understand your frustration and anger but I do think other people will catch on to her as you have. Badmouthing her to your friends is probably the most satisfying tactic anyway.

Axemusica's avatar

@janbb haha, yes. Thanks to friends! lurve!

dpworkin's avatar

I would bid her two dues, and then forget about it.

Axemusica's avatar

@pdworkin as soon as I see that negative symbol it’s, “Good luck in life bitch. you’re gonna need it.

janbb's avatar

@pdworkin What are you, a punster?

dpworkin's avatar

nope, I’m an old Jew

janbb's avatar

Not mutually exclusive, as I well know.

galileogirl's avatar

First of all you are not going to make anyone pee on a stick-where anyone else pees is not within your power.

Secondly. if you don’t want the stick-peeing drama, don’t have sex with every Tina, Deb and Mary who crosses your path. If you can’t control yourself until you know her enough to marry her, wear a hat, don’t expect her to protect you from the storm.

Thirdly, even though you think you want to be a responsible father, the day will come when you won’t want to hand over money to THAT woman and watch her have a better life than you do. Even more likely you will marry and your wife will resent the $200/week sent to someone you have history with rather than spending it on her children.

Blacklisting, which is a bad thing, is the least of your problems

TitsMcGhee's avatar

It’s mostly about men, but they feature women every once in awhile: Sorry Mom.

marinelife's avatar

@galileogirl Awfully judgmental.

You don’t have information on whether he used protection.

You don’t have the right to impose your views about when people have sexual relations on others.

This poster was and is trying very hard to act responsibly and do the right thing if there is a child.

Answers like yours are not helpful or encouraging.

YARNLADY's avatar

Wait a minute – you couldn’t recognize this same girl when she cam to you in disguise? I am finding this very hard to believe.

A person’s true colors will always become apparent to other people, so you don’t have to warn them.

You must start taking responsibility for your own behavior. If you are going to have relations with people you don’t even know, you will surely be sorry.

Axemusica's avatar

@Marina thank you.

@galileogirl she said she would take the test in front of me as to show it was all made up.

@YARNLADY why would I make this up?

avvooooooo's avatar

@Axemusica What @YARNLADY is thinking happened is that you met another girl in person that turned out to be her in disguise. I’m thinking it had something to do with the internet which is why you didn’t recognize her. Please clarify. :)

cookieman's avatar

what’s the name of this soap opera? I’d love to DVR it for my wife.

OK, seriously now…if she’s agreed to the pregnancy test, this is good. Even with you there during the test, I wouldn’t trust her as far as I could throw her. Perhaps she will agree to be tested at her doctor as well. You, obviously, can’t be there, but at least then the result is recorded in her medical record.

The stick test from the pharmacy is good for your piece of mind, but five years from now, it’ll be your word against hers if she decides to pin a near-future pregnancy on you. You could get a paternity test then – but it’d be nice if now she could also have her doctor do it. Not likely she’ll agree – can’t hurt to ask. Tell her your concerned as to the accuracy of the over-the-counter tests (nothing more).

Once this is squared away and she’s officially not pregnant (fingers crossed) – stay the hell away from her. In the meantime, start journaling all of her behavior chronologically, contact an attorney and be prepared to petition for a restraining order. This may not be the last you hear of her.

Lastly, I’d suggest a long hard look in the mirror and a little reflection upon yourself to try and discover what led you to be attracted to someone so clearly insane – and try to avoid those choices next go ‘round.

Best of luck.

avvooooooo's avatar

@cprevite You don’t need an attorney for a restraining order, just a police report.

cookieman's avatar

@avvoooooo: I know this (wife’s a law school grad), but it never hurts to consult with one and have them available.

avvooooooo's avatar

@cprevite Except in the wallet.

cookieman's avatar

@avvoooooo: you are correct, but I’d still rather be short on cabbage than end up blind-sided by some crazy bunny-boiler. At minimum, document everything.

Axemusica's avatar

@avvooooooo yes it was an iPhone, not in person. Sorry wish I could say more, but I’m at work at the moment.

YARNLADY's avatar

Oh, I see, online bickering. Well, that changes everything. I don’t see a reasonable solution there.

galileogirl's avatar

@Marina I have very good judgement and have never been afraid to use it. lol

@Axemusica Which is it? A healthy parenting partner or a cop. This woman will NEVER have to urinate in front of you and your focus on that is kind of kinky. If you don’t believe she is pregnant, then just step back. If she is, by next summer she will produce a baby and you will have a paternity test and at some point the courts will decide on the level of your responsibility. @Marina thinks I am too judgemental but I think she will agree the more casual you are in your lifestyle, the more likely things will pop up that can take control of your life-so pay attention!

Axemusica's avatar

@galileogirl you got it backwards. I was tricked into believing she was only to have her tell me it was all lies. There’s many other things I’m failing to mention about why she can’t be trusted. Believe me, I wish I could take her word for it, but I have to make sure otherwise I’ll be in some real shit if the lie about the lie was a lie. Nothing to do with being kinky. I think you need re-calibrate your judgement meter. Also I’m not forcing her to do it in front of me, she offered & I thought it was the only way I’d believe her, so I agreed.

galileogirl's avatar

@Axemusica Oh I got it! You don’t have to take her word for it. Nature has a way of proving or disproving this kind of claim. If you think she’s such a snake, why are you even communicating with her? It seems you like the drama. Whether she is lying or not is moot, the real point is whether she delivers your baby next year. Bemoaning your past mistakes is fruitless, there is nothing you can do about it except build up your bank account and figure out how to stop doing foolish things. Before you pass on advice, remember I’m three times your age and my judgement has kept me out of any mess/confusion even approaching what you are in now.

avvooooooo's avatar

@galileogirl If you would read, you would see that nature stands no chance of proving anything since she apparently was mentioning abortion. You know, where there isn’t a baby in the summer if there ever was one? Yeah, that.

Axemusica's avatar

@galileogirl I like the drama? I was actually thinking about not even responding to you, because of the manner in which you respond. In fact it is you that likes the drama, in my opinion.
I communicate with the “snake,” because of my own experience. I’ve seen my dad, my best friend and a few other men get screwed on all kinds of back child support even though they were clueless to the fact that they didn’t keep trails on the good actions they did for the child. As a result of not showing proof of these good deeds the courts sided with the mother as they always seem to do. So, if she is telling the truth and is not pregnant, thank god. If she’s lying and is pregnant than it would be a lot better to look like the better person to raise my child in a good sane environment. Though I do like how I’m so called “foolish” considering this side had never been seen until she called it off with me. Up until that point I thought she was the best female I’ve ever met, that of course was subject to change. Maybe if I wanted some advice from the perfect side of life where the grass is greener than watching it in HD I’d turn to you, but you can keep your history. Oh and here’s a little piece of advice, just because you’re “three times” someones age does not make you all knowing of their experiences of life in accordance to yours. Others are not as fortunate to have such a perfect stance on life, but nice of you to show your better side.

galileogirl's avatar

@avvooooooo If there is no baby, there is no problem no matter why. No problen in the current context. That isn’t to say he won’t have a similar problem in the future if he doesn’t learn from this experience (as it seems that is not his priority, because he would rather see himself as a victim picked on by a mean old lady who tells him to take responsibility for his acctions-Oooh, so judgemental!)

@Axemusica Get your act together before you try to save the world. You don’t trust this woman so cut your losses. There is no perfect side of life, that is an inexperienced and immature fantasy. The best one can hope for is to learn from experience.

She wasn’t the best female you ever met, life is not in HD, you will not be in control of the environment of this apocryphal child and you are aready spazzing about something that may never happen.

I never claimed to be all knowing but it’s obvious I’m at least 3 times as knowing as you. We all make our own experiences and place in life by moving forward or refusing to. I’ll continue to remind you of that as long as you wish to communicate with me. And yes you like the drama, that’s why you can’t let go of it.

avvooooooo's avatar

@galileogirl Again, reading comes into it. He wants to know if she was/is pregnant because he is worried about abortion.

galileogirl's avatar

Again not his problem, it’s beyond his control. Things will progress on a natural course withou his further input. Before carrying on with his circular logic, go back to the original question. According to @Axemusica this former gf is playing I’m pregnant, I’m not. I am, I’m not

galileogirl's avatar

Then he wants to blacklist her to warn everybody about how evil she is, then what if she gets an abortion, then what if she’s lying and is pregnant what will he do if she’s not. Then he is going to make life better for this hypothetical baby than it was for him except the courts won’t let him because they are biased against men. (Remember he has no proof of any baby besides the sturm und drang in his imagination) Then he can’t walk away because he wants to save her. @avvooooooo THIS is what you’re buying? REALLY?

avvooooooo's avatar

@galileogirl You need to step back or something. You’re getting way too far into reading things into this that aren’t there, picking and choosing parts to read that support your opinions while ignoring everything that doesn’t. Kind of like George Bush. You’re getting so far into making the point that you’re right and everyone else is wrong that you’re no longer making sense. Instead of criticizing him, I’ve sat here and tried to help clarify the situation. Others have discussed options and possibilities You might want to try it sometime.

This is a real situation, whether you believe it or not. I’ve encountered it more than once in my far fewer years than yours, its not uncommon. You probably have too, but didn’t bother to recognize it because you were too busty criticizing.

If @Axemusica wants to make sure that people know not to take this girl at her word since she’s someone who tries to manipulate others into doing what she wants using whatever underhanded methods she can find, more power to him.

cookieman's avatar

@avvooooooo: I was with ya until ”If @Axemusica wants to make sure that people know not to take this girl at her word since she’s someone who tries to manipulate others into doing what she wants using whatever underhanded methods she can find, more power to him.

slander |ˈslandər|
noun Law
the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person’s reputation : he is suing the TV network for slander.

OR PERHAPS

libel |ˈlībəl|
noun Law
a published false statement that is damaging to a person’s reputation; a written defamation.

How ‘bout he just stays the hell away from her?

avvooooooo's avatar

@cprevite One of my degrees is in journalism. I’m very, very familiar with the laws regarding both libel and slander. Telling the truth about someone, no matter who they are, is neither libelous or slanderous. If he advertised something that was not true, that would be different. Check with your wife on that one, she will tell you she same, if the definitions dealing with “false” haven’t made it abundantly clear.

One more time. Telling the truth is not illegal. So providing definitions to try and say that it is are unnecessary.

YARNLADY's avatar

@avvooooooo I read that even if the allegations are true, if they are made for the purpose of demeaning the person, or to ruin his/her reputations, they are still subject to libel or slander depending on how they are distributed.

YARNLADY's avatar

@avvooooooo “truth is not a defense” source

avvooooooo's avatar

@YARNLADY From your source, “It is usually, but not always, a requirement that this claim be false and that the publication is communicated to someone other than the person defamed.”

“In many legal systems, adverse public statements about legal citizens presented as fact must be proven false to be defamatory or slanderous/libel.”

Also, “Opinion is a defense recognized in nearly every jurisdiction. If the allegedly defamatory assertion is an expression of opinion rather than a statement of fact, defamation claims usually cannot be brought because opinions are inherently not falsifiable.”

I’m not sure where you’re proving me wrong since the site is, in fact, confirming what I said is true. If you wish to discuss invasion of privacy, where the information you quoted came from that is almost irrelevant to libel and slander, we can do that. If you’re referring to Noonan v. Staples (invalid for legal precedent), perhaps you might want to read the rest of the paragraph. But pulling a few words, that don’t actually apply to the thing you’re implying they belong to, to confirm a point is not confirming a point.

YARNLADY's avatar

@avvooooooo You read it and you interpreted it to mean what ever you want it to mean, which is all anyone can do. To me, Usually, but not always, means not always, but if you want it to mean always or most or whatever, that’s up to you.

avvooooooo's avatar

@YARNLADY I read your source, all of your source, and more than that, I understood what it said. All of what it said. Additionally, I knew what it said before I read it because I have taken and passed tests on the matter with flying colors. As with the very small and misleading portion you quoted earlier, you took a small portion and tried to use it to manipulate the information to confirm your assumption. You appear to have read the first quote, ignored all the others, and latched onto the one word that you can try and use to attempt to prove your point. Please read the other quotes, the article, and whatever else you need to read before carrying on a ridiculous argument. Thanks.

YARNLADY's avatar

@avvooooooo Why do you think you have to convince me that you are correct? If a case like the one being discussed goes to court, the lawyers will do exactly as we have done; each will present his/her own interpretation, trying to convince the court their client is either innocent or guilty, and the court will decide. It has absolutely nothing to do with whether you and I read something on the internet or not.

cookieman's avatar

@avooooo: As @YARNLADY points, it’s all in the interpretation. While his opinion may or may not be considered slander or libel, why would he want to take the chance in court? This girl has already proven to be unpredictable at best – why tempt fate?

I can totally understand his need to verify the pregnancy (see my initial post) – but beyond that, I’d simply stay away from her.

and of course I ran this by my wife prior to even posting about libel and slander and she’d like you to know that she’s fairly certain her juris doctorate, undergrad in criminal justice and ten years court experience trumps your journalism degree.

Sorry…she’s fiesty like that.

avvooooooo's avatar

@YARNLADY Because I am correct. Because you are only arguing the point because its me posting. Because you are unable to admit that you might be wrong and that you don’t have the information to back yourself up.

@cprevite If he presented facts and only facts, even if he went to court, he would not legally be guilty of libel or slander. Even though I chose not to go to law school in favor of being in the trenches, so to speak, I did consider for a time going into media law. I’ve spent quite a lot of time with these particular laws, if not with others. Your wife might have the experience, but you are the one who posted the definitions of libel and slander which are unlikely to be a problem as long as the truth is told. Sure, this girl might get litigious, but she wouldn’t be able to prove that the statements were false. Its unlikely that younger adults, if this girl is legally an adult and not a teenager, would choose to sue due to a great number of factors. The risk of getting sued is there with many things we say or do every day, but that doesn’t stop us from saying and doing them.

Axemusica's avatar

Whoa this blew up while I was asleep. I don’t know much about legalities, but the majority of the conversation was through text messages, so I would be able to provide proof. if that mattered

She’s continuing trying to “say goodbye,” so to speak. Acting as though she’s forgotten that she hasn’t proven she’s not pregnant yet and saying, “I’m not pregnant. Come on I know you’re not dumb.” I say “EXACTLY” the smart thing is to make sure she’s not and take a walk, but I’m tired of dealing with her. she lives 60 miles away and I know she said she’d do it in front of me, but I somehow feel as though it won’t go over so easy. So, I’ve decided to wait the 9 months and check back.

cookieman's avatar

@Axemusica: I’m glad you decided not to add fuel to the fire (so to speak).

Best of luck.

Cotton101's avatar

ummm..good relationships are not formed from drinking and having sex! Would find girls who have values and having sex means something!

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther