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• 2 weeks ago

  Is it okay to just show up at your SO's house?

  Great Question (2)
• 1 month ago

  Why do people send mixed signals?

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• 1 month ago

  What's the best way to manage a partially-unrequited crush?

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• 3 months ago

  Have you ever lived with someone who narrated his/her every move?

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• July 24th, 2009

  What does it mean if a guy doesn't call you his girlfriend?

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Answers

• 1 week ago

  Is it okay to just show up at your SO's house?

  @hearkat: I really am not trying to be difficult but every time I read your answers I get more upset. I don’t understand why I’m obligated to pick up the phone every time he calls. I don’t think failing to answer my phone makes me inconsiderate…I think I was being considerate toward the people I was spending time with. I don’t understand why the act of not answering the phone is snubbing. Certainly if we had standing plans and I stood him up and didn’t answer the phone, I would be a jerk. But do you really think that every time you silence a phone call you are inconsiderately snubbing someone?
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• 1 week ago

  Is it okay to just show up at your SO's house?

  I didn’t answer the phone because I was engaged in another conversation. We frequently do chat about our plans but I don’t give him a play-by-play of what I plan to do with every hour of every day. We just didn’t happen to mention our plans for this one Friday night this one time. I continue not to understand why you think this is denial. If I had somehow psychically known he was calling to ask me to make plans, and I had deliberately avoided the phone calls in order to avoid making plans, then I would be in denial. But he could have just as easily been calling me because he was walking somewhere and was bored, to get my lasagna recipe, to find out if I remembered the name of that band we heard that one time, etc. If my dentist calls me to make an appointment for a teeth cleaning and I don’t answer, he’s not going to just schedule me anyway. If any of my girlfriends call to make plans and I don’t answer, they’re not going to be confused when I don’t show up. I don’t understand why a boyfriend should be entitled to my time without asking me for it in the first place. I guess I am wondering if it is normal to feel resentful of his assumption that my time is his, or if I should just be so super excited to see him every time he wants to see me that I drop everything to hang out with him. Because I’m not. Obviously.
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• 1 week ago

  Is it okay to just show up at your SO's house?

  @hearkat: I don’t understand where the denial thing comes in. We did not have pre-existing plans; now I can see that he was trying to make plans with me and when he was unable to he forced me to have plans with him by showing up at my house. And while we often do discuss our plans for the near future, we simply had not discussed plans for this particular Friday evening.
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• 2 weeks ago

  Is it okay to just show up at your SO's house?

  I apologize. I meant to pose the question as that of a disinterested party—I don’t think anyone’s answers should change regardless of the asker. Either this is an appropriate thing to do or it is not.
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• 2 weeks ago

  Is it okay to just show up at your SO's house?

  @SpatzieLover: I continue to disagree…to the extent these are “warning signs” I think they are warning of different preferences, evidenced by the answers above. Some people think this is an acceptable thing to do if you are in a very serious relationship; some do not. Unfortunately I do not have any models of functional, long-term adult relationships to draw on, so I often find myself second-guessing myself when upset by relationships. Hence the turning to strangers on the internet. So I am not worried this boyfriend poses any kind of threat to me…I just wonder if I am justifiably or unjustifiably upset by this.
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