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BeanAc's avatar

How to get my mom to be proud of me?

Asked by BeanAc (65points) October 10th, 2010

I am usually an A student, and my lowest grades ar B’s. Recently, I have this really hard teacher and everyone fails her class. I failed her quiz, as well as 9 other kids. Then I got a C+ and my mom is thinking of calling the school, teacher, principal, and NO ONE does that!! I’ll seem like a nub, and plus what will she say? I already have a tutor, I want her to calm down becuase she tells everyone and it gets embarassing!!

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20 Answers

lillycoyote's avatar

What exactly is your mom telling “everyone” and who is she telling? Also, if you’re concerned about what she’s going to say to your teacher, principal, etc. can’t you just ask her? Can you talk to her about what she’s going to discuss with them?

interweb's avatar

First and foremost, I’m sure she is proud of you regardless to what you might think of her and her recent actions. The sudden mark drop probably had alarmed her since on average you are a highly graded student. Be open to her and tell her what is on your mind : ) don’ be embarassed to, the sooner you do the sooner things will return to normal.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Are you doing your absolutely best work, and do you feel like you’re learning lots of new things in the class with the hard teacher? If so, she’s challenging you to think.

The point of school is to learn new things, not get all A’s. The C’s are often more valuable than skating through with A’s in easy classes.

Marva's avatar

Sweety, your mom is surely already proud of you! and not even because of all of these A’s. Mothers just can’t help but to be proud of their own creation. She sees the true you, who you become evryday, regardless of grades, she knows what you are dealing with and how you overcome things, and she’s proud. If on top of that you get great grades most of the time, she’s in heaven, and if you have a class where you succeed less, regardless whether it was your fault or the teacher’s, it doesn’t change anything even a bit.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

I’m sure that your mom is proud of you, or she wouldn’t care about the marks you bring home.

What she’s concerned about is what seems (to her) a precipitous drop from “A” work to “C” grades. Hopefully you will have discussed this with her to show her that you’re doing your best work in the class, and that your work is at least on par with the best students in the class. (Mothers never accept the “everyone else is doing it, so why can’t I?” reason, but they always insist that you perform “like everyone else” ... only better.)

If you can’t improve your grade, and if the teacher is marking everyone down regardless of performance, then she would also be right in discussing this with the teacher and the principal. After all, your college acceptance (and choices) will be determined in part by your high school grades, so they are somewhat important.

You should also be talking to the teacher yourself—which may obviate your mother needing to do it—to find out how you can improve your performance in the class, and then do as she suggests.

Austinlad's avatar

Be proud of yourself for your efforts and your achievements and don’t waste your time trying to make someone else proud of you.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Let’s break this down:
I have this really hard teacher and everyone fails her class. If everyone fails her class, then it would be a big, red flag to the school administration, even if she has tenure. They would be on top of it as, a.) most schools like to see high GPAs for their students, and b.) parents complain; complaints require follow-up.

I failed her quiz, as well as 9 other kids. Unless there are only 9 students in the class and she only teaches your class and not others, that doesn’t equate to ‘everyone’.

Then I got a C+ and my mom is thinking of calling the school, teacher, principal, and NO ONE does that!! I cannot speak for what happens at your school, but I can speak for the ones where both of my sisters teach. Trust me…they are both known for being tough and have had more than their fair share of parent/teacher conferences, as well as a few confrontational meetings with upset parents. They both appreciate the care that the parents give in being concerned about the performance of their child. It is much better than not hearing from those who have a child that is floundering.

I’ll seem like a nub, and plus what will she say? Excuse my ignorance; I have no idea what a ‘nub’ is, but it sounds like something classmates would use in a derogatory manner. As long as your mother keeps this between you, the teacher and herself, there is nothing to worry about. There is no telling what she will say, but your insight into the current situation from an objective perspective will only help in having her keep her temper.

I already have a tutor Has your tutor talked to the teacher? Surely, that might help.

And here is the good news. If the teacher is really good and just making you stretch instead of coast, you will appreciate it in the long run. I’ve heard from several of my sister’s former students who felt the same way that you do right now. They have all said that while their grades were disappointing at the time, it truly helped prepare them for college life. One class and one final grade hasn’t stopped any of them from getting into the college of their choice, at least from what I’ve heard.

One other thing to keep in mind: there are very few people who excel or exceed in every subject. My cousin who is exceptionally book-smart and received his PhD from MIT has his own short-comings as a human being.

As @CyanoticWasp said, your mother is already proud of you. If she were not, she wouldn’t be so concerned about this one course and this one teacher. She sees how much potential that you have and wants the best for you. If you can look at it from this perspective, it may help. If you talk to your mother about how you are feeling and your concerns about her reaction, it can make the world of difference.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I used to think as @BarnacleBill writes that the grades don’t matter as much as what you’re learning BUT… GPA’s are making or breaking kids’ chances to get into colleges of their choices! There is such terror and not holding a consistent GPA that more and more parents are pressuring schools to question teachers.

My stepdaughter was a straight A student all through elementary, Jr. High and the first two years of High School so when in her Jr. year she had a teacher who was giving most kids B’s and C’s who were used to pulling A’s then several parents got involved and lodged complaints. In the end my stepdaughter came through with A’s for that class but she was so stressed the whole course, all she could think of was not being able to get into her first choice college because of that teacher.

mollydrew's avatar

Your tutor is the one you need to work with if you want to understand this class well enough to get the grade you feel you should be getting. If you normally get A’s and B’s you now have a class that is more of a challenge and you are going to have to apply yourself. Perhaps your relationship with your mother is in “new territory” and you will need to learn to communicate as an adult with her. Tell her you are sensitive about your grade and your struggles with this class and prefer she not discuss it with others. If your mom feels the need to talk to someone she should talk to your tutor.

JLeslie's avatar

I did not read the other answers, but here is mine, hope ot isn’t too redundant.

I think for sure your mom is very proud of you. If that teacher fails everyone, then that teacher sucks, and parents need to start complaining so something is done. I understand you will be embarrassed if your mom makes a big deal, but you could reframe it as finally your mom is going to do something about this teacher. It is not about getting you a better grade in the class, although that does matter, it is about a teacher who is ruining the GPA of students either because he/she is a very poor teacher, or has unfair testing practices.

This is something many people and politicians are trying to address right now, bad teachers in our school systems.

What if you and some friends decided to go to your principal and complain about the teacher without focusing on what grade you received, and see if the principal responds positively? Your parents can be there for support if they need to get involved, but you and your friends can lead the effort. Don’t make it a witch hunt, but you can raise awareness about this teacher.

If the class is just difficult for you, simply a subject you don’t do well in, that is a different story, but it sounds like that is not the case.

Nullo's avatar

It sounds more like her issues are with the school, not with you.

YARNLADY's avatar

When I was doing volunteer work with the public school, about 10% of the parents were in direct contact with the teachers on a regular basis. Their students were the most successful students in the school.

john65pennington's avatar

If this one particular teacher is truly this “resistent”, then back your mother and her talk with whomever at your school. believe it or not, parents have talks with teachers all the time, all over the country. you are not alone in this type of situation. if your mother did not care about you, she would do nothing in your defense. so, back her all the way. the other students will get over it. this is your life, not theirs.

trailsillustrated's avatar

I’m proud of you and I don’t even know you. I wish my daughter got grades like that. I wouldn’t say anything about one fail if the rest were a’s and b’s. Your mom doesn’t know how good she has it

Cruiser's avatar

Propose a meeting between you teacher to discuss this apparent disconnect of your efforts and you scores. This will show your mom and your teacher you are serious about your efforts in that class. That should be all you mom needs to be proud of you.

CMaz's avatar

“How to get my mom to be proud of me?”

Simple… Be proud of yourself, let your mother go.

JLeslie's avatar

I think @cruiser’s suggestion is fantastic.

skfinkel's avatar

The whole issue of being proud of someone else is kind of faulty to begin with. You are really the only one who can be proud of yourself. Your mom can be proud of herself. Her love of you is different from her expectations of how well she wants you to do in school. If you do work that you feel proud of, and you take actions that you feel proud of, that is all that you can do. your mom will be happy that she has a child who is proud of himself. And she can be proud that she raised such a confident child. The fact that she cares about your schooling is a good thing, and shows she is concerned about your education (and perhaps your higher education), but you have to let the notion of “pride” go.

tianalovesyou's avatar

ugh, my mom is similar.
I know how you feel.

sashii's avatar

we are the same! I know how does it feels. :/

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