General Question

goldilocks's avatar

Is it ok to be jelous?

Asked by goldilocks (273points) March 31st, 2008 from iPhone

people are always saying that jelous is bad, but even if you try, sometimes its hard to resist jelousy. Even if you don’t tell anyone, is it ok?

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9 Answers

crackerjack's avatar

i think that being jealous is normal, it’s just that you have to know the boundaries and not do something that is wrong. For example, if an ex is dating someone else, just because you still have feelings doesn’t mean that you need to fight your new exes partner

goldilocks's avatar

Good point! Haha thank you again!

amandaafoote's avatar

Jealousy can be good & bad. If you’re dating someone, sometimes they like to know that you get jealous, because it shows you care, but when it’s out of place to be jealous, if you are you should probably keep it to yourself.

lovelyy's avatar

i am the perfect example of a jealous person. the good things is i know i am so i can control it, but it really does mean you just care for the person.

@amandaafoote; i agree with the jealousy can be good and bad but not t he part of keeping it in. i don’t think it’s healthy to keep something you feel strongly about in.

amandaafoote's avatar

@lovely-I only meant that sometimes it’s right to keep it in when it isn’t technically your part to be jealous, as crackerjack said, if an ex is dating someone else, you can be jealous but it really isn’t your place to intrude on their relationship

samkusnetz's avatar

jealousy is an emotion which comes on whether we want it to or not. to deny it only makes it bubble up later, stronger. by virtue of the fact that it cannot be controlled, it cannot be bad to be jealous.

what is bad, i think, is to allow your jealousy to cause you to behave in ways that you ordinarily wouldn’t. converting jealousy into anger, and anger into some kind of emotionally or physically aggressive action is very easy to do, and not very nice or productive.

instead, let yourself be jealous for a little while. really just sit in your emotions and let it happen, and promise yourself not to do anything about it until you feel a little better. then, take a good hard look at why you feel jealous. sometimes it’s not for the reason that you thought initially, and the process of examination really helps sort things out.

i went through a serious bout of this very recently, and trying to explain my position helped me realize that i was actually feeling that jealous. what i was really feeling was rejected. and once i got into that, i started feeling better because i was able to address the emotion that i was really having… does that make sense?

goldilocks's avatar

haha ya thanks!

cwilbur's avatar

You can’t deny your emotions and your instincts; they are what they are. It’s no worse to be jealous than to be sad.

But you can control what you do about your emotions, and how you act on them.

cheebdragon's avatar

There is a thin line between being jealous and being psycho clingy, so watch how far you let your self go

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