What can I do to help my daughter understand that everyone is not the same in relationships>?

Just be there to comfort her and answer any questions she has. She will eventually adapt to this new realization, and will most likely be the wiser for it. Just don’t make it out to be anymore than it is, the actions of one person whose ability to commit to others seems to be woefully lacking.

Let her grieve the loss of a grandfather in her baby’s life. It is real.

Gently point her toward the pluses in her son’s life, the positive influences that he has.

It takes time to figure out that not everyone’s life is created equal. That is part of growing up and becoming more mature. Having a baby and turning a magic age does not automatically confer that type of maturity.

It is going to be difficult and I understand why she feels poorly for her son. She feels he is being deprived a valuable relationship. Explain that feeling sorry for something that she can not help is also not benefital for her child. He needs a mother who is happy to do what is necessary to raise him the right way and who loves him. Yes a boy may need his father but uncles and grandfathers can help fill those gaps. Assure her that she is not alone in loving her son and that you will do what you can to help give him the male guidance that he may require. Families aren’t just mom and dad, they are a much bigger package that include cousins, aunts, and grandmothers. She needs to have a possitive out view for her son to feel secure. In the end all children need is love and security and he will learn to adjust and find happiness. But not if she continues to morn his future before it is here.
I don’t know if you mean the dad died or skipped out but loss is loss. Tell her it is alright to morn but at some point she must consider moving forward for his sake. Children know when their parents are sad and it may make him feel insecure.

Like @Pandora, I don’t know if your grandson’s dad has passed or has just disappeared. Unlike @Pandora, I think it makes a difference. I suspect, though, that he has disappeared, because she seems to be envious of her friend, whose baby daddy is helping bring up the child.

Your daughter is alone, and being a single parent, of course, is a really hard job. Is she getting help anywhere? Does she work? Is she still in school? How do you help her out?

I’m not sure what you mean by “come to grips” with the fact the father of her child is gone. Is she ignoring the baby? Is she acting like she can’t do anything? If this is the case, there is a possibility that she has post-partum depression. Has she had any follow-up appointments with the hospital or midwife or doctor that was caring for her before the birth? If not, she should go in to get checked for depression.

Even if it isn’t post-partum depression, I’ll be it’s depression. You are young, and ill-quipped to care for the child, perhaps uneducated, and your baby’s father is gone. That’s enough to send someone into a serious depression.

I’m making a lot of guesses here, so I may be really off base. You didn’t give us much to go on. My hunch is that you want her to kind of “snap out of it” and start being a responsible mother. She is blaming the lack of a father to help as the excuse for her being unable to do much.

But that’s not really it. It’s not that you can explain to her that the father is gone, and she’s got to get it together to be mom. She knows this. What she doesn’t know is how she can manage it. It seems overwhelming.

I think she needs therapy, and baby raising classes. She needs to be around other real moms, not virtual moms on facebook. She needs to learn, step by step, how it is possible to take care of her baby. I’m guessing she’s still in high school. I don’t know where you live, but many cities have special programs for young women with babies to help them through. You should probably contact people, either at these programs, or at some other young mother support program in your area. The therapist may know of such programs.

There is help. You just have to go find it for her. She won’t find it for herself. She’s too out of it at the moment. Depression is serious. If you can get her to meet with those who can help her, you’ve done your job.

Please forgive me if any or all of these assumptions I’ve been making are wrong or are insulting. I really am trying my best to help. But in the absence of the story, I’m inventing one myself, and I could easily be wrong. Good luck.

How sad, it’s sucks when a dad can’t be there for his kid. That was what you were saying right?? Are you trying to help her to cope with someone else’s father not being around, is that what’s upsetting her?? How about her dad, is he around?? I’m not sure I understand the question.