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chelle21689's avatar

What do you think my old friend's girlfriend's motives are?

Asked by chelle21689 (6987points) October 31st, 2010

A couple years ago I made this really good friend. He and I got a long really well. I have a boyfriend, he has a girlfriend, both serious relationships. We were never inappropriate with our actions or conversations and talked/hung out once a month or two. A year ago I got a txt from him saying that he couldn’t be friends with me anymore because our friendship was ruining his relationship and that his girl was jealous of me and not trusting. It was funny because in the beginning of our friendship she and I would talk a lot and get along, and one day she deleted me off Myspace.

I never heard from him since. This morning, I got a message from her on Facebook as if we were old long lost friends. My response, “I thought you hated me?” She said that she never hated me and that her boyfriend wasn’t being truthful and lied a lot. They got in arguments and one day he stopped talking to me and she never asked him why, she just dropped it.

If she thought I was threatening to her relationship, why would she find me on Facebook (we have no mutual friends) and contact me? They’re still together by the way.

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10 Answers

marinelife's avatar

I don’t know who’s telling the truth or why she contacted you, but I would treat both of them as if they were poison.

weeveeship's avatar

@marinelife I concur. I think that the boyfriend might be using you to make his girlfriend jealous. Something like that. In any case, it’s best just to not get involved.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Maybe she just wants to be sure that the two of you aren’t talking anymore or maybe she wants to ruin whatever strands of a friendship may remain between you and him. Either way, I’d avoid her and not reply to her anymore.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Let the two of them work out whatever it is they need to work out. You don’t need the drama. Spend the time with your boyfriend instead.

I would avoid them.

Marodr13's avatar

Honestly I feel that you have gotten over both of them and I would leave it where it is.. you really dont want to be in the middle of two individuals that are not honest and the thing is that they would place you in the middle..
I would not trust what she is saying due to the fact that she is the reason you no longer have him as a friend.. Life is too short let this predicament go, and sign it off as a lost cause.. All you are getting yourself is into more emotional distress… not worth it…
@Seaofclouds: agreed I feel that she is not out for a friendship but to find out information on the boyfriend and see if he really has stopped speaking to the individual that she is so jeolous of.. Sneeky girl..

ZEPHYRA's avatar

You are being used by one or both. Keep your distance and a low profile and see how things go. Don’t open up to either of them anymore!

chelle21689's avatar

I’m so gullible…lol gosh. I thought she wanted to keep the peace haha.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

There is no way to tell what their motives are unless they finally confess. In hindsight, it probably would have been better to ask her why she cut off connections with you on MySpace and why she hasn’t been in contact for over a year. Finding out what her feelings are/were from her seem the best route to take.

If you are looking for advice (you didn’t ask for it), it’s best to not pick at the scab. They both seem to have relationship issues, and it isn’t worth pursuing it in order to get to the bottom of it, unless they reach out to you again. I’d also ask that they talk in either person or on the phone and preferably with both of them present. You are more likely to get to the bottom of it that way then by e-mail or txt.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I agree with the others who say to avoid them both. He may have done things that hurt her feelings like looking at pictures of you, talking about you to other friends of his and it got back to her, maybe he even talked about you in his sleep or left doodles around with your name on them, who knows? She may just want to be on friendly terms because she suspects him of stuff and wants to “facebook stalk” girls he knows.

YARNLADY's avatar

She is hoping beyond all logic that she can get back with her lover.

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