Is it possible to make a conscious decision to give up hope?

Or is it necessary to be shown over and over again that some things just aren’t going to change.

I have a situtation in my life that I’m fairly certain isn’t going to change. (You can go here if you’re really bored and want to read all about it.) The logical part of me is trying to tell the emotional part of me that my husband is not going to compliment me beyond my cooking and that I need to quit hoping for it. Logic head also says that I should get back to the workout schedule so that maybe I can manage a compliment from him and that even if that doesn’t happen, I’ll at least look better and therefore feel better about myself. The emotional part of me reacts in one of two ways, depending on the moment:

1. By crying (when alone) and feeling terrible about myself any time there’s anyone around that I think he might find remotely attractive. This doesn’t have to be in person either, it can be TV or a movie as well.

2. By telling myself that I shouldn’t bother to go back to working out because I’ll never be able to achieve his prefered body type. I could look better, certainly, but I feel like it’s not going to be what he prefers. This puts me into the “why bother” cycle of thinking. I don’t do things for myself, so the idea of looking better for me isn’t one that goes very far.

I hate feeling like I’m never going to look good enough. I also hate the feeling of giving up hope. I’ve even tried to convince myself that he’s emotionally incapable of speaking a compliment even if he is pleased with how I look at a particular moment. I’ve tried to tell myself that it’s like a physical impairment. Some people can’t hear well, some people can’t see well, maybe his is that he can’t do this.

How do I catch my heart up to my head? How do I quit wishing? And how long does it take?

I have to go do a bunch of work now, but will be back. Thanks in advance for any help.