Social Question

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

How has it affected your life if you feel like you're missing an important piece of information?

Asked by WillWorkForChocolate (23137points) November 1st, 2010

Have you ever had someone say they really needed to tell you something important, then something happened and you never got to find out what the “something important” was?

When I was 18, a friend of mine (who I was most decidedly in love with) decided to join the army. He said he needed to tell me something very important before he left. When he came over, we didn’t have a chance to be alone, so he said the conversation would have to wait. We never got to see each other again before he left for the army.

We were out of touch for years and were just recently able to reconnect. It’s been 13 years. I asked him what he meant by needing to tell me something important that day, and he said he’s forgotten since then.

So maybe it wasn’t really all that important, but it still drives me insane sometimes to not know what it was about.

Have you had something similar happen to you? And has it bothered you at all to not know? Even years later?

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10 Answers

janbb's avatar

A boyfriend whom I had recently broken up with went abroad for a year. When he came back, he called my college looking for me. My ex-roommate, who was mad at me, didn’t give him any info about where I was – and I was in England by then. I only found this out years later. Had we reconnected, I might have ended up marrying him.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@janbb Wow, that either really sucks or it was for the best. Since I have no idea about your personal life, I don’t know which.

janbb's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate Hard to know. I am happily married and have a great family, but one does sometimes wonder about the road one was prevented from taking.

Coloma's avatar

Well…there was a lot of missing information in my marriage that, when come to light resulted in me divorcing my ex. lol

No regrets….best thing I ever did and I have never been happier, although in the moment it certainly didn’t feel that way. ;-)

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I have a big “why” I have pondered for quite some time now and I will probably never know.Sometimes life is like that.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Yes, it affects me to not know why.

Cruiser's avatar

You can’t wait around forever….life is too short to waste time waiting for answers that probably will never come!

KatawaGrey's avatar

My grandfather was a Marine in WWII. He was one of those ridiculously young soldiers who went into combat I believe he was 20 years old. He never told anyone about his time in the war, except for a few fun or interesting tidbits he saved a fellow Marine’s life by carrying him through the Philippine jungle and I’ve always felt as if I was missing some very important information about my grandfather.

tedibear's avatar

My mom was raped and became pregnant by an employer when she was 18. She had the baby and my grandparents raised him as their son. Had I known this earlier in my life, it might have explained my mother’s “boys only want one thing,” attitude that occasionally came up. However, I can see why she wouldn’t want to talk about it. That had to have been horrific, and in 1936, I would think stigmatizing as well.

Coloma's avatar


Awww…yes, women used to kill themselves over unwanted pregnancies and sexual shame…whew…I can’t imagine.

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