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Mom2BDec2010's avatar

I feel like my little sister is ruining her life, what do I say to her or do?

Asked by Mom2BDec2010 (2666points) November 3rd, 2010

She is completely out of control. She just turned 15 years old and has had sex with 10 guys. She isn’t on birth control and has unprotected sex. She does pills and smokes marijuana. She sneaks off with her 19 year old boyfriend all the time. I have no idea what to do with her. I don’t want her to think I’m trying to go against her and I don’t want her to think I’m trying to “ruin her life.” (As she says) What would you do in this situation?

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9 Answers

YARNLADY's avatar

l. Do nothing, it’s not your problem

2. Talk to Child Protective Services, and see about having the 19 year old prosecuted.

tranquilsea's avatar

Fifteen is an awful age. Many teens that age have a terribly hard time seeing the consequences of their actions.

Have you tried asking her questions to try to get to the bottom of why she is behaving this way? I don’t think it is normal for a 15 year old to have sex with that many guys if indeed she has. She’s chasing something or running from something.

I would let her know what the possible outcomes could be if she doesn’t curb her behaviour. Try to get her to start the pill. Tell her your concerned about her.

Judi's avatar

Don’t enable her bad behavior, but don’t try to control her either. It’s hard to hear, but this is your parents problem, not yours.
Right now focus on living your life right.
Your sister will eventually find her way, and even if she doesn’t you really can’t influence her at this point.
Take care of your responsibilities, school, and any activities you do.
You’re parents are probably pulling their hair out, and you can be a ray of sunshine in some dark and scary times.
Just remember, you are not responsible for your sisters choices.

BarnacleBill's avatar

It’s hard when you’re 2 years older than your sister to be able to step in and parent her. Where are your parents in all this? Are they concerned about her?

john65pennington's avatar

Where are her parents in all of this? i know she is your sister, but you have absolutely no control over her. again, where are her parents?

Pandora's avatar

See if you can get her to some birth control center for women and get her checked out for STD’s.
She more than likely has contracted something by now if she is being so careless.
She needs to get checked before she spreads it around, and if she doesn’t they can at least help her be informed in how wrong her choices can be and give her some form of contreceptives.
In the mean time, till she will get checked out, tell every guy she has been to bed with that she has an std and should get checked.
The lie should at least keep some of those guys out of her bed for a while.
And I agree with yarnlady, that 19 is breaking the law. Warn him to stay away or you will inform the authorities.
I take it your parents don’t care or this would’ve been handled by now. But if it is simply that they are clueless, than you need to clue them in.

chyna's avatar

You are 17 with a baby on the way, so she really isn’t going to listen to you. You need to find someone your sister will listen to, a friends parents or a guidance councilor.

meiosis's avatar

Do not go to child protection to get the 19 year old prosecuted, unless you want to lose your sister for ever. He may be breaking the law, but she’s a willing partner and would, presumably, be mortified for her sex-life to be dragged through the courts. I think she would find it very hard to forgive the person who, in her eyes, was responsible for getting her boyfriend a place on the sex-offenders register.

The best thing you can do is to let her know that you’re there for her should she want someone to confide in. Fifteen is a rotten age, and some people need to get stupid behaviour out of their system. I know I did, and thankfully my family were waiting for me when I emerged, relatively unscathed, on the other side of those turbulent years.

breedmitch's avatar

The promiscuous 17 year old is worried about the promiscuous 15 year old.
You’ve set a great example.

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