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diavolobella's avatar

If you could create a movie for the Lifetime Channel, what would the title be?

Asked by diavolobella (7925points) November 4th, 2010

Please provide the title of your heartwrenching, dramatic masterpiece. Also, do feel free to fill in as much of the dramatic details as you wish, such as character names, plot, setting and resolution.

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84 Answers

diavolobella's avatar

Mine would be “My Grandfather’s Second Wife’s Son’s Younger Brother’s Goat, My Lover.”

Of course, the goat’s name would be Hubert Buford Maurice Beauregard, but I’d call him “Hubba Bubba Mo Beau”

iamthemob's avatar

“The Fluther Woman” ;-)

ucme's avatar

WHOOSH!! What was that? That was your life mate! Wow that was quick :¬)

diavolobella's avatar

“Fluther, May I Sleep with Jellies: a Moment of Tentacles Movie”

iamthemob's avatar

“Fluther May I: The Story of Dr. J – A Tentacle Too Far”

diavolobella's avatar

“Why I Wore Glasses to My Tentaclectomy: the Dr. Jelly Story”

diavolobella's avatar

@SundayKittens

Deadly Mews: the Sunday Kittens Massacre

erichw1504's avatar

“My Lover, Mother-in-Law”

iamthemob's avatar

“I Frizzered My Cake Away: The Story of Shell-y”

diavolobella's avatar

She Woke Up Slimey

mammal's avatar

Men who stare at `my pet goat’ (looking into the Abyss)

Picture if you will a President in a schoolroom reading aloud to a group of young children,
suddenly a grey man in a suit walks briskly over to the Seated president, bends down and whispers something in his ear….

iamthemob's avatar

“Bury My Lurve in Tennessee”

erichw1504's avatar

@diavolobella Holy crap, that is hilarious!

iamthemob's avatar

@mammal with the plot details – good show…!

mammal's avatar

@iamthemob i don’t really know what everyone’s on about, but i thought i’d join in anyway.

erichw1504's avatar

He Was My First, My Last, My Victim

diavolobella's avatar

“What the H*ll is that? No, Seriously. What the H*ll is that?”: a Moment of Fear Miniseries

The story of a woman who wakes up after a night spent with her mysterious new lover, to find that she’s grown a strange, unidentifiable appendage.

Dog's avatar

It would be on the golden years of fido. It would chronicle the dogs who are sent to shelters when they are old and the owner does not want to pay vet care or passes away. I would focus on the rescue Old Dog Haven and how each dog has a story to tell.

erichw1504's avatar

May Her Juices Flow Through Me

iamthemob's avatar

“Not Without My Recipes!”

The story of a woman who marries a foreigner, and returns with him to the man’s home country – a land subject to an oppressive culinary regime, and her subsequent fight to cook the food she loves for the man she now fears.

diavolobella's avatar

How Stella Got Her Anchovy Paste Back (the sequel to Not Without My Recipes)

erichw1504's avatar

“He is My Lover, My Girlfriend”

Story of a man’s first transsexual lover. Hilarity ensues, feelings are felt.

diavolobella's avatar

He Felt My Feelings Without Feeling My Felt: Fabric Store Betrayal

erichw1504's avatar

The “Not Without My Recipes Saga: Where I Found My Rolling Pin”

iamthemob's avatar

feelings are felt should be the tagline for the entire Lifetime Network, @erichw1504. bravo

diavolobella's avatar

“Sunday’s Kitten Has Far To Go”

erichw1504's avatar

She Felt My Feelings Where My Felt Feelings Belong. The Spin-off of “He Felt My Feelings Without Feeling My Felt: Fabric Store Betrayal”

iamthemob's avatar

PS – according to the community feed, this question is making fluther get owned right now. ;-)

erichw1504's avatar

My Kitty, My Lover

SundayKittens's avatar

Not Without My Hairball: The Sunday Kittens Story. Starring Tori Spelling as Sunday Kittens.

diavolobella's avatar

Not Without My Recipe For Felted Anchovy Paste: How Lives Interwine

diavolobella's avatar

Erichw1504: A Life Without Felt

iamthemob's avatar

“My Dear in Headlights”

After he loses his wife on Christmas Eve, a man drives through the night on a serial rampage against pedestrians…until he finds her between the couch cushions, along with the tv remote and .83 cents.

diavolobella's avatar

Bunnies of Passion: She Woke Up Fluffy

erichw1504's avatar

How I Felt Feelings No Longer: A Prequel to “Erichw1504: A Life Without Felt”

erichw1504's avatar

I Fell On It: The Story of My Pre-teen Pregnancy

iamthemob's avatar

“Not Without My Boniva!: The Sally Field Story.”

Sally Field, star of “Not Without My Recipes!” and its many sequels, tells her true story of how her bones attempt to liberate themselves from her body after they become tired of her many, many recent poor role choices.

diavolobella's avatar

I Fell On It Part Deux: Delivery Day

iamthemob's avatar

“He Felt Hungry Without Her Recipes: The @erichw1504 / Sally Field Crossover Event”

diavolobella's avatar

Boniva/Bonevil: When Supplements Attack

erichw1504's avatar

I Fell On It Part Three: My F*cked up Baby

SundayKittens's avatar

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

diavolobella's avatar

I Fell On It, The Next Generation

erichw1504's avatar

$#*! My Dead Grandfather Says: A Halloween Special

diavolobella's avatar

I’ve Fallen On It And I Can’t Get Up: The Senior Years

erichw1504's avatar

I’ve Fallen On It And I Couldn’t Get Up, So I Died: The Afterlife

erichw1504's avatar

My Next Bowel Movement: The Dramatic Story of My Grandfather’s Epic Journey to the Bathroom.

erichw1504's avatar

I think we’ve jumped the shark on the actual question, but I’m still having a lot of fun.

iamthemob's avatar

“My Prostate, My Enemy – The Bathroom Strikes Back.”

iamthemob's avatar

@erichw1504 – no we haven’t – this is exactly what Lifetime does with its titles

erichw1504's avatar

“My Colon, My Enemy – The Bathroom Strikes Back, Again”

erichw1504's avatar

“If I Could Turn Back Time: The Story of Why I Should Have Worn a Condom”

iamthemob's avatar

“If I Could Turn Back Time II: The Story of Why My Dad Should Have Worn a Condom”

erichw1504's avatar

“My Messy Toilet: The Story of My Explosive Diarrhea”

erichw1504's avatar

All Hope is Gone: The Time I Lost my Cellphone

6rant6's avatar

Lifetime? I’m thinking they’d go for “Women are all victims, and men are all pigs, except for a few nice ones who are going to get killed ever so soon.”

But what I’d actually like to see is, “She chose for looks and got what she deserved, an axe murderer!” aka “He had nice hair, but he was a brutal sadistic killer”.

erichw1504's avatar

My Child is Dumb: Why You Shouldn’t Smoke While Pregnant

mrentropy's avatar

My wife used to watch this channel and I found it to be the most depressing channel in the whole universe. If I were to actually create or write a script for Lifetime it would be funny and have a happy, uplifting, ending.

And…. they probably wouldn’t accept it.

CMaz's avatar

Shut up bitch: Married to a talking cat

erichw1504's avatar

If Only ChazMaz Loved Me: A Truely Gay Story

CMaz's avatar

:-) homogeneous

ucme's avatar

Hmm, searches for inspiration…..ah! Forrest Gump, life is like a box of ch…..lightbulb moment!
Sorest Rump A history of anal intercourse :¬)

erichw1504's avatar

My Last Chicken Nugget: The 50 Piece Meal

erichw1504's avatar

The Horny Elephant: My Last Zoo Visit

iamthemob's avatar

this is slowly becoming “Silly Porn Names” as opposed Lifetime Movie Names. ;-)

erichw1504's avatar

What is Seen Cannot Be Unseen: Goatse

erichw1504's avatar

No thanks to ucme!!!

erichw1504's avatar

The Troll: Why I Punched my Computer Screen

6rant6's avatar

Unmade by my maid: the Meg Whitman story.

erichw1504's avatar

It’s Tiny: Why I Put my Clothes Back On

ucme's avatar

A Womb With a View : The Origins of Life

CMaz's avatar

Two slices of bread: Labia Minora and lunch

erichw1504's avatar

PC Load Letter, Why I Was Beaten: The Story of the Infamous Copy Machine

iamthemob's avatar

Ah, Office Space…

perg's avatar

“The Toothpick Came Out Sticky: My Cake Nightmare.”

Response moderated (Spam)
MeinTeil's avatar

Lonely women in crisis part 1,000,000

AmWiser's avatar

The Baggage No One Wanted.

Dutchess_III's avatar

“My Husband’s Affair With His GPS Lady.”

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