Social Question

6rant6's avatar

What was the last inappropriate crush you had?

Asked by 6rant6 (13697points) November 9th, 2010

I think it’s an inevitable part of being a human being that we become spontaneously attracted to others. And sometimes that extends beyond our meeting – maybe we think about them, or hope that they’ll show up again where we first met them. Maybe we think we see them in the grocery store and are disappointed when it turns out to be someone else.

These crushes aren’t always appropriate. Maybe we’re already involved with someone. Or the person who ignites our pilot light is the wrong age – or wrong sex I suppose. Or their world view is so radically different than our that we would be a walking sitcom together.

Tell me about the last crush you had that made you worry about your sanity, or at least, made you laugh about what it is to be human.

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32 Answers

ducky_dnl's avatar

I have a crush on this guy who works at the hospital. I’m always hoping to see him. I think he’s in his 20s. I’ve seen him twice and he calls me “Girly girl girl”. He is sweet. I literally think of ways to injure myself to see him, but alas, I don’t go through with it.

Triozoo's avatar

I’m not entirely sure if this counts but when I had went to the dentist to have my annual check up, at a different firm that year, I was very much attracted to my dentist. I’m not sure what it was, I simply enjoyed his company and adored his physical features. –sigh I’ll only be able to see him once a year ahahaa unless I force cavities, which I don’t want. I later found out he was a family friend of ours, reson why my parents had recommended him to me, which didn’t help with my affection for him.

Edit: What makes this crush inappropriate is that he a well established adult while I’m still a student at university.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Every crush I have had in the last 6 years is technically inappropriate, since I’m married. Doesn’t mean I would ever act on them, but, they still happen.

TexasDude's avatar

A girl in a relationship already who lived 2000 or so miles away.

YoBob's avatar

Hmmm… Let’s see… I’m a flaming heterosexual male. That pretty much means that I am “spontaneously attracted to” and subsequently think about pretty much any attractive woman I meet. Further, since the harsh reality is that a pretty high percentage of those attractive women are 20 somethings and I am in my latter 40’s that makes basically all such “crushes” inappropriate.

So, in answer to the question “When was the last?”, I’d say within the past hour or so.

Frankie's avatar

I currently have a bit of a crush on one on my professors. Terribly cliche, I know…but in my defense, this is my fifth year of college and I’ve never had a crush on any of my professors until now! Anyway, besides the fact that he’s my professor, he’s also married, has two children, is in his 40s, and is not even really my “type” it’s inappropriate on about 12 different levels. I can’t really explain it, but there it is.

CMaz's avatar

I gave up on crushes.

Pam Anderson. If you are reading this. You are no longer welcome in my house.

just kidding, you know I love you

aprilsimnel's avatar

I had a crush on a guy who had a girlfriend, and he liked me too, except, he had a girlfriend. He left his girlfriend for a woman who very aggressively pursued him (sometimes in front of his gf) and they are still together today. For some reason, the alacrity and speed with which he dumped his old girlfriend for the new one without skipping a beat made me pause, and the crush died on the vine.

That episode made me wonder if I was being too moral in worrying about his (then soon-to-be-ex-) girlfriend’s feelings. Should I have just gone for him anyway? Would I have felt good about myself if I’d done what his current girlfriend did, or should I have just identified with “winning the prize”? Was he worth such behaviour? Is any man worth such behaviour?

Jude's avatar

Oh, about a month ago. An innocent crush, though. :)

I am in a relationship and love my girlfriend with all of my heart. I would never, in a million years, do anything with anyone else (I have no interest).

6rant6's avatar

@aprilsimnel My experience: you won’t have either better or worse luck with a relationship which you start in that “gray zone”. So for my money, I’d say you did the right thing. If you spoiled his relationship and it didn’t work out you’d have a reason to feel sleazy. You’re better off finding someone without the existing attachment.

BTW, if he succumbed to one hard charging woman when he was already attached, what makes you think he wouldn’t do the same to you?

Jude's avatar

I wanted to add that my crush was on a jelly.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I was wondering how fluther crushes fit into this.

Mikewlf337's avatar

I had one and it was a bad idea. Was it inappropriate? Not really. Was I punished for having feeling for her. Yes. You see when one has a crush on a woman who thinks she is the best thing to happen to this world and gets whatever she wants from the majority of the world population because they love her so much. When an undesirable has feelings for her it is a bad thing. I didn’t know I was undesirable until it was too late and she put up a great show faking kindness towards me. I lost alot from that experience and only gained wisdom. I know not to trust people. I have lost more than I had gained because I lost touch with many friends. I am still afriad to run into her in any place because I am afraid of what she may do. Leaving a person without closure is the worst thing you can do a person.

ucme's avatar

My nuts + kitchen drawer = inappropriate crush…....OWWWW!!! :¬(

KTWBE's avatar

In junior high, I was madly in love with my orthodontist, and it was the stuff of a romance novel for awkward teens.

He was Colombian, early 30s, fantastically sexy cologne. The handsome Zorro type, only he fiddled with my braces instead of my bra straps (much to my secret 13-year-old chagrin). Once a month, I was at liberty to gaze up at him for about half an hour as he leaned over me, tinkering with the metal on all of my teeth and telling me in his soft Spanish accent how good I was for keeping up with my headgear. “Anytime, Dr. Arango!” my quivering heart would think. “Any time!”

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

My last one was on a married professor. He has a crush on me too. We’re working on it.

Blueroses's avatar

The current “crush”. Too young, too far away, too disorienting, still drives me mad!

kimothyschma's avatar

I had a brief one on my boyfriend’s cousin once. It was embarassing and I felt a little guilty. But it went away pretty quickly. whew

6rant6's avatar

@YoBob I feel your pain.
But seriously, they aren’t all the same. Sure, we hope EVERY pretty girl is going to appear everywhere we go. But sometimes one vision rises to the top…

6rant6's avatar

@Mikewlf337 Closure. The great myth of our times.

YoBob's avatar

@6rant6 Agreed. Alas…the ones that rise to the top are often the most inappropriate.

Guess it’s just the nature of the beast.

Blondesjon's avatar


answerjill's avatar

Just about every semester, I get a little crush on one of my students. (I’m a teaching assistant at a university). It is inappropriate, as dating a student is unethical. Also, the poor unsuspecting guy is always way too young for me. It is totally innocent, however, and I would never act on it.

6rant6's avatar

@answerjill Seems to me that teaching (older students anyway) is perilous for that reason. You want to like your students; you want them to like you. Sooner or later (possibly sooner AND later) you’re going to get a crush. And if they are old enough and savvy enough to manipulate teacher… it’s 5 o’clock news time!

I volunteered at a local high school – tutoring. Some of the girls had their full arsenal of anatomical parts, but less to cover it up with than I’m used to seeing. The thing they lacked was the ability to talk like adults, so mostly I just felt paternal; when anything else occurred in the animal part of my brain, I just listened to them talk for two minutes and I was over it.

But I can imagine that if there were one student who had the brains and intentions of a fully-growed-up woman… it could be confusing.

littlekori's avatar

I have had and think i still do have a crush on my bestfriends ex boyfriend. Well we were best friends and her boyfriend liked me and i liked him and one day he kissed me. it happened a couple times and the girlfriend, my best friend at the time, found out. She got over it but it kept happening. Her and her boyfriend finally broke up. I have always felt bad about liking him and wanting to date him, but i cant help that feeling.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Does it count as a crush if we’ve already dated them? Because – and I realize it’s pitiful and stupid – I am still crushing on my ex, who is one of my best friends. It’s inappropriate because she’s dating someone, part of me is hoping they will break up, and I know that’s makes me a a bad friend because I should be rooting for her happiness.

6rant6's avatar

@MissAnthrope I have had conversation with several of my male (hetero) friends. We all confess that we have a nagging, unwanted yearning for our female friends NOT to find that special someone. It’s not that we don’t want them to be happy and fulfilled – we do! And it’s not that we have any conscious desire to be with them either. But there’s that lizard brain down in there hard at work.

I cannot tell you why we want that.

Of course as civilized, enlightened people we do our best to keep the lizard stowed away, and support their pursuit of a suitable mate. We say supportive things, and encourage them toward commitment when suitable mates offer themselves.

But still.


Neizvestnaya's avatar

One of my bosses, before he was a boss. Nothing inappropriate ever happened though, all in my mind only. What was tortuous is he was of great comfort during a horrible time for me and I had to keep my head not to be a ninny.

Kardamom's avatar

@KTWBE That was a great story and I really enjoyed your writing, so vivid! It reminded me of something David Sedaris might write. Have you ever thought of writing an autobiographical novel? Please relay more tales from your life.

Haleth's avatar

I have a small crush on a customer at work, but I’m hopelessly awkward and he seems to be very shy, so we aren’t able to have a conversation at this point. He comes in once a week or so and eats lunch alone. He always grins and waves at me, but hardly ever speaks up. My conversation-starting skills are like, “Hi! So, um… WEATHER, right?” I don’t want to bother the poor guy.

iLove's avatar

oooh…. I recently visited my BFF on the other coast and met her new BF. One night after she passed out and I ran into him in the kitchen (after a night of heavy drinking) I couldn’t stop fantasizing about him coming downstairs and making love to me on the couch while she slept. It was so intense that I had vivid dreams of this occurring all night, and waking up and going back to sleep only put me back into the same fantasy.

I felt terrible.

yankeetooter's avatar

Hmm…a certain professor I had.

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