General Question

love408's avatar

Why is it that people always want what they cant have, and when its there right in front of you,you dont want it?

Asked by love408 (147points) April 4th, 2008


Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

11 Answers

iSteve's avatar

I think it’s just human nature. We always seem to want what we don’t have.

Poser's avatar

I still want what I have.

iSteve's avatar

Well, okay so do I. I just want your stuff too!!!

Zaku's avatar

I don’t want either of your guys’ stuff. No offense.

I think the truism in the question is about wanting: there are two conditions and one word, which creates ironic truism-fun.

That is, wanting something you have is one way of being. Wanting something you don’t have is a different way of being. The fact they can be mixed in a truism with the same word want that resembles a common human frustration pattern, might be a red herring.

You don’t want what you have the same way you want what you don’t have, because they are two different conditions that just happen to use the same word. Nonetheless, it does point out something interesting about human nature: we’re wired to think about and actively go after what we don’t have and not think about what we do have, because we think we already have what we have, so there’s not much to think about or do.

So if you find yourself wanting someone to be excited about something they already have (e.g. your love) and not get more interested in something they don’t have (e.g. Samantha’s love), then you might want to look at making what they already have, still be interesting (e.g. try teasing them playfully so they have something fun to think about and do with what they have).

iSteve's avatar

Wow, that was cool Zaku!

skfinkel's avatar

Sounds like the making of a song to me.

susanc's avatar

Actually all people don’t always want what they don’t have. People who do always want
what they don’t have are people who haven’t really grown up. You gotta, gotta, gotta
learn to love what you do have. Oddly enough, when you do this, good things come to
you much more easily. Believe me. I have your best interests at heart in the sincerest possible way.

shared3's avatar

The always part isn’t true, but what I’ve read is that things that are perceived as in high demand, or difficult to obtain we naturally think is of higher quality.

snotty's avatar

In Psychoanalysis, the fantasy and desire for something is always a stronger emotion than when that desire is gratified. The fantasy of “what could be” is impossible to fulfill. If your really interested in this topic, and in particular its relationship to art/film check out Victor Burgins essay “Formations of Fantasy”.

Peanutjazz's avatar

Okay so i think that when you finally get what you want. The factor of wanting it so baddly is gone so unless you wanted it for the right reason it’s not going to have that excitiement factor anymore and you wont want it anymore. At least that’s how i am.

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