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Can you give me advice on this roommate conflict?

Asked by nikipedia (28072points) November 19th, 2010

My roommate and I were forced to move to another apartment in August because our old building was torn down.

Moving was really difficult. She owns literally about ten times as much stuff as I do. And of course there is a lot of community property (couch, TV, kitchen supplies) that I guess we co-own.

I moved everything I owned before she started moving. (She was out of town.) When she got back into town, I had to work during the day, but I came home and helped with what I could during the evenings. That meant she ended up moving some community property while I was at work, but I helped her with many things that were specifically hers in the evenings.

And she has been mad at me ever since. This was three months ago, and we have basically stopped being friends (which we were before the move). She now wants to have a “sit down” to discuss the move.

I agree with her we need to have a discussion, and this is the most adult way to handle it. My problems are: (1) I think she totally misperceived how much I actually did during (and after) the move and (2) Even if I had slacked off and let her do more than her share, it is insane to me to stay mad about it three months later.

So what is the most diplomatic way for me to handle this conversation? I am dreading having it and considering just offering to move out when we do talk.

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