Is the romance in my relationship gone for good?

Yes. Here it is. The question about the spark in romance. We’ve all probably been here once or even twice before. As I ask this question, I feel rather trivial. My boyfriend is a lovely person. He is sweet, attentive, caring, and I can trust him. There is just one problem. I feel married. We are both in our early 20s, he has finished his degree, and I am still completing mine.

About 6 months ago, he stayed at my apartment while I was away for a couple of weeks to feed my fish. Since I’ve returned, he hasn’t been gone for more than a night. Gradually, the toothbrush, shower gel, protein shakes, and clothes found a home within my home. Of course, you wonder how this could magically occur. I suppose these sort of things are overlooked, but after awhile, it becomes noticeable.

I hate that I feel this way. I know how rare it is to find a truly nice guy. So why am I not content? I feel like the constant arguing and battles over trying to make him hang up the bath mat and towels, or wash his dirty dishes, and picking up his things which spread through the apartment like a fire are completely smothering the spark in the relationship for me. He even insists that he must keep his rock climbing equipment in my bedroom. If not in there, in the living room. I’m not sure whats worse. The daily 5:00 am wakeup calls for him going to work also isn’t sitting pretty with me. I try to get passed this, but its terrible to be awakened and not be able to get back to sleep, and then have a long day ahead. Then when I get up in the morning, I find that he has left every light on in the apartment. It wouldn’t bother me, if we didn’t have a mammoth electric bill each month. He does contribute financially, but I feel like all of this is just so much to handle. I don’t know if I’m prepared to live like a married woman. I don’t even feel very interested in sex, and have started doing things more and more on my own, sometimes when he is even here, and I don’t even want to involve him. This is what worries me the most, because I am quite a sexual person. It just doesn’t feel like he is satisfying that need for me any more.

We have suggested he moves back home, and comes to visit instead of park himself here. We actually discussed it tonight, and he agreed to give it a try. The bad part is, a lot of me doesn’t want him to go. What if I don’t like being alone? Maybe its just me that is turning it all into a big deal? After all, with him here I have a companion, help, extra money. I just wish I didn’t feel so overwhelmed by all this. Is it just me, or is even distance not going to cure the spark I’m missing?