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john65pennington's avatar

What are some of the good things, in your relationship or marriage, that make you happy?

Asked by john65pennington (29187points) November 21st, 2010

Here on Fluther, 90% of the time, the questions are about cheating, adultrey, and mistrust for your boyfriend, husband or wife. It’s time now to ask the question: What is really great in your relationship or marriage, that makes you happy? This can be anything from sharing the household chores, grocery shopping together, respect for each other, sharing the bills, or just plain love for each other. So, what keeps you two together? The sky is the limit on your answers.

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34 Answers

BarnacleBill's avatar

What a nice question, @john65pennington! Extra lurve.

Facade's avatar

He’s actually taking the time to learn how to deal with me and my antics (which is no easy task).
We’re best friends.
We can laugh and joke about the stupidest things. Love that
The sex is great!

laureth's avatar

My husband is pretty wonderful, actually. Not only is he smart, he likes to spoon. He makes me breakfast on the weekends and gets the eggs and coffee the way he knows I like them. Whenever one of us gets up to do something, we often lean over as we pass each other and share a smooch or a hug or shoulder rub or some other little gesture of affection, and he actually whimpers like a puppy when I do that. It’s really, really cute. We hold hands everywhere we go, which is pretty much everywhere together. (We even work at the same place.) He’s considerate of my needs and wants, and whenever I mention that I want to do something, he tries (and often succeeds) in finding a way to make my wishes reality – everything from wanting to go to the garden store today, to trying to find a house with a yard big enough for me to garden in. My husband thoroughly rocks. And I love his long long hair.

I try to be good to him in return. I make foods he likes, and when we go out, I steer us to restaurants where he can find foods to enjoy. (He’s picky in some ways, one of the ways I show love is to make sure he gets what he can eat.) We have similar goals in life and feed off of each others’ energy like that, building it into something bigger and better. His ex-wife was a total harpy, so the “wonderfulness” bar has been set pretty low for me to reach, but I do the best I can, because I can see him doing the best he can by me.

Aethelwine's avatar

I was thinking of asking something like this myself. There have been so many depressing questions lately against marriage. I’m glad you asked!

I feel I am really lucky to have married my best friend. He gets me, and I think he knows more about me than I do. I love sharing my life with him. I couldn’t be happier.

CaptainHarley's avatar

The fact that we were best friends before we ever got romantic, and the fact that we are still best friends. ( I highly recommend this! ) The fact that we have always felt very comfortable with each other, even when we first met in person. The fact that we support each other completely in our goals and plans and work. The fact that we love working together, so that process importance is at least equal to task importance. The fact that we both have a highly developed sense of humor and the ability to laugh at oursevles. The fact that sex, although an important aspect of our relationship, does not rule our time together. The fact that, although we are very much alike, we also complement one another and thus the relationship is stronger than either of us would be alone. The fact that we both love to snuggle. The fact that we both have an acute awareness of the fragility of life and thus tend to live in the moment more than we otherwise might.

Great question, BTW. : ))

Seaofclouds's avatar

My husband is an amazing person. He loves me for who I am and even loves my quirks. I say I’m emotional, he says I’m passionate. We share household chores when he is home and he makes sure I know he appreciates all that I do here while he is away. We have a lot of things in common and have the same ideas of what we want out of our future. We are great at working together and solving problems. We both respect each other. He is my best friend and I am his.

He loves my son and is planning to adopt him (we’ve already started the paperwork). He has done so many things with my son and I consider myself very lucky for that.

While he’s been away, he has called or chatted as much as he could. He has also written a few letters and sent flowers a few times. I’m very grateful for that. I sent care packages as much as I could and I always have my phone nearby. In the time he’s been gone (over 10 months now), I’ve only missed one phone call and that was while I was at work and unable to get to the phone (and I cried when I got his message).

We are there for each other in every way we can be when we can be. If I have a bad day here, I know I can e-mail him and he will get in touch with me as soon as he can. If he has a bad day there, he knows I am always here for him and ready to listen when he needs someone to talk to.

One of the things I love the most is how we are always touching in some way when we are sleeping. We will fall asleep cuddling, but then each of us will move. Once we change positions, some part of our body will always be touching. Most of the time, it ends up being our feet. I just find it to be so amazing that even in our sleep, we want to be near each other.

My husband is also an amazing cook. He has so many wonderful recipes and he loves cooking. We have a great set up where he cooks and I clean most of the time. I have certain things that I always cook. He loves the way I make tacos and lasagna, so those things are always my territory. I’m also the baker in our family. I love baking goodies for us to enjoy.

I think I’ll stop there. I’ve found that spending almost a year away from my husband has made me miss so many things about him and I appreciate him so much. It’s really hard to explain, but it gets to the point where you realize that you miss things that use to be annoying (like clothes on the floor next to the clothes basket instead of in it). My husband is an amazing man and I am very lucky to have him in my life and that he chose to ask me to marry him. I consider myself to be one of the luckiest woman in the world because of him and the life we have together.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@Seaofclouds

You are blessed. You and your husband sound much like my wife and me, just happy as clams to be together. I know you don’t need to be told to hang onto this guy with both hands! : ))

jerv's avatar

The fact that my wife and I still enjoy each others company after so many years. Neither of us is particularly sociable and we often get pissed off at just about everyone else, but we still tolerate each other and actually enjoy spending time together.

I also like how we cover each others weaknesses.
I am impulsive while my wife is a compulsive planner who sometimes delays until it is too late to act. Together, we are decisive without being reckless.
I am excellent with numbers while my wife is good at figuring out the implications of those numbers and remembering details that I might forget. Together, we can make a workable budget
I am a hyperactive smartass, she is a worry-wart who stresses herself out. Together, we are well-adjusted.

Seaofclouds's avatar

@CaptainHarley Thank you, I truly am blessed and I plan to hang on to him as long as I can.

john65pennington's avatar

Some truly great answers. i love reading something thats good in life, instead of the bad. i have hat enough of that. i have read each answer and each has put a smile on my face. its good to know that two people can still be partners for life. love your answers. john

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Great to read all your answers. A wonderful sense of relief to see the opposite side of the coin. May your marriages continue to blossom, thrive and grow from love to endless love.
Enjoy each other and walk together till the end!

CaptainHarley's avatar

And God grant the end will be later rather than sooner.

marinelife's avatar

When we were in bed yesterday, we were laughing together before making love. I love that we can do that.

We love traveling together—especially road trips.

We love spending time with friends.

We even love doing errands together.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@marinelife

Yayyy! Another couple who are best friends too! : D

JLeslie's avatar

I think my husband is fantastic. I respect him so much. The career he has forged for himself, his ambition, his focus, his work ethic. He also is an honest man. When he backed into a car and made a small dent in the middle of the night with no one around, he left a note with his information. I never wonder where he is, he always calls if he is running late, which is rare, I never have to worry. I feel like we share everything, know each others faults and all of the good things too. We have always been very united on how we spend and save money. He spends more than would typically be comfortable for me, because he buys some big expensive things like cars, but we always talk about it first, I can’t imagine him ever spending more than $200 without asking me first. Not just cars, but even tv’s, clothing, phones, anything. He is the bread winner now, in the beginning of our marriage we made very similar salaries, and over time his became double, and in the last few years I have earned very little, but that does not seem to affect how we spend our money, we have always had all of our money combined.

I love his company, love listening to him, his ideas. Love that he always wants me with him. When he decided to take golf lessons, he asked me to take lessons to. When his work has a party or a box at the baseball stadium, he always wants me to come too. When he goes racing, he wants me there too.

JLeslie's avatar

Oh, and I love that he can be critical of me at times. Some things that I know I need to work on, he points out when I am falling into a bad pattern, and helps me be more self aware. Things he knows I want to work and in the end causes me more stress, because of how I think about things. He looks at decision making and difficult relationships slighty different than me, he seems better at handling these things, and gives me insight, an angle I am not accustomed to.

downtide's avatar

That my partner loves me, and is my best friend, no matter what.

rooeytoo's avatar

I love that we can giggle together. I love the way when he leaves in the morning he gives me this silly little finger wiggling wave that could look so lame but he somehow looks so cute when he does it (not many 70 year old men can pull off looking cute at anything!). I love the way he loves our dogs. I love the way he hugs and kisses his adult sons when they visit. He is my mate!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

We both feel fidelity is the ultimate honor to offer each other, it’s not a work-at-it thing or a settling thing.

We both feel it’s important to go to bed happy & snuggly.

My guy thinks I’m great which makes me think he’s great too.

marinelife's avatar

@CaptainHarley Yes, we are. We were friends before we were lovers.

Seelix's avatar

He’s my best friend.
We honestly do finish each other’s sentences.
Silliness is as important in our relationship as anything else.
We hate all the same things.

And one specific thing that came to mind: a few years ago when I had to put my cat, Esme, down (we had been living together for a few years at that point, but because I had had her for 8 years, I still considered her “my” cat rather than “our” cat), I was very upset and crying in the vet’s office. The vet gave her the injection, waited a few minutes with us, then left the room so we could have some time alone to say goodbye. Still crying pretty uncontrollably, I picked up the little tuft of fur that was on the table from when the vet had shaved Esme’s arm, and wrapped it in a tissue and asked my fiance, “Is it morbid for me to keep this?” And he said, “If you weren’t going to take it, I was.”

YARNLADY's avatar

We have so much in common that we barely have to finish what we are saying. It can be a problem, though. Just yesterday, he said to me son that something (specific) was going to happen, and I said, no something (in general) isn’t until next month. My son laughed and said we were both right, only talking about two different things.

We have the same opinions about religion, politics, child raising and economics, so there is very little to argue about. When we do argue – well, heh heh, it’s only one way, because he refuses to argue. Any difference of opinion is resolved by talking it over later.

We’ve been married for 36 years and expect to stay married until the end of our days.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@marinelife

Isn’t it wonderful! Vicky and I became friends first, then best friends, and then became romatically entangled. : D

OpryLeigh's avatar

We laugh a lot, we talk a lot and we have sex a lot. I find his mind and his body incredibly attractive and, apparently, he feels the same about me.

We were also best friends before anything else, I agree that this is a great way to start a romantic relationship.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t think I can ever write down enough words to give justice to how I feel about my partner. I loved him before I saw his picture (we met online) because he was incredibly intelligent, open-minded and capable of grasping concepts that were new to him (which proved incredibly important for our relationship and our future). He always made me laugh and he continues to do so every single day. I always felt that he was behind me, my light and sunshine and support. He left everything behind to move here and be with me. He is incredibly responsible and a very functional human being that has far too many talents to list here. He is able to conceptualize and then create many kinds of projects (right now, btw, he’s working on building a bamboo car from scratch). He’s a builder, a musician, a beautiful soul. When he plays guitar or writes songs for me, my heart aches for him. We were never each other’s types but belonged to each other against all odds, from the very beginning. When we finally met, we found each other’s home. The first night we spent together, he fell asleep on top of me and has fallen asleep that way since (and I never wanted to be touched or snuggled with in my sleep). He allowed me to grow as a person, as a parent, to be more confident and has supported any and all of my ambitions. He is an incredibly kind human being, very giving and very patient and I always say he’s a much better person than I am. He is an incredible father to both of our sons (one of which he’s fathered since he was 1, from my previous marriage) and is the person that makes sure everyone in the family is fed and taken care of. He makes me breakfast and lunch every day and writes “I love you more than anything!” (with a smiley face) on the napkin that he puts in with lunch. He joins me for hip-hop class even though he’s never danced in his life and it’s all he can do to keep from falling down. He is my soulmate, my equal, my everything and I am incredibly blessed to have him in my life – he is the reason I know what true love is, what true communication is and I know that he is always willing to hear me out and to move the both of us forward. He is also incredibly beautiful and sexy, no matter how long his hair or how many tattoos. I am turned on by him 24/7 and literally can’t keep my hands off him. He’s open sexually, open to new feelings and experiences and satisfies me in every way because he hears me and wants to be the best partner for me and I want to be the best partner for him. Together, we have built a life that centers on principles, on integrity and focuses on our children and our own personal development. We’ve had bumps but they made us better, stronger, we know we will only improve as we continue to grow together. I don’t know, I just love him to death, you know? Like, he’s the best thing that ever happened to me, made everything worth it and if I live not a second longer, I can die happy because I’ve had the privilege to be loved by him.

JeanPaulSartre's avatar

Whew, done crying from reading @Simone_De_Beauvoir‘s answer aside… I’m gonna write this the only way I can… (Also, no dying, rule 1)

My partner and I…
holding on to comet tails…
always asking why,
and dancing as though on sails.

None can speak between
they know the rest…
that our worst is unseen
and better than their best.

My love fights
always inspired
for social rights
of the less desired

My equal smiles
and no matter my mood
I’m lifted for miles
from Hell to far better than good

And though my rhymes may stink
I know my love will read
and I know my love will think
only for her would I do such a deed.

Basically the good things in my relationship can’t be listed in any respectable way… but the things that always stick out for me… love; partners in raising our children to be intelligent, caring people; amazing mind fuck conversations; amazing sex those sometimes go hand in hand; a mutual rock to stand against the current of stupidity in the world; social justice; a place for ideals to grow and be tested; a safe home; soulmates; nights that sometimes turn too short because we’re talking and laughing well past the point where it’s even wise; the wind and rain in our faces and freezing while we laugh and run home; that my home is hir and hir home is me.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@JeanPaulSartre You’re love. And if this is what we write after a day like yesterday, I think we’re good to go.

JeanPaulSartre's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir You’re love. And truly. <3

CaptainHarley's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir

This is a side of you of which I have been totally unaware. It has changed my opinion of you greatly for the better. : ))

CaptainHarley's avatar

Um… you’re welcome? ; )

Blondesjon's avatar

There is not other human being on this planet that would tolerate my me-ness like the woman I married. Couple this with the fact that she is the greatest mother to my kids in the world and I would say @jonsblond is hands down the very best thing that ever happened to me.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@Blondesjon

Yayyy! : ))

God, I love this Question! : D

Thank you again, Mr. Pennington! : ))

beccagolling's avatar

I am very thankful to have my fiance. He makes me feel loved and cheers me up when ever I need it. And I do the same for him. He’s my best friend…I’m open with him about everything and anything. I am so thankful to have him in my life and to have meet him. If it wasn’t for him my life would be hard..but just knowing he loves me, puts a smile on my face! =) He is just the sweetest guy I ever meet. He helps me out with my troubles and doesn’t care if I call him when he’s busy just because I need someone to cry to. We support each other.

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