General Question

babygalll's avatar

Why do people purposely try to get under your skin?

Asked by babygalll (2753points) April 5th, 2008

They know it bugs you and they continuously do it. I am not talking about one thing. I am talking about many things.

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11 Answers

scamp's avatar

Some people are so desparate for attention, they will get it any way they can. It’s pretty pathetic, but it happens all the time.

Robby's avatar

Sometimes it’s just in there personality. It could be intentional or unintentional. Some do it for the attention and, some do it because they can.

susanc's avatar

Babyg, now that you know WHY they do it (because scamp and robby got it figured out for you), would you like to know what to do about it? Ask fluther. I know we can fix this.

babygalll's avatar

What can I do about it?

sndfreQ's avatar

Find another way to channel that aggression; exercise self control, and if those options don’t work, them tell that person how you feel and why.

babygalll's avatar

I do have self control. I try not to let it bother me, but it is constantly in my face. I have told them many many many times that it gets on my nerves, but they don’t seem to care.

Response moderated
sndfreQ's avatar

Then get away from that person; your ‘many things’ concept seems to be personality-based rather than issue-based. If you can’t maintain objectivity then you have a personal bone to pick with that person IMO.

Also, if this person is someone in your work environment, talk to an HR representative rather than taking it up with that person-confronting them can be misinterpreted as harassment (you harassing them), esp. if that person is in a position of authority.

IAC, if the situation is appropriate, set up a meeting with that other person and a mutually recognized neutral moderator, and have a civil discussion face to face about specifics incidents rather than general behaviors.

Lastly, you can research conflict resolution strategies (Internet) prior to meeting that person face to face. It could also help you to learn to use “I” statements (another conflict resolution technique).

Avoiding the issue/person may only exacerbate the problem for you, while that person goes a-happily trucking along and irritating you!

Bri_L's avatar

I would suggest it is in an effort to make themselves feel better or bigger in comparison to your reaction. I have a twin brother who built his entire High school life on that.

Others, they can’t succeed by achievement, or don’t think they can, so they try to succeed by your failure.

If you know they are pushing your buttons, try to be hyper aware of why and it truly almost becomes comical in that they are that desparate. ESPECIALLY as adults.

kristianbrodie's avatar

Haruki Murakami goes for a run whenever people get under his skin – link – maybe give that a go?

philosopher's avatar

They usually unhappy with themselves.

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