It's three in the morning, you are awoken by a loud banging on your front door, what would be the first thing they would see?

A naked woman pointing a gun at their chest.;)

@lucillelucillelucille Kinky :¬)

Probably an angry fiance in his underwear with a baseball bat.

A confused man wondering why someone is having sex on my front door.

A girl in sweatpants and a t-shirt holding a softball bat in the left hand, and a knife in the other.

not gonna lie, I wake up with a stiffy, they’re the ones going to be befuddled once I open that door

Publisher’s Clearing House with cameras and crew ready to present my check for 20 million dollars.
Ooops! I read the question wrong. My badd! That’s the first thing I would want to see:D

A naked woman pointing a shotgun at their chest. My wife does not like being woken up at that hour. ;)

Nothing. I wouldn’t open the door.

@J0E Nah, I don’t think they’d give you a seconds thought, way too busy.

Since our alarm goes off between 4.30–4.45am every day (inc weekends thanks to the small furry alarm clock we have called Jade who wants walkies) the first thing they’d see would be a very cheesed off hubby not entirely happy about losing some of his very precious sleep, closely followed by me in jammies hair like an unruly haystack holding said furry alarm clock and demanding to know who the hell it was and that somebody better be dead. I get very very little sleep, hubby about the same and so its fair to say that whoever it was would be sorry lol :-)

They’d see my door. No way would I open it without knowing who’s there.

@bunnygrl “unruly haystack”..... hilarious XD

@ucme more like looking like I’d been dragged through a hedge backwards actually. Jade likes to sleep on my head, she has her own bed but prefers mummy’s pillow (and hair) instead :-)

Α head sticking out of an upstairs window. No one would ever knock on this door uninvited, much less at 3:00 AM. Area behind the white pine trunks
shows top ⅓ of my driveway.

My family or close friends would simply walk in. No locks here.

@bunnygrl Aww, I bet you look ridicu…....adorable all the same :¬)

They would continue to see the door and hear a very irritated “Go the hell away!”

@ucme nope, you nailed it first time lol. I could frighten the proverbial horses, hammer horror has nothing on me lol. As I said I get very little sleep so god help anybody (except Jade) who makes me miss any of it. Since she’s only 8 months old I’m hoping that she’ll maybe grow out of it, actually found a tiny bit of rawhide chew a couple of mornings ago while brushing my hair. Ewww doesn’t cover it really, its as well she’s loved as much as she is :-)
huggles xx

A fire all around me with Chinese maintenance staff and I left encircled because we were the ones forgotten about.

A girl in pajama pants and a tanktop holding a knife.

That happened to me once. At the time we all slept in the living room, me on the couch, the kids on the floor. Banging on the door at 3 a.m. There was a “drunk” woman standing there yelling about some guy who was after her because she wouldn’t give him some kind of sex, and would I call the police to give her a ride home. I was half asleep and not processing well at all, and she was really scared so I let her in. I called the police. They took her, and berated me for even answering the door! (Yeah. Duh Val.) I said, “It’s weird because there is no car in the driveway (my ex had it at the time) so….how would she have even known I was home?”
Cops said, “Yeah. THINK about THAT.”
Scared the crap out of me when I did think about it. The kids never even woke up, even though it all went down right in front of them!

probably a pissed off dog.

I would be pointing my gun at the door hoping and praying that the first thing they see is the guns being pointed at them by the cops, because I sure as hell ain’t opening the door.

Me answering the door normally. 99% chance its a friend or family member with an urgent problem. If they are trouble, they either have a gun or dont. If they do, going to the door armed will only make things worse for me, and if they have anything less than a gun then they have a very good chance of eating hospital food.

I live in a tiny little town, in 27 years I have heard of 2 murders in my area, when I lived in the UK, there where several within one year on just one street, and even that was considered a safe street. The biggest criminals you will find here are pill pushers in night clubs.

I’d probably just open the door because anyone who finds my house at that hour is most likely in trouble of some sort. I live way off the beaten path.

Pretty much just the door. Whatever it is they can leave it on the welcome mat. Whatever they’ve done they probably deserve to sleep out there. And if I don’t know you, I’ll call the police for you from my cell phone inside.

The next morning, though, I’m going to have a serious conversation with my doorman.

A pissed off naked woman with a butcher knife and a phone ready to dial 911.

Me, with my Glock 40 and verbally advising them of their Constitutional Rights, before pulling the trigger.

This is pure honesty.

They wouldn’t see anything. I’d grab a knife from my kitchen, hide, and call police. If they enter that’s a whole nother story. The first thing they’d see is a massive knife up against their throat.

@Dutchess_III That must have been bloody scary <hugs> with the kids home as well. You know it wasn’t till I read your answer that I actually thought about whether it was wise too open the door at night, even with hubby and Jade here. I haven’t ever given a second thought to anything other than being annoyed at being woken during the night, but you’re right, it’s a mad mad world we live in I suppose. Does anyone else think the world was safer when we were kids?
huggles xx

Depends on the context, because this has happened to me before…. three times, each with different situations and different responses on my part.

One situation was a friend of mine who was having a nervous breakdown at 4 in the morning. I responded with open arms.

The second situation was a bunch of police officers with submachine guns who proceeded to ask me if my neighbors were home. I told them I didn’t know and went back inside.

The third situation was a tall, muscular bald guy who was peering in the peephole of my door. He had a heavy chain in his pocket. I camped out behind the door with my 12 gauge until he finally left.

So as you can see, it depends on the context. I am always certain to assess a situation before I respond to it. In case of potential home invasion, I always have an effective firearm within reach. In case of a friend in need, I never hesitate to get up to help them. And in case of the fuzz showing up, I’m prepared to help them with what they need. or ask for a warrant.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard This is exactly so. The premise of my question was to display honest & okay, funny imaginative answers. Interesting how the majority chose to assume malice was afoot….well at the door anyway. Could just as easily have been a damsel in distress so to speak. Still good stuff though, I mean i’m not complaining. Oh no no no, we can’t be having that.

The police if they hung round long enough

@ucme, haha, I figured you were aware of as much. I just felt like going the extra mile in my details. ;-)

It has never happened, but they would see me albeit a bit towsled and drowsy looking.

My partner, with a bokken in his hands.

My dog’s huge tongue. She loves company and will lick anyone to death before finding out if it is friend or foe. If they look beyond her, they will see me with pepper spray in one hand and a phone dialing 911 in the other, because it would have to be an emergency if anyone were beating at my door at that time.

A fist giving an upper to their gooch, followed by a roadhouse kick to the face.

What kind of neighborhood do you guys live in? I’ve never had anyone knock on the door that late with bad intentions. I’ve had car accident survivors bleeding on the porch, relative’s telling me my uncle was killed in a car accident, and someone that got stuck in the snow.

@Adirondackwannabe I live in a seemingly quiet but very creepy and bad neighborhood. And the psychos from halloween haven’t left yet so if someone is at your door that early in the morning you better be prepared for a psycho killer with a machete.

@daytonamisticrip OK. That kind of sent a chill down my spine. Where’s my gun? :)

I took it from you muhahahaha and their coming to get you!

@Adirondackwannabe, I live in the meth capital of the world.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I guess I’ll stick with my peace and quiet and my nature. As I think of it, I’ve had more wildlife on my porch than people.

@Adirondackwannabe, I would live where you do, if I could. I live in the boondocks. More cows than people in some places, but it also happens to be the center for meth production in the whole world. Meth is the crack cocaine of the backwoods.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard We have enough of that around here. They use some of the agricultural chemicals to make it, so what you’re saying makes sense. I’m hijacking the thread. Back to what they’re going to see.

Before anyone could bang on my door, they would have to break their way through the locked gates that block the entrance to the courtyard and the porch, so the police would already be on their way.

My 1,000-pound test, heavy-duty, and locked screen door.
When I open my front door, I can see out the screen door but they can’t see in, so I wouldn’t be opening it.

@Dutchess_III

“They took her, and berated me for even answering the door!”

Did they seem annoyed at you, or were they nice about it?

Since my husband is always still up at that hour, I imagine he would look out the peekhole and speak through the door to ask the person’s business. I doubt that he would open the door unless it was somebody with an official reason.

If my son hadn’t come home yet, there might be a reason.

If they feel like sticking around, they can see me at around 8 AM. Otherwise I guess they’ll have to break down the door.

The outside light coming on as I turn it on so I can look out to see who it is before I open the door. Once I open the door, they’d see me in my pajamas (or whatever I found to throw on depending on what I was wearing to bed). Being woken up wouldn’t bother me.

Well, I’d look in the peephole to see what the fuck was going on. I’d go from there, depending on what I see.

What I’d like to say though, is they would see the door slowly open and creak to open on nothing but darkness, and the flash of a white face that strangely looks like William Shatner lol.

A troop of dancing girls wearing dracula costumes.

Oh. And zombies. I have zombie guard dogs. Who knew?