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ucme's avatar

Do you think a wildebeest knows it's hideously ugly & therefore throws itself at the mercy of a lion out of self pity?

Asked by ucme (45780points) December 2nd, 2010

It’s asking for conjecture & hearsay I know, but I do value your opinions all the same. Wildebeest it seems to me, serve only one purpose in life. That is to be fundamentally the staple diet for lions, cheetahs, hyenas, crocodiles etc. Now, far be it for me to cast aspersions toward their aesthetic prowess, but they’re not exactly the adonis of the animal kingdom now are they? My question is of course tongue in cheek & not intended to offend any wildebeest fans out there. If it has then you have my sincerest & heartfelt apologies.

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21 Answers

wundayatta's avatar

The Wildebeest is a flaccid creature with two hearts. Unfortunately, due to a lack of bones, it is completely unsuited to the African Savannah. It would live, far more appropriately in Dr. J’s abode, except Dr. J. seems to have a predilection for humans, not wildebeests.

The wildebeest has never seen itself in a mirror. It only sees other wildebeests, and then promptly loses its lunch. It is this upchucked lunch (cranberry tea and kiwi tart) that attracts the notice of the predators, who, upon arriving at the scene, grow confused and start snapping about in the air, as if chasing large mosquitos. It is, in fact, a pheromone the wildebeests give off that cause the lions and hyenas (chettahs seem to be immune) to behave this way.

Unfortunately for the wildebeests, the lion’s jumping around often tears through their skin, and as soon as the pheromones have cleared the air, the lions settle down to feast.

Some people hypothesize that this is the wildebeest committing suicide. Others say that I’m totally off my rocker.

TexasDude's avatar

There is some straight up KGB code talking going on here. I might have to call the FBI.

chyna's avatar

Aw, this question made me sad. No one is that ugly, man or beast.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Yes, it’s a proven fact. Poor hideous bastards.

Trillian's avatar

Uh… no.

wundayatta's avatar

And a foven pract, @WillWorkForChocolate. Don’t forget your practs, foven or not.

iamthemob's avatar

The wildebeest is wondering the same thing about you

Coloma's avatar

@ucme

Put down the bong! lol

JilltheTooth's avatar

I think they’re kinda cute, and I like their other name…Gnu…

marinelife's avatar

To wildebeests, they are beautiful and lions are ugly. For every one that goes into a lion’s maw, many others live long and happy wildebeest lives.

ucme's avatar

@marinelife This is true, that I will concede.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@wundayatta Yes, how right you are to point that out.

@JilltheTooth No, no, no.. it’s “Ni” for crying out loud, “Ni”, not “Nu”!!! Oh wait… nevermind.

Coloma's avatar

” Everything is beautiful, in it’s own way….” chorus anyone?

ucme's avatar

“I’d like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony…..it’s the real thing! :¬)

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

They are just trying to get out of paying their taxes ;)

ucme's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille You’ve nailed it….had to be a reason why :¬)

thekoukoureport's avatar

I think it’s more a self esteem thing. When one does not feel loved by the other wildebeests they just stop running….... sigh…... what good is life, goodbye cruel wwwwwwwgh!

ratboy's avatar

Their motives are strictly altruistic—they give their lives that warthogs and naked mole rats (a.k.a. toothed ambulatory penises) may live. The sated lions will ignore the suicidal shenanigans of the latter.

Rhodentette's avatar

I don’t think the wildebeest is ugly at all, and I’ve seen lots of them. The only animal I would even take a stab at saying is maybe a little less aesthetically pleasing than others is the maribou stork.

Lions also snack on buffalo, kudu, young eland, bushbuck, and a bunch of other herbivores, so it’s not like wildebeest are their only food source.

Coloma's avatar

I happen to adore Naked Mole Rats…damn cute little ugly things.

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