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heartofgold2010's avatar

High School sweethearts get together 5 years later to try to give it another chance. Chances of it lasting?

Asked by heartofgold2010 (13points) December 2nd, 2010

Recently this girl I know she just got back with her ex over Thanksgiving Break after being apart for 5 years after dating for 1 year in high school. She has sort of had it rough with guys since then as her last boyfriend cheated on her so it’s hard for her to trust someone. I guess she has been talking to her boyfriend from high school off/on for the past 5 years even when they were both dating others and they have decided to give it another chance. She is saying they are the love of each others’ lives, she loves him, they both grew up since high school and want to make things work and give it a shot again. Granted one lives in WV and the other in Chicago and her boyfriend looks like the player type based on his facebook pictures.

What are the odds of this working? I have a feeling this girl is going to get heartbroken again, especially since the guy in question lives far away and like I said is obviously the player type.

This sort of came out of nowhere too, because she’s always on Twitter saying how she would never get back with an ex, how she hates the player types, and doesn’t believe in long distance relationships.

Should I get my shoulder ready for her to cry on?

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20 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

The same as any other relationship. They’re not the same people they were 5 years ago.

marinelife's avatar

Why not look on the positive side and wish her well? It is quite possible for high school sweethearts who lost touch to get back together successfully.

heartofgold2010's avatar

Because the guy is a player and seems to just be using her? If you look at his fb pictures he is with a different girl in every one. And if you take in the long distance thing it’s easy for him to get away with it.

The girl has admitted to me that she is still in love with him and never got over him. She is easy prey.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@heartofgold2010 So, obviously, you have other information and don’t think there are any chances of it working out – why bother asking this question?!!

heartofgold2010's avatar

wow. who pissed in your cornflakes?

Coloma's avatar

I hooked up with my high school love 28 years later and it ‘worked’ for two years.

He was still incredibly handsome and sexy at 48 as he was at 20, but..alas, it was not meant to be, again. hahaha

Two only, strong willed children, with differing energies and living an hour apart with opposing lifestyles, but, the great physical connection and humorous compatability was just as intact as it was at 16 and 20.

‘Work’ does not necessarily mean FOREVER, a word that should be eliminated from relational vocabulary IMO.

We are still great friends and spent the day together yesterday playing in the snowy mountains and he brings me presents all the time, just because. ;-)

I think the friendship is much better than the romance. But, this is the voice of maturity speaking. ;-)

Kardamom's avatar

Long distance relationships are always a huge gamble. You never really know the other person because you aren’t living a life with them day in and day out. If he’s really a player, like you think he is, then it is highly likely that he will play on her vulnerablility because she’s an easy target. He probably does like her, but if he’s a player, he probably likes all sorts of other women too.

Has your friend seen the pictures of him on FB with the other women? If she has and is making all sorts of excuses for him, she’s a goner.

You could attempt to help her before that happens by asking her some questions like: Do you think he’s a player and if not, why not? Did he say that he wants to be mutually exclusive with you? Is he planning on moving to your city? She’ll probably give it a go with him anyway, since she already said that she’s still in love with him. That’s too bad because she will likely get hurt again.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Pictures with other woman does not necessarily make him a player. I use to have a ton of pictures of me with a bunch of different guys, they were all friends and nothing more. Pictures alone don’t necessarily mean anything.

Things could work out or they could crash and burn, but only time will tell. As someone that was in a successful long-distance relationship, I will say that they can work out. They are different from local relationships and they take a bit more communication and effort on both people’s ends, but if they are willing to do what they need to do to make it work, it can work.

Since you are so certain it’s not going to work out, go ahead and prepare yourself to be a shoulder for her, but for your friendships sake, I’d avoid constantly telling her it’s not going to work. Often times, people in love (or who believe they are in love) will end up cutting out the people that constantly put down their relationships.

heartofgold2010's avatar

Yeah she’s seen them… Anyone can see them, his profile is public. lol Having pictures is one thing, but when you’re kissing up on other girls in them that’s another thing. I don’t even know the kid, but a facebook picture can tell a 1,000 words. I’m sorry if you have pictures were you are popping your collar that just screams “hey look i’m a douchbag!”...

I agree I should ask some questions and just be there and let it play out.

zenvelo's avatar

A friend of mine went to his five year reunion and saw the girl he’d taken to the senior prom. He had not seen her or talked to her since graduation from high school. They began dating, and got married, they’ll have been married 30 years next June.

I actually think that has a better chance of success than somebody reconnecting on facebook or classmates.

Supacase's avatar

Maybe it will be good for her even if they do break up. I had a friend who was heartbroken after a breakup that had happened years ago. She moved on, but she still thought he was The One and there would always be that regret. They found each other again through FB, started dating and she realized that he was not as perfect as she remembered him. She saw how he was disrespectful, unreliable and unfaithful he really was. After that, she was able to put him in her past for real – no more romanticizing what could have been.

john65pennington's avatar

I think she told the truth on Facebook, concerning long distance relationship and player-type people. she has changed in midstream, simply because an old flame is coming back into her life.

I do wish both of them the best of luck, but like you stated, once a playboy, always a playboy. i see tears in her future with this person. by the way, do i sense that you have feelings for this girl? you seem to to be really concerned for her welfare for some reason?

heartofgold2010's avatar

It’s kind of a weird situation between us… I live in NY so we are like in a long-distance friendship mode where we text, phone, and respond to each other’s twitter updates, and occasionally get together to do things.

We say we don’t see each other in a relationship together, but it seems if one of us is doing something with someone, the other gets pissed at the other for doing it and questions it.

Like I said I only have known her for 6 months so I’m trying to establish a good friendship with her. She’s a cool person, but at this point a relationship is just not feasible, especially with her ex involved!

Can something happen some day? Sure why not! But I just don’t want this girl to get hurt again and that’s the me wanting to be her friend part speaking!

Zyx's avatar

You’re watching a car crash in slowmotion, but there’s nothing you can do. And it’s worth asking yourself if the mangled mess that’s going to come crawling out of that wreck is someone you think is worth your time. If you’re into that sorta thing though: remember to get her tested, car crashes spread STDs like crazy. That’s solid advice, or my name isn’t none of your business. Well, my name won’t be any of your business anyway, but you get what I’m saying.

Seaofclouds's avatar

@heartofgold2010 Are you interested in her as more than a friend? It kind of sounds like it from your last response and if that’s the case, perhaps that is why you believe so strongly that it won’t work and that he isn’t any good for her. Your feelings for her add to your feelings about him as well.

Either way, the only option you really have is to be there as a friend and let her learn from her own mistakes (if it is indeed a mistake).

chasy's avatar

The chances of any relationship lasting are directly proportionate to the effort and time that is put into the relationship. ;)

heartofgold2010's avatar

I’m not interested in more than a friendship.

Lorenita's avatar

Many chances.. if it’s true love, it doesn’t matter how long it’s been.. true love lasts forever

heartofgold2010's avatar

I’ll predict it’s over with by March, or they get engaged at that point. Time will tell. lol

shoebox's avatar

Can’t say,

relationships, long lasting ones or love happen in any way shape or form and at any time… even the ones that last till the end of your days!

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