How do you find people to talk to?

When I say, “talk to,” I don’t mean chit-chat. I mean talking to someone about everything; about the truth in your life, including the things you hide from everyone else, for whatever reason.

I do it by hiding in plain sight. Like I’m here on fluther, and yet no one knows who I am. I try to tell the truth here, but there are still things I am uncomfortable talking about except in private with someone I trust more than anyone else.

Yet I can never hold onto these people. It’s gotten to the point where I tell people up front that there’s really no point in getting to know me because I’ll only push them away in the end. Maybe that’s what I’m telling myself—there’s no point in being known because I can’t take it in the end. I can’t hold onto my relationships. I don’t trust anyone, perhaps myself least of all.

Maybe my question is really, “how do you keep people you build relationships with?” Probably I can’t even write the question right because I have no clue what I am talking about.