Social Question

MissAnthrope's avatar

Ladies, how would you feel if a random woman told you you were beautiful?

Asked by MissAnthrope (21462points) December 8th, 2010

I know you guys already think I’m weird and I think this may make you think I’m really weird, but I have this compulsion to compliment people, because I like to think it might make them feel good. I don’t believe in false flattery, so when I compliment, I’m spurred because the person has something I genuinely admire. What I compliment varies and is something I sincerely like, like an item of clothing or their hair. Sometimes, though, I see a beautiful woman and I really, really want to tell her, but I’m afraid I’ll come off as a huge weirdo. Or it’ll creep her out. What I’m going for would be to make her feel good, not to freak or to weird her out.

The reason I want to so much is because, as a woman, I know that many of us wander around with insecurities. I know a lot of women, even if they’re beautiful, don’t think so. So my thinking is that I want to do a small deed to make a stranger feel good, maybe brighten their day, as that sort of compliment tends to.

I’m tomboyish, pretty normal-looking, kind of unassuming, and I must generally look like a nice person because random strangers approach me all the time to ask me things. I mention this because if I looked like this, your answer would probably be different.

So, I’m wondering if a fairly normal-looking woman approached you and gave you a brief, genuine compliment like, “I just wanted to tell you that I find you to be very beautiful”, smiled, and then let you be, what would you feel? Is that creepy or would that make you feel good?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

34 Answers

harple's avatar

I would be hugely flattered, but would also wonder if it was a come-on? That said, it would definitely leave me with a smile for the rest of the day. To be honest, I’d probably want to then ask you for coffee!

On the same note however, I had a huge ongoing falling out with an ex (male) where I was trying to explain to him that women don’t necessarily take care of how they look/dress in order to get attention from men so much as to NOT be judged by other women… does that make sense???

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’d be very flattered. For some reason, I take compliments from other women (I’m female) as being more genuine than from males. Women have said very nice things to me on occasion and I’ve a few times done the same. That I know of… no one’s been creeped out :)

augustlan's avatar

Flattered, if a tad bewildered.

@harple I’ve always said women don’t dress for men, they dress for other women. If we really dressed for men, there’d be an awful lot of women running around in bikinis and stilettos, don’t you think?

HearTheSilence's avatar

Honestly, I would take it as an insult simply because women are so cruel that I’d think you were having a go at me. I get compliments often from women and men about my hair, but it makes me feel very uncomfortable when I hear it from either sex. Perhaps the key is in the wording and the recipient.

iLove's avatar

Good question. It feels more sincere coming from women. Women tend to be more critical, so when a woman gives a compliment like this I welcome it. It doesn’t always feel like a “come on”.

For instance, there is a attractive young girl (10 years my junior) at my job who always calls me “pretty girl” and it feels very endearing. I have no doubt she means anything other than an honest compliment.

Deja_vu's avatar

I love love it!!! From girl’s it’s awesome cause they don’t lie.
Just like you I too compliment beauty. Why not?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Do it, Do it, Do it! Society gives women so much crap to deal with, anything you can do to make someone feel good about themselves for a little is great.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I hear it at times. I say “thank you”. It’s nice. I recall only one woman who did say it in a way to suss out whether I’d be up for something, so I told her that I was flattered but that I like guys. No harm, no foul, you know?

I forgot! I give out the compliment too! It’s an in the moment thing, I don’t think about, really.

AmWiser's avatar

I have heard it before and I felt very flattered. I have also told other women (complete strangers) that they are beautiful. IMHO it is one the most sincerest compliments.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I would be flattered if anyone told me I was beautiful but if it is another woman (especially a complete stranger) I would probably be even more flattered.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

What is the difference between a man and a woman saying this? Does the we’re looking to get into your pants thing come into play?

OpryLeigh's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I don’t mind a bloke complimenting me because he wants to get in my pants, it’s up to me whether I allow him there after all and so I can take the compliment without having to take my pants of in return. However, I feel the women are often more guarded in giving compliments to other women than men are.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Leanne1986 I think you’re right, but why is that true? I meant the more guarded, not the pants thing.

OpryLeigh's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Honestly, I don’t know. I, myself, admire other womens beauty but I would have a very hard time approaching them to tell them so. A man, however, (in my experience) often uses a “jack the lad” charm in order to compliment a woman which, I assume, makes it easier for him to do so.Men just seem a lot more comfortable in giving compliments to women than women are.

misstrikcy's avatar

A bit creepy..

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Leanne1986 I need to think that one over for a few. My g/f will comment to me on other women, but never say anything directly to them. I don’t know why that is.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I would melt! I am also a huge fan of random compliments. Doesn’t have to be about the person, but I will go up to a stranger and compliment their purse, or their dress, or coat.. whatever. I do compliment on appearances, though, and I’ve never had it badly received.

I would be absolutely flattered if anyone, regardless of gender, were to come up to me in public and tell me that they thought I was “very beautiful.”

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@TheOnlyNeffie You have the most beautiful, kissable lips ever!

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I didn’t intend to derail the thread like that, but thank you!

@augustlan I couldn’t agree more about women dressing for other women.

free_fallin's avatar

I would be flattered. I’m the same as @Neizvestnaya in that I take compliments from women as more genuine than from men.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I would definitely feel flattered. I also am very “normal” or average looking, so when I receive random compliments it really makes my day.

partyparty's avatar

Perhaps I would thank her and tell her she had good taste…... but then again perhaps I wouldn’t :)))

pearls's avatar

I also would be flattered and not give it a second thought.

picante's avatar

I love getting compliments (and I like handing them out, too). I’d be very flattered and appreciative.

deni's avatar

I would be so happy! It’s so uncommon for an interaction with some stranger on the street to even happen in the first place that such a nice compliment like that would just be above and beyond. I would probably say “Thank you so much! That really makes my day!” And do a toothy smile. :)

tinyfaery's avatar

Honestly, I am very uncomfortable with strangers addressing me in any way. If anyone, man or woman, just walked-up to me and said I was beautiful I would say “thank you”, but I would definitely be weirded-out.

snowberry's avatar

I’d say thank you.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Hi, everybody! When I posted this last night, it sat at zero responses for a while and I thought, Uh oh. So, I went to bed and I came back here and this thread has exceeded my expectations! Yay!

I really appreciate everyone’s input. I think I feel weird about it because I’m gay and I assume I have a giant “LESBO” sign on me and that everyone knows I’m gay, so then that would make it seem like I was hitting on someone, but even weirder than that by itself because I’m a woman. In truth, I’m tomboyish and not as gay-looking as I feel, at least judging by the numbers of people assuming I’m straight.

I am way too shy to hit on anyone, I should probably get that out of the way. And.. this is kind of embarrassing.. even if I had the guts to do it, I’d have no idea what to do! So there is no romantic vibe, my purpose is not sexual, nothing like that. I think that when I’ve done it, I’ve done it in a nice, friendly way with a smile. I’m respectful, too, so I leave them alone after that. My goal here is almost entirely selfless – I don’t want anything but the good feeling that comes from making someone else feel good.

I have this compulsion all the time, but I usually hang back and bite my tongue because I’m afraid the woman will take it the wrong way. I think I’ll be more free with the compliments from now on. :)

boxer3's avatar

First, I’d probably be caught off guard,
then feel flattered,
and then think : that woman was so nice,
for the rest of the day.

Jude's avatar

Definitely flattered. Then, I’d check her long and hard, heh!

Psst. (taps on shoulder) @MissAnthrope, you’re beautiful.

MissAnthrope's avatar

There was a question about blushing not that long ago, so you’ll know I’m telling the truth when I say you made me blush, @mama_cakes. I want a blushy smiley!! ;)

Haleth's avatar

That would rule! But if it was just a random compliment, and not flirting, I’d be kind of disappointed. :( But still… what a nice thing to do, that would totally brighten anyone’s day.

nomadicgirl62's avatar

I have been complimented like that several times and it does make my day, and I smile and say thank you!!... but I sometimes have the fleeting thought, especially the times when the girl was with a guy when she openly said it… The fleeting thought is: Am I missing something? Is there some hidden agenda in her compliment? Or is this just a genuine stand alone compliment? So far I’ve not been dressed up or even made up in anyway when I’ve recieved such compliments so they usually totally catch me off guard and actually, they mean more coming from a woman than a man and they happen more often from women I don’t know then from men I don’t know. In fact, I don’t think a strange man has ever just come up and said something like that to me!! I don’t know if I could say such things to a woman I didn’t know. But, I think I’m more apt to if she just seems like a down to earth beauty who clearly isn’t full of herself…

Sunny2's avatar

I make it a point to compliment women if I like something about them, a hat, a sweater, a hair color or style. On the subject of beauty, I think I’d say something like, “Wow. I hope you feel as beautiful as you look.” And I give them a sisterly grin. I enjoy being complimented and think they do too. I sometimes casually compliment a man on a sweater, shirt or tie. He usually seems pleased.

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther