Social Question

chelle21689's avatar

What can girls do to keep guys interested in a long term relationship?

Asked by chelle21689 (6995points) December 12th, 2010

I’m just curious what it is for guys besides food and sex LOL. I mean with girls, all guys have to do is be sweet and romantic sometimes which is very simple. Even though it’s simple it seems as though it’s hard for some guys. What catches a guy’s heart? Hmm?

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32 Answers

Odysseus's avatar

Don’t tighten the noose too quickly, make them feel as if they are still free . Slowly slowly :)
(like tickling fish or slow boiling live frogs, lol)

(They may wake up one day 30yrs later only to realize its too late)

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Treat em’ like shit and they’ll follow you to the ends of the earth. It’s simple… People want what they cannot have. Especially men.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

You shouldn’t have to try to keep him interested. If you’re a decent, awesome person and he still isn’t interested, he probably won’t ever be.

chelle21689's avatar

Not exactly interested but keep the spark alive I mean.

augustlan's avatar

If you’re just talking about maintaining a good relationship, here are my suggestions:
Don’t take him for granted.
Practice mutual respect.
Show him you love him in little and big ways. (My ways include leaving little notes in his wallet or shoes every now and again, making awesome sandwiches, lightly scratching his back as he drifts off to sleep, and giving fantastic head.)
Don’t become too ‘comfortable’ with one another. Keep your bathroom behaviors to yourself, for instance.
Learn something new together.
Hold hands.

deni's avatar

um, I don’t know, loving him and being good to one another should do it.

augustlan's avatar

My methods, above, apply to the male side of relationships, too. He should be doing the same for you.

flutherother's avatar

You forgot beer!! But seriously you shouldn’t have to do any more than be yourself to keep someone interested. Just being yourself and doing things together should be enough.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Females sometimes make elaborate plans that cost money (traveling, for example) involving their SO without checking that it’s something the guy wants to do. Or they do check, and then pay no attention to the answer or how its said.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Don’t do everything you see on the internet on the first. Porn queens rarely keep their man’s interest long term. Hold back.
Be competent, confident and capable.
Stay interesting by having interesting subjects to discuss. Subjects like your work, what you do, something technical saw on the net, news, etc. are interesting for guys. Your girlfriend’s boyfriend’s cousin’s dating problems are not.

rts486's avatar

Be their best friend.

Blackberry's avatar

You can’t really do anything. If he wants you, he wants you, and vice versa.

Trillian's avatar

“I mean with girls, all guys have to do is be sweet and romantic sometimes which is very simple.” Fallacious over simplification, and that’s all I’m going to say on that topic.
This is the same guy who told you not to come to where he is. He’s completing a new phase of training, after whch he will most likely be assigned somewhere new. You have spent your money and time chasing after him, going to him for visits when he specifically told you not to. He has lots of things on his mind right now, and you are not one of them except as an aggravation and a distraction.
Back off. When his life slows back down he my decide that he wants you in it but right now you’re like that yappy little cartoon dog jumping all around the big dog, panting and yipping; “Where are we going boss? Why did you do that boss? I guess you showed him, boss….” It’s annoying. You’ve made yourself far too available and showed him that you are willing to put up with crap that defines you as needy and second rate. He will bever treat you any better. You’ve let him know that he doesn’t have to.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I agree that being yourself is important. As far as keeping the spark alive, honestly, with only getting to see each other here and there (like you guys do), it shouldn’t be too hard since you don’t really have an opportunity to get into a rut when you only spend a few days together. It’s not like you are doing the same thing every day (since you aren’t together everyday). That being said, a lot of what @augustlan said can also help keep that spark alive. Never taking each other for granted is really important in my opinion. Being sure to still go out on dates can help as well. Visits are great and allow you to spend time together, but doing something special, like going out to a nice dinner and a walk on the beach (if that’s your thing), is important too.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Guys are people, like anyone else. Relationships aren’t about tricks or keeping people – people have to willingly stay with you because you are an ideal partner for them. So, perhaps consider there’s more to men than food and sex urges.

tedd's avatar

pfft… I have far more trouble keeping girls interested in the long term than they have in keeping me interested.

wundayatta's avatar

You want a trick? How about trying honesty? That way you can screen out the guys who can’t handle it right away before you get serious about them.

Find out if the guy meets your standards, not whether you can meet his. Your attitude says you have to trap a man, and if you do that, your man will feel trapped. Then he’ll want to get away.

You want your relationships to be mutual. No games (except the innocent ones). You want him to want you the way you want him. Or if it’s not at that stage, then wherever it is, you want it to be roughly equal.

I think you need to turn your question around. The guy should be concerned about maintaining your interest, except, really, if either of you has to try or machinate in order to keep the other, then it’s the wrong relationship. Relationships are mutual. At least, the good ones are.

chelle21689's avatar

That’s funny about the bathroom behaviors. I keep that to myself but he thinks it’s okay to do that in front of eachother!! He thinks I’m being silly LMAO

chelle21689's avatar

Trillian, what the hell is wrong with you? This doesn’t have to do with my boyfriend of any of my past relationship problems. I was just asking out of curiosity cuz I know what a lot of girls would like but I don’t really know what guys like. I know all that respect, and all that but everyone has got to admit that once the infatuation phase is over there are times where you have to keep up a little spark to make the relationship exciting. Jeeez! Obviously, with long distance and meeting it’s not hard to keep the spark alive because it’s natural when you can’t wait to be with each other psychically.

Scooby's avatar

Just don’t bitch & leave the sanitary towel conversation for between you & your female friends…. :-/

Trillian's avatar


Scooby's avatar

It’s all about give & take, the trouble with a lot of women is everything has to be on their terms….probably the reason why they’re single in the first place….& another reason why I keep them at arms length.. Women expect their girl time, well us blokes like our guy time too, as much as a shock as it may be, yes we can live without you & no! we won’t burn the house down if left to our own devices either.. Show a little trust.. & he might just stick around for you :-/

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Change it up. Take pole dancing lessons and let him catch you kissing other girlies. Then give him a new nick name… something like, “Tickles”. Develop an iconic screech that he only associates with you during orgasm. Start checking the mailbox in the nude and become obsessively consumed with a cause greater than yourselves, like saving baby seals.

In other words… give him new reasons to keep you on his mind.

Eggie's avatar

Be yourself. Call him once an awhile, tell him about the good things that you like about him. STAND BY HIM whenever he needs you. If you see him going into a fight or going to do something stupid advise him not to. Defend him when he needs defending. Show him that you always have his back and also satisfy his needs…as he satisfies yours of course And if none of these things work then he has to be the most idiotic man on the face of the earth…because then you would be one of the most beautiful women on the face of this earth, cus you wont be just beautul on the outside anymore…but on the inside as well.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

And don’t forget to send him a refrigerator magnet with your photo on it.

jca's avatar

I think this is a hard question to answer because it depends on the guy and the situation. I have seen (in my long long life) guys run after women who played hard to get and the guys still chased. I have seen women be totally sweet and cuddly and some guys liked it. I have also seen situations where the girl and the guy were just in the right stage in their lives where things worked out, they needed each other for whatever reason, and they clicked i do think the ability to give good head is a bonus, at least it has been for me!

Blondesjon's avatar


c’mon guys, i just laid it out there for you. don’t leave me fucking hangin’

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

I’d prefer if she also had shoulders knees and toes, knees and toeshead shoulders knees and toes, knees and toe-oh-oh-oh’s, eyes and ears and a mouth and nosehead shoulders knees and toes, knees and toes…

augustlan's avatar

@Blondesjon I believe @jca and I did address your concern. :p

Blondesjon's avatar

@augustlan . . . now, you know I don’t actually read any of this stuff right?

augustlan's avatar

See what you’re missing out on?

wundayatta's avatar

@Blondesjon You didn’t hear it here, but that was my first thought, too.

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