Social Question

misst's avatar

How do you know if a 52 year old is interested in a 48 year old woman?

Asked by misst (71points) December 15th, 2010

It was like love at first sight in a way. We met at the end of a singles party about a month ago, (glancing at each other throughout the night) and have went out every Saturday since, but no kiss good night yet. We have also e-mailed each other a bit and spoken on the phone about our next event.
We are going to the play house Thursday night and I don’t know what to expect! When we are together the time flies, we laugh, and dance close. I have not dated in 6 years.

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19 Answers

Summum's avatar

Sounds like the starting of a romance. If you enjoy the company let your shield down and really enjoy the time together.

LuckyGuy's avatar

That’s why you attend those events. This is the way it should be. Magic.

wundayatta's avatar

This issue really has nothing to do with age. It’s the same for all couple. You look at the little signs and eventually you take a risk to become a little more intimate.

You can’t know for sure. All you can do is go on your gut and take a little step. Kiss him on his cheek. Tell him how fond you are of him. Or whatever. See how he responds. Maybe he is unsure of himself. How long has it been for him? He may be wondering the same thing. All you can do is try to become more open, bit by bit.

john65pennington's avatar

Love has no age barriers. there apparently is something going on between you two. the looks, the touch, the communications are all leading to a visit from cupid for you two. take one steip at a time and go with the flow.

After all, you guys are not teenagers in love, or are you?

misst's avatar

I feel as if I am in my 20s again. I have not felt like this in a long long time. I miss him and I do not like it. I think we are trying to take it slow but we do have many of the same beliefs. Thought when we got older there would be more common sense involved.

janbb's avatar

I think attraction is attraction whatever age you are. Enjoy it.

marinelife's avatar

Just keep taking it slowly and enjoy.

Kardamom's avatar

I’m going to throw out a couple of possibilities. It sounds like he likes you quite a bit, but is it at all possible that he is still a virgin? It is possible, and if that’s the case, he is likely extremely nervous about kissing you.

The other possibility is that he may have some type of impotence problem and he might be embarrassed to kiss you and have you want it to go further.

And there is the possibility that he may be gay. One of my best friends is a gay man (of around the same age, but a little bit older) When I first met him, I suspected that he might be gay, but some of the gay fellows that we work with said my friend told them that he absolutely was not gay. My friend also told me that he had had a girlfriend in his 20’s with whom he got pregnant, but she ended up having a mis-carriage. Back in the 70’s, I would guess that lots of gay men, attempted to “be straight.” My friend, even kissed me once, in our early acquaintence, even though I was still convinced that he was gay, but I never said anything to him or asked him about it. We’ve been friends for about 15 years, and only recently has he talked about being gay. He never came out and blurted it out, he just talked about a boyfriend who had passed away (before I met him) that he had loved. I think he realized that I knew and so he didn’t need to “confess” and I love him so much as a friend that it isn’t a problem. He has been my escort to family functions and parties over the years. It’s great.

So if it turns out to be the last thing, decide if you would like to have him for a best friend and make the most of it. He sounds charming.

If it is either of the first 2 possibilities, I would suggest asking him if you could kiss him and then just see what he says and try to go from there. Be super-gentle. Good luck. : )

misst's avatar

He does have a child in college, was with his sons mother about 10 years. The party was for male and female singles. He did mention speaking to me before his friend got over to me, now that I have thought about it, he did introduce us too.
He seems brainy, he has spoken of his mom coming over to his house and decorating for holiday. Hummm And no food in fridge. Confused!!!
He has spoken of helping his nephews and son with homework, his sisters financial status, and family in PA. LOL I have no clue but would like to know soon.

Seelix's avatar

How to know if he’s interested? Ask him!
You’re not in high school anymore, even if the butterflies he gives you might make you feel like you are ;) Ask him how he feels. Seems to me that he just might be a little too shy to make the first move.

stardust's avatar

He sounds interested. Enjoy :-)

BarnacleBill's avatar

You could just start with something simple like, “I really enjoy spending time with you.”

misst's avatar

He called Saturday, we went out, met a friend of his, walked me to my car, gave him a ride to his, got 2 little kisses.

Kardamom's avatar

@mist Yea! Were the kisses on the lips? Did they seem at all passionate or just friendly?

I hope this all works out, we’re rooting for you. Maybe you can persuade him under the mistletoe.

misst's avatar

On the lips, we were both holding back. It was cold outside and my pumpkin had to get home. He had commitments today. The first one was when we got into the car and he said that was so good, may I have another please when we got to his car. Oh yes you may LOL.

janbb's avatar

Sounds like it’s progressing just fine!

Kardamom's avatar

Yes, sounds like he’s moving along at just the right pace. Have fun.

misst's avatar

Update. Two weekends ago we met a a local pub, when we left, we were in the car, he met me half way for a kiss, then all of a sudden grabbed my upper arms and pushed me towards the back of my seat, I pushed back and said whoa, slow down, he scared the crap out of me, we had not been doing much kissing. He later e-mailed me and told me that I was a tease.
I told him that I was not and did not make out in cars. He then e-mailed me again and said that if I needed any help moving that he would help with his SUV. I am really confused here. Have not been out with him any more, he says he can’t put himself in that position???? Thanks for all of your input, I tried to get back into dating, had given up years ago, now more fearful.

Kardamom's avatar

@misst I have the feeling that although this fellow may have been married or been together with a woman before (hence his kids) he still may not have had much experience early on. Even though he might have been with his kid’s mom, they may have only been intimate a few times, or he might not have been very good at it and the kid’s mom just kind of put up with it and maybe that’s why they’re not together anymore.

There is the possibility that he was going to be too agressive with you (that may be why he pushed you up against the seat) because he literally doesn’t have any decent experience on how regular (more experienced people) get together. Then, because you called him out on the agressiveness, he decided to call you a tease (again, because he is so inexperienced that he has no idea of what he is doing).

I don’t blame you if you don’t want to date him again. But if he does call you or e-mail you and you feel ok with it, I think now would be the time to have a heart to heart with him. You could say something like, “I was a little taken a back when you pushed me up against the seat, because up to that point you have been very much “repressed” (or better word) with regards to kissing me. You kind of scared me. But then you really hurt my feelings when you said that I was being a tease. I am not that kind of person and have been trying to slowly get back into the dating scene, after many years of not dating anyone. I thought we had hit it off, but then I wondered why it seemed like you didn’t want to kiss me, and then all of a sudden (that night at the pub) you came on so forcefully that you scared me. Then you said you “didn’t want to put yourself in that position again.” I’m really confused now. Can you tell me why you didn’t want to kiss me in the first place? And how come you came on so agressively in the car? I don’t know if I can date you until you let me know what’s going on and I definitely don’t want to be with someone who is agressive or is unsure of their feelings for me. Can we talk about this?”

I wouldn’t let this situation with this fellow deter you from trying to date other fellows. Just take things slowly with other men, but be really up front about the fact that you haven’t dated for awhile, let the new people know that you’ve had a few false starts with less than pleasant outcomes. But that you are interested in getting to know the new person and see where it goes. If you feel like you are very interested in a new person, let them know, gently, and if they hesitate to kiss you, ask them gently why? Never put up with any kind of agressive behavior from anyone and if you ever feel uncomfortable, walk away. And just like with younger people, it’s always good to let someone (close friend or family member) know where you are going and who you’ll be with and check in with them after a date.

Good luck, keep us updated :-)

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