General Question

RedmannX5's avatar

Why do two people in a friendship not fight as much as two people in a relationship?

Asked by RedmannX5 (814points) April 7th, 2008 from iPhone
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

25 Answers

scamp's avatar

I’d need a little more information before I could give this a poper answer. Can you give an example? This question is kind of vague.

deepseas72's avatar

because relationships involve many more shared facets of life: finances, sex, children. There is more to argue about.

kapuerajam's avatar

probaly because people in a relationship have more differences then someone in a freindship that’s why their freinds

jaeger's avatar

People who have only a friendship have much less at stake (ie feelings) than those in a relationship.

rowenaz's avatar

I don’t know about that!! I have “broken up” with friends, where it was MUCH WORSE than breaking off a relationship… first divorce wasn’t even that bad….

jrpowell's avatar


Of course every situation is different. Without details the answers can only be comprised of theories and anecdotal evidence.

babygalll's avatar

There is a lot less to worry about in friendships than in a relationship. Friends can be themselves with each other and you basically do what you want and when you want. With relationships you always have to worry about your spouse, children, the bills, cleaning, cooking, working to provide, driving kids one place to another. This can put a lot of stress on relationships. That’s when arguing starts. With friendships you don’t have to worry about all that.

blippio's avatar

Because there’s more to lose/fight for in a relationship. “higher stakes”

RedmannX5's avatar

Sorry for making this question vague. I have a girlfriend of 2 years and I find myself fighting with her a lot more than with my friends. Is it because sometime relationships can be based on lust, and not love?

delirium's avatar

My boyfriend is also my best friend…..
There’s a reason that the word friend is in boyfriend.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

I have always been considered the big or little brother to many of my female friends and we have great relationships. With my current gf we fight over the stupid stuff.

I just get along and relate to women better than men. Its my listening skills, i guess. I later found out that most of my female friends secretly had more than friendship feelings but never persued because the didn’t want to ruin our great friendship.

It possible your female friends may have something secretly for you but know you have a gf.

ironhiway's avatar

If you stop looking at those situations as fights, and start thinking of them as opportunities to build on a successful relationship, you might get a lot more out of the experience.

pattyb's avatar

I tried to answer this logically, but kept erasing my anwers because when finished they made no sense. Could be one of the greatest fluther questions ever.

mcbealer's avatar

Yeah, look at our divorce rate in the U.S.
Although I agree with stakes are higher in a relationship I also think it’s because of our own expectations being much higher for our spouses/significant others/partners than for our friends.

Robby's avatar

Relationships are on a more personal level than that of a friendship. At least for myself anyway. Thats a very good question..

DS's avatar

Friends know you a little better than your wife/husband there isn’t any ” perfect” attitude when you’ re around them.

RedmannX5's avatar

@DS: I would tend to think that your spouse knows you more intimately than your friends. I guess it depends on what type of person you are though.

scamp's avatar

Consider this: In friendships you are on what my Mother used to call ‘company manners”. If you have heated words with a friend, you could run the risk of losing the friendship. When you are in a solid relationship with someone, you are more free to be yourself, so your true feelings come out easier. There is a different bond between the two people in a relationship than there is with friends. And it is usually a tighter one, so the risk of loss is less.

judochop's avatar

Because they are not sleeping together.

buster's avatar

sex is violence

DevilDiva's avatar

I’m in a relationship with my best friend. We hardly ever fight. We talk things out. Amazingly enough!! I can’t stay mad at him. I always feel calm around him.

rowenaz's avatar

My “falling outs” with friends have always been much worse than my break ups. Didn’t someone say in another board that people let their emotions hang out much more when they feel trust?

RedmannX5's avatar

Well since I’ve asked this question, I’ve broken up with my girlfriend, and I have to say it’s been one ofthe hardest things I’ve had to do. However, my girlfriend really was my best friend and so I’m sure that that made it a lot worse

fyrefay's avatar

Think on this: a friendship is a relationship…but not the same as when you are ‘seeing’ someone. There, you have a vested interest on the out come of the argument(staying together or not) especially if you are really close to a new stage-marriage, for example. Arguments like that can define how things will pan out, and when.
In a friendship, arguments may be bad, but they don’t have the same meaning. You can simply agree to disagree and let it go.

colloquial_kace's avatar

Definitely sex. Sex changes everything.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther