Social Question

Rytt's avatar

My ex and I are more than friends but not dating, what are we?

Asked by Rytt (527points) December 23rd, 2010

My ex and I recently broke up and find that neither of us want to get back together (it simply won’t work). However, we still mean a great deal to each other and want to continue being close. For example, tonight he came over and we cuddled and talked and eventually kissed. And we both say that that is what we miss and want to stay like that but nothing more. I was wondering if there is a term or something for what we are then? And ideas on this in general…

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29 Answers

YARNLADY's avatar

Friends with benefits?

Rytt's avatar

We’re not having sex.

YARNLADY's avatar

OK, so you have a relationship that cannot be described using the traditional buzz words. I respect that. When I moved in with my husband, he was still living with his former/ex girlfriend. We were all three best of friends, and shared our apartment for several months. I don’t know if there is a particular word to describe that. Why do you ask?

Rytt's avatar

My friends are concerned that this means that we’re back together. When I tell them that we’re not then they respond ‘well, then what are you?’

bob_'s avatar

Friends with restricted benefits?

Dog's avatar

What you are is just involved enough with each other to keep from moving on or finding someone else. Perhaps you guys are each others security blanket. Dating can be daunting.

YARNLADY's avatar

You don’t really owe your other friends an explanation. How about, oh, we are just good friends.

jazmina88's avatar

dont label it…...or box it in. say you are pals and if you get close again, good for you.

Crossroadsgrl's avatar


And you owe no one an explanation

But it seems sad to me : /

ratboy's avatar

Friends with really lousy benefits?

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Horny friends with some self control?

Cruiser's avatar

Friends who deny they will soon be back together getting it on.

BarnacleBill's avatar

A couple who needs relationship counseling to make it work because they are deluding themselves that they have broken up?

Continuing to see each other like this is likely to stop you from moving on, and will damage any other relationship that you may develop.

Summum's avatar

Friends is all.

mithical's avatar

You are simply two people who still have a strong bond with each other, however neither of you wants to make it to the next step in fear of loosing each other again. Time will fix that.

phoebusg's avatar

I’m friends with all my ex’s except for a stubborn one. She’ll turn around one day. I can go for coffee dates, lunch, catch up—see how they’re doing. And some even turn out to become close friends on the way. I don’t see why we have to maintain this norm of isolating ourselves from our ex partners.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

LOL, @YARNLADY beat me to it: Friends with Benefits.

partyparty's avatar

Very good friends who are almost back in a relationship

john65pennington's avatar

Lets face it, you two have not really broken the chain that bonded you together, in the first place. you know, i know, and i know you know that i know, that you both still love each other. don’t give up on each other. sometimes opposites attract each other and their relationship can work if both want it to work. we did.

Trillian's avatar


Bluefreedom's avatar

Close friends.

Kardamom's avatar

You are kind of back together. Just not in the traditional sense. If I was a person, on the outside, looking to date one of you, I would back away. Just because you are not having sex doesn’t mean that you aren’t in a “relationship” which you clearly are. And that’s fine, as long as you realize it.

I think it is a wonderful thing that exes can remain friends, it is ultimately much better than the alternative, but you guys aren’t exes yet and aren’t “just friends”. You have a different, limited romantic relationship, but it is one that will probably scare off potential new mates.

So I guess the term would be Limited Romantic Involvement.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

You’re fucking humans. Even if you’re not actually fucking. You’re just two people, living. No further explanation needed.

Rytt's avatar

@DrasticDreamer Not gonna lie, your response made me smile.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Soon to be “boinking buddies” with a shared history.

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