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ducky_dnl's avatar

Advice to get through the holidays?

Asked by ducky_dnl (5376points) December 24th, 2010 from iPhone

I need some advice to get through the holidays. I’ve been having a very rough day today and few weeks. I don’t feel like going into details very much, so can anyone help give me some advice to get through Christmas and New Years?

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11 Answers

Jeruba's avatar

Forgive me if I miscalculate and this is not what you need to hear. Here’s what I’ve been working on for the past 24 hours.

I know that one person who’s down can bring down a whole household. There have been times when I was that person. I didn’t see it at the time, but now I do.

I also know that even though one person can bring a household down, one person can’t bring a household up. Nobody can make other people be joyful and amiable.

Here is what I can do: I can make sure I’m not the person who brings down the household.

I’m not responsible for bringing it up, though. I can’t be in charge of everyone else’s happjness. I can’t manage it, force it, or control it. I can only manage myself.

And so I can make sure I’m not brought down.

If I do that, then—one person doesn’t bring down the whole household because I’m not down.

I put on some nice music. I bake something. I wrap presents. I try not to react badly when things don’t go right. I try to let go of my idea of what “going right” is. I try to be understanding and not judge. I remember all the things I have to be thankful for. And I try not to wear myself and others down by attempting to control things I can’t control.

I’m not perfect at this. I’m just working on it. You try too.

YARNLADY's avatar

I’m going to go the pessimistic route here. Once you have made up your mind to feel bad, there is nothing anyone can do about it, except you. You will simply wake up one day next week or next month and find out you made it.

josie's avatar

You are alive and working to live another day. That is normal, and good. Everything else is gravy. Appreciate that.

marinelife's avatar

Try to give thanks for the blessings you do have in your life—even though you are going through something bad.

Remember that the holidays are only a few days of the year.

Take long walks. have a hot bath. Be good to yourself.

janbb's avatar

Self-nurture. Do a lot of what ever makes you feel at peace. Hot baths, good reads, a slow cup of coffee in a sunlit kitchen. Try not to ruminate too much. A book I’ve been reading suggested these things help cure depression: getting plenty of rest, eating right, and most importantly, a half hour of sunlight and exercise per day. If you can, try doing soemthing for other people that is not overly stressful. Good luck!

SamIAm's avatar

I was having a little bit of a rough time a few hours ago… feeling a little down. But I got myself out of bed, and decided I wasn’t going to be upset over it. I just ran out to grab some stuff from the corner store and heard SO many people on my floor home—nothing loud, no parties, but just that people are home. Others are working, others are completely alone, and not by choice. Just try to make the best of it, realize it could be worse and you’re not alone. And I always tell myself, that one day, I’m going to make the holidays the way I want them to be – with my own family and my own traditions. That makes me hopeful and happy.

jazmina88's avatar

Go outside and breathe when it gets too weird. get some peace. and center.

havent been on much lately, but glad to see you Ducky. Feel the love. <3

Jeruba's avatar

So—I just dealt with another little challenge in this regard. At first I had to walk away so I wouldn’t react badly. And then when I had taken a few minutes to regain my calm, I said to myself, “If he didn’t feel bad, he wouldn’t have acted that way.” And I could sympathize by looking past what he said to the feeling behind it. That really helped me over a rough spot.

I don’t think I could have done the same thing a year ago, but I’ve been taking lessons.

SamIAm's avatar

Update: order in your favorite take out (mine is this fantastic Chinese place… just talking to them on the phone makes me SO happy!). Eat in bed. Best idea ever :)

@jazmina88: I love that answer

littlebeck30's avatar

So many people have terrible holidays. I am lucky I am still a “kid” (18 years old) and don’t have to deal with much of the hustle bustle.

However, this year I had stress because I didn’t have any money to buy gifts for everyone. I felt really bad.

What helped me out was to make gifts for those who care about me, help out my family members to reduce the stress level in the house, and to take one chore at a time.

You can use the new years as a great way to plan for change in your life! Its a new year and new possibilities!

Jeruba's avatar

That’s a great solution, @littlebeck30. What, after all, can you give someone that’s more precious than your time? Your third paragraph is just a wonderful prescription for getting through the holidays happily and well.

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