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JustJessica's avatar

Do you find that you tolerate some people here (on Fluther) that you wouldn't in person?

Asked by JustJessica (4054points) December 26th, 2010

I ask this because everyone seems to be so nice to everyone here.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

37 Answers

Seaofclouds's avatar

It’s possible that I’m more tolerant of people when I’m not face to face with them, but in general, I’m a pretty tolerant person and usually won’t let a person know that they’ve upset me unless it’s really bad. I try to always speak to people in a nice way and try not to let my temper get the best of me. I don’t like being mean very often.

tinyfaery's avatar

You aren’t looking hard enough. There are few people on fluther that I cannot abide.

filmfann's avatar

Last year, I would agree. Some contributers who seemed quite abrasive have left, and I enjoy this crowd.

JilltheTooth's avatar

We have the option here to simply not respond, not always possible in real life. That makes for much nicer conversation. If I don’t like someone here, I try not to engage. Not always successful at that, though. :-/

HungryGuy's avatar

There are one or two hateful people here (who assume that if you disagree with them, you must be intolerant and hate them), but most are fairly tolerant and friendly :-)

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

What @JilltheTooth said. 100 lurve for her.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

People whose opinions are based on spurious “facts” and unreliable “expert sources” and who are impervious to well supported sources of reliable information are not people I can easily tolerate but they are easier to disregard or ignore on Fluther than in person.

I enjoy discussing different viewpoints and interpretations of facts and issues and am not irritated by disagreements. Fluther gives me the opportunity to choose whether to wade into a discussion or not.

Berserker's avatar

If there’s some people I don’t like or that I find it better for me to avoid, I just don’t communicate with them, just like in real life. Besides that, I can’t really do much about that they’re there. I think that’s fair. Everyone has the right to be anywhere, whether one tolerates another or not. It’s typically easier to avoid people online than in real life, but really not by that much. Nothing a well placed fuck off can’t fix anyway lol.

wundayatta's avatar

Not really. I generally try to be tolerant to people in real life that I don’t really like or agree with. I find it’s easier to get what you want with honey instead of vinegar. So I try to treat people respectfully unless they diss me. I also stay away from people I don’t like.

Here, there are moderators, who tend to force people to be nice, or enforce niceness. They also try to enforce thoughtfulness. I appreciate these efforts, but I am no different in my level of tolerance here or in real life.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Absolutely. There is NO WAY I’d be friends with some of the people that I tolerate on here.

JustJessica's avatar

Thanks to the Mods for enforcing thoughtfulness and reminding me to proof read before asking.

janbb's avatar

At the moment, the Jelly pool is pretty peaceful. There have been very abrasive people on here at times whom I would not have wanted to meet in person.

marinelife's avatar

I can handle most anything on Fluther. There are people that I wouldn’t want to work with or live next door to every day, but fortunately I don’t have to.

SuperMouse's avatar

<<Insert @Simone_De_Beauvoir‘s answer here>> For instance that AstroChuck really tans my hide, if I ever meet that guy in person I just, well it is best not to think about it.~

augustlan's avatar

I’m pretty tolerant in real life, too. I wouldn’t necessarily maintain friendships with people I’m at odds with, but I can tolerate family members and acquaintances with vastly different views from my own.

HungryGuy's avatar

@Dr_Lawrence – I agree. But not that you would, but one must be careful not to dismiss someone’s opinion as “spurious” because that opinion is not politically correct, or contradicts one’s personal agenda, or voices an inconvenient truth.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I figure respect deserves respect, and for the most part, people here are pretty tolerant and decent. (I’m not sure if this is strong mod enforcement or not. I’d like to think it’s not and people here are truly as nice as they seem. “I love ya’ man!”

On the other hand, it is very easy to just ignore the few people who are not.

seazen's avatar

I don’t tolerate myself in real life; that’s why I fluther.

wundayatta's avatar

Aw @seazen That just warms the cockles of my heart. :)

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

As @worriedguy said,respect deserves respect.If I get it from you,you will get it from me.
It works that way in my real life too. ;)

Fred931's avatar

I’m completely different in person; I’m actually very quiet and shy.

The Internet works differently than in face-to-face interaction.

Nullo's avatar

You know how people tell you to count to ten when you think that you might lose your temper? The Internet sorta does that automatically, at least for me.
There are/have been people on this site that I would have gotten into a shouting match with, IRL.

ucme's avatar

It’s like walking your dog & coming across some dog poo. There are some unpleasant smelly nauseous types here, but in general most folk don’t leave their “shit in my yard” so to speak. Besides I can smell bullshit instinctively so tend to keep clear of the intolerable set. Thankfully I consider myself a good judge of character :¬)

Cruiser's avatar

Nope. There are enough really cool, open caring people here that I don’t have to tolerate ignorance and stupidity. Those members are usually short lived anyway.

mammal's avatar

do you suppose people on here need tolerating?

diavolobella's avatar

I’ve never really thought about it and it’s hard to say. First of all, no one on Fluther really bothers me that much and if they do, I just don’t interact with them, which I could also do offline. Whether or not I could tolerate someone in person who annoys me on Fluther would depend upon how they come across in person, which might be vastly different from how they come across on Fluther. There are people I have little in common with here, but if they were pleasant and friendly in person, our differences would not matter. You could be my polar opposite and we might still get along fine if you were tolerant of our differences. In person and on Fluther I tend to keep some of my opinions and beliefs to myself simply because the categories involved (religion and politics in particular) aren’t anyone’s business and I do my “discussing” of them in the voting booth and/or my head.

I’ve met online acquaintances in person and found that they were nothing like how they seemed online. Someone who “speaks” very formally online might be really laid back and silly face-to-face. Someone who likes to debate and seems argumentative online might be that way because they feel free to do so in the anonymous atmosphere, but be much less so in person.

OpryLeigh's avatar

There isn’t anyone here that I dislike to the point of wanting to avoid but then, reading what someone has to say is a lot different to hearing what they have to say and that may be why people don’t bother me so much here as in real life. There’s a barrier between us here that isn’t there in real life.

DominicX's avatar

Of course. But there are also some people here that I just simply would never come across in real life. The people I’m around IRL are pretty tolerable, otherwise I probably wouldn’t be around them much. On the internet, you’re kind of forced to be around people you can’t stand. Luckily, there aren’t too many on this site, but there have definitely been times where if this had been real life, I probably would’ve punched someone… :)

Paradox's avatar

No, I’m no more different in “real life” than on the net. I’ve gotten into so many arguments with people in person that I think I’m probally more mellow on here. Being on Fluther has nothing to do with it.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, I tolerate being friends with a goose and a monkey here. I mean, like, really real friends. Don’t know if I could actually be friends with a goose and a monkey in real life.

janbb's avatar

@Dutchess_III How ‘bout a penguin?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Oh GA! Of course!

asmonet's avatar

I’ve disliked people on here before, and only tolerated them because they have a right to their opinion. In real life I might have yelled “I give up! Fuck this!” and walked away if I’m being honest. Hell, I suspect my opinions and interactions in addition to those of the community against one user led them to quit. But for the most part as people said above, the nature of the website aids you in acting like the better person.

Besides, most problems can be gotten over. Sometimes with no real action on either side.

Look at me and @psychocandy – we kind of… really disliked each other for a while. Then over the course of several months I guess through our answers we kinda just ‘got each other’ and the hostility went away. It was something I’ve yet to see happen in real life. I don’t have any reason to listen to the shrew in my office and what she thinks about anything, but here I might stumble upon her answer and read the text without prejudice. Every post is a new chance to express your opinions, your expertise.

Besides, it’s really hard to hold a grudge on the internet.
And kind of sad.

tinyfaery's avatar

Aww. I lurve smone.

Plucky's avatar

I’m actually more tolerant in real life than online (but that has more to do with my shyness in real life). I’m extremely tolerant. I think family is one of the best teachers of tolerance.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

There are people here I would not hang with or engage in the real, but then I believe they would be the same with me. We have nothing in common so I doubt we would have much to say. That is not to say I would not be civil with them, as much as I try here, but being on buddy-buddy terms or even near that would not be happening. I am friends with a few secular people, but I find I care nothing for their lifestyle so those rare few are indeed a rare few.

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