General Question

roxy's avatar

Why do people treat you different when you gain weight?

Asked by roxy (74points) April 9th, 2008

Not just the people you know but people in general.
I consider myself an attractive person but have recently gained 20 pounds.
I notice a huge difference when I go anywere,less attention (of course) and not so nice.
It’s just obvious!!

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8 Answers

peedub's avatar

In many cases, I think certain people project their own insecurities.

trainerboy's avatar

Do you really have a question? They look at you different because you look different.
If it didn’t bother you that you gained weight, it wouldn’t matter.

osakarob's avatar

How much do you weigh now?
How tall are you?

flowerchild's avatar

i think it depends on how you present yourself others…I am only 4ft 11inches tall and I weight about 150….but i only wear size 6 clothing….even at my heaviest weight (190 pound) everyone treated me the same….I don’t call attention to myself…the point is if you are uncomfortable with your weight then chances are others will be also…if not then who cares what others think…

jaeger's avatar

Please don’t shoot me, I am not making a personal statement – only stating the perception of society.

There are people who are fat from their youth – they usually get a pass as they get older. But people who gain weight after their twenties are seen as “letting themselves go”. This carries with it the perception of laziness, or not valuing yourself, or an inability to control one’s eating habits. Because of these perceptions, people act differently toward those who gain weight.

Sure, we all know that being fat does not automatically mean you are lazy or that you eat too much. There are tons of reasons people gain weight. But slender/muscular and symmetrical are the epitome of beauty in many societies, and each person gets compared to the beauty standard and tends to receive attention accordingly.

I know exactly what you are talking about. I had an athletic build (soccer-softball player), and weighed 135lbs. I got depressed, and over 3 years I gained 30lbs. I felt horrible, and I certainly never got the attention I used to get. It was obvious.

So when I got over my blues I lost the weight and things are normal again.

Robby's avatar

Do this test. Take an x amount of overweight/not so good looking people, versus an x amount of in-shape/beautiful people. Send them walking down a busy city block and have them drop a bunch of papers. Now see who will be helped first. Odds are, the in-shape/beautiful people will be helped first. It is in human nature to move towards or act in such a positive manner when it comes to pretty/beautiful objects/people. Then there are just plain jerks in society..

RAMesesII's avatar

I have to agree with everyone so far on this one. There are societal tebdancies regarding appearances. However, much is aslo due to one’s own self-confidence and presence.
An example (albeit hyperbolized) is the planter’s commercial, with the fellas all going ‘googley-eyed’ over the one lady who would otherwise (if it weren’t for planter’s) be viewed as ugly per societal standards. There are many women who don’t fit societal beauty standards, but I think other fellas can agree where something about them makes them gorgeous nonetheless.
That something is usually confidence and presence. We fellas notice. We may not understand it, but we notice, and it makes one that much more attractive.
Word of caution though… There is a fine line between confident, cocky, stuck-up, egotistical, and narssicistic… Don’t cross to the dark side…

Fancymouse's avatar

because people are just ignorant and they need to find the inside of people not the outside

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