Social Question

MissAnthrope's avatar

Do you have a heart-warming, romantic story about people finding their perfect mates later in life?

Asked by MissAnthrope (21460points) January 6th, 2011

I’m 34. I know that’s not old, but I feel weird because my life up to this point has not been at all how I envisioned or wanted. If I had my choice, I’d be married and settled down right now.

In any case, I really have horrid luck with romance and relationships and it’s difficult for me avoid feeling like, at this point, it’s just never going to happen.

So, I’d like to hear of some great, real-life tales of couples who met in their 30’s or later and ended up together and happily ever after. Do you know anyone who fits the bill?

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28 Answers

janbb's avatar

Um – see recent question on “How to Make Jelly Babies?”

chyna's avatar

Sadly, no, I know of no stories. sigh

Coloma's avatar

Anything is possible, if you desire it enough.

I know of lots of middle aged people in relationships in their late 40’s to mid-50’s ( my age bracket ) that have grown tremendously and have good SECOND relationships, but I all of us have been married before, most for many years.

I don’t know of any single people though that have both been singles in later adulthood and met and married.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@janbb – Yes, but I want more! I need to know it’s not just a fluke.

janbb's avatar

@MissAnthrope Well, there’s also Sherry and whatthefluther. In real life, my husband is in a sailing club in which many singles have found second or third marriage partners. (Hmmmn) And one of my best friends was a widow who married a man at 40 who was marrying for the first time.

Seelix's avatar

My sister is 37. She’s beautiful, smart, has a good job as a high school teacher, but she always chose the wrong guys to be with. She’s pretty insecure despite all her good points, and tended to date guys who took advantage of that. She had one great relationship that ended because of a silly disagreement, and looked at him as “the one who got away”. He passed away 5 or 6 years ago after getting esophageal cancer, and she was pretty sure she was destined to be alone.

A couple of years ago she started dating a guy who runs a small antiques/hock shop in my hometown, and they got along really well. He proposed in March, and I’ll be standing in their wedding in July.

I know that 37 isn’t old, but she’s older than you are, and just found her perfect match recently. I hope that helps you realize that sometimes it just takes a little longer to find the right person.

marinelife's avatar

I lived next door to a woman who met her husband at a photography club when both were in their 50s. They are very happy; they travel a lot.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@Seelix – Thank you.. very nice answer. :)

@janbb & @marinelife – Thanks. :)

Seaofclouds's avatar

My husband and I started dating when he was 32 and I was 26. He was single, never married, no kids. I was previously married, divorced (obviously), and had a child. We had actually met several years before we started dating briefly at a housewarming party for my mom and step-dad. We saw each other occasionally after that, but didn’t start flirting until after a game weekend at my mom and step-dad’s house. We started exchanging e-mails and continued flirting for a few months before we entered a committed relationship. Then we got married about a year after that and now we are expecting our first child together. We just celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary this past October.

JilltheTooth's avatar

A couple of my friends here met when she was 46 and he was 49, through a mutual interest group. They dated for 2 years, got married (he was her 3rd marriage, she his 1st) and 10 years after the wedding are still goony happy together. I like that story.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@Seaofclouds – Awww, that’s wonderful! I’m happy for you both. :)

@JilltheTooth – Awww, nice. :)

Coloma's avatar

Oh WAIT!

HOW could I forget…my ex husband just married a single, never married, 44 year old woman.

I hope they are very happy.

I am so happy that I forget I ever was married. hahaha

CaptainHarley's avatar

My first wife and I raised five children, and were married for about 34 years. I married her when I got back from Vietnam, mostly because I wanted to be married, because she needed me, and because she was the best-looking woman I had ever seen. She had three children when we met, so we set up housekeeping and started raising kids. When the children were older and beginning to move out on their own, my ex and I looked at each other and said, “Who the hell are YOU?” We had been so busy raising children and working, etc., that we never learned until later that we were very different sorts of people.

Time passed, I came down with prostate cancer ( and later diabetes ) from exposure to Agent Orange while I was in Vietnam for two years. My ex and I had been separated for a number of years, and finally got together with a guy from her ( and formerly my ) church. She filed for divorce right after I was operated on for the cancer.

I was living in one room of an old mobile home to save money, and just kind of waiting to die, when I met Vicky in a now-defunct site called TagWorld. We talked about everything under the sun and became very good friends, then best friends. A mutual friend of ours on the same site, asked me why I was still looking for someone when Vicky was right there in front of my face, and obvioiusly loved me. It took awhile, but I finally had to agree, even though I had thought of her only as my best friend.

To cut the story a bit short, I rode my motorcycle the 1,200 miles from North Carolina out to Texas to meet her. We had a great visit. It seemed like we had known each other for ages! When I was getting ready to leave, she looked up and me with those mesmerizing green eyes of hers, and asked me, “Well, do you see any reason why we can’t get married?” I almost fainted, then ran through every objection I could think of in about three seconds! I couldn’t think of a single valid reason why not, so I said, “No, I can’t think of a one!”

I rode back to North Carolina, gave most of what I owned to Goodwill, sold the trailer and some other stuff, put the rest in a U-Haul, and moved to Texas. BEST decision I ever made in my entire life! When we got married, I was 64 and Vicky was 49.

Vicky and I have been married over three years now, and we seem to fall more deeply in love every day. She truly is my “soul mate,” although I never believed in that before. : ))

JilltheTooth's avatar

Oh, @CaptainHarley , I can’t imagine a better life story for you! Thanks for sharing that.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@JilltheTooth

You’re very welcome, hon! : ))

Winters's avatar

My Uncle on my mom’s side of the family utterly detested the idea of marriage and when looking at my grandparent’s relationship, can’t really blame him.

He went on with life, becoming a successful architect (he helped design the Incheon International Airport) and tried to keep himself too busy to ever begin longing for a relationship. Fortunately I suppose, he failed.

A few years ago, my grandmother pushed him to start dating (my guess is that a flyswatter, or a shoe, or a newspaper was involved) and after going to a few karaoke bars and dating services, he met a young gal with whom he immediately hit it off with and within two years time, they married (He was 42, she was in her late twenties, I think, and I continue to give him crap for robbing the cradle, lol).

It’s been three years now and they’re still as bouncy (and yes, I do mean it as a sexual innuendo), happy, loving, free spirited, etc. as they were on their wedding day and honey moon.

So yeah, Don’t be too worried about it. You got still plenty of time to find someone.

BarnacleBill's avatar

My aunt is 86 years old, and has been with her partner, Frank, for about 22 years. She had one serious relationship in her 20’s and 30’s, but he wouldn’t commit because his mother didn’t approve of her. She was a career woman for most of her late 30’s and early 40’s, then got involved in another long term relationship that didn’t pan out, mostly because he traveled and enjoyed being single. She met Frank in the produce section of the grocery. He asked her something about tomatoes, and they got to talking about skiing and German lieder. He was recently widowed, with grown kids. They split their time between the city, his cabin in the country, and travelling. At 86, she still cross-country skis a bit. They are very cute together.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@CaptainHarley – Okay, yeah, wow.. you win this thread! I am wordlessly, deeply happy for you. :)

@Winters & @BarnacleBill – Very sweet.. it does give me hope. :)

answerjill's avatar

@MissAnthrope – I love this question. I am 34 and single, too. For the most part, I am pretty happy, but I would love to have hope that I might meet someone in the future.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@answerjill – I try to tell myself that I have no idea what’s going to happen.. I mean, read the stories above, and then I think about the times that I met people I fell in love with, and it was pretty random. When I’m feeling positively about it, that’s what I try to focus on, the whole not knowing what’s around the corner kind of thing.

answerjill's avatar

@MissAnthrope * raises a glass to you *

Coloma's avatar

I know whats around the corner from me.
Lots of woods. lol

I have to travel into the city to round up some dating action.
I prefer not to most of the time. haha

zenvelo's avatar

a very close friend of mine, Doug, met a woman who was dating another guy in our social circle, but they did not last long. Doug ran into her about 6 months later, and asked her out on a casual date, thinking it would be nice evening, nothing more. He didn’t think she was quite his type. But after the first date, he was smitten. She is a pretty woman, and on top of that, her personality and his are perfect for each other.

She was 38 when they met, he was 40. They’ve been together 8 years, married for 6. When I see them now, you can see in their eyes how much they are in love with each other.

SuperMouse's avatar

I am extremely pleased to be able to share my story!

About four years ago my marriage crumbled. I was 42 years old.

I decided to go back to school. On the first day of class a couple of semesters in a guy showed up and asked the professor if he could add the class. The professor explained there was no space but the guy said he’d wait outside just in case someone didn’t show up and a spot became available. The professor must have been impressed with his tenacity because he sent someone to the hallway to get the guy to let him add the class. I knew that was him. The next time we had class I felt like I was 14 again as I waited to see where he would sit just so I could get a spot next to him. We started eating lunch together, roaming the campus as a pair, talking for hours on end and fell in love. We are college sweethearts, both in our mid-40’s!. I cannot say that it has been easy several of my dear jelly friends can attest to that, but I love him in a way I didn’t know was possible and I know he feels the same.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@MissAnthrope

Thank you. After all I’ve been through, I think the key is in being best friends with the person you decide to marry BEFORE you marry them. In all fairness to my first wife, she and I never got to do that… we just set up housekeeping and started raising kids. I knew Vicky better than I know my own mother. And we’re so much ALIKE! For one thing, we both have this kinda wacky, off-color sense of humor. My ex would have died of mortification had I ever tried to joke with her like I do with Vicky!

SavoirFaire's avatar

I don’t know all of the stories, but it happened to both of my parents after their divorce and to my in-laws after their respective previous marriages.

In the case of my in-laws—I consider my wife’s stepfather to be my father-in-law—they had met when they were young and he had a major crush on her. Years later, they were driving down opposite sides of the highway, and he thought he saw her out of the corner of his eye. So he turned around and drove to where she used to live and found out that her mother still lived there. Not only that, he found her there (it really was her on the highway!) and discovered that she had just gotten divorced. He had as well, so they commiserated together and started hanging out a lot.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Seelix's avatar

Oh my, I can’t believe I totally forgot about this one. My dad is 64 years old, and has a twin brother who lives in California. We never spent that much time with my uncle, because he lives so far away. But all my life, I never knew him to have a girlfriend, much less a serious relationship. He got married when he was 48 years old to a wonderful lady (also never married) about 10 or so years younger than him. They’ve now got a 13-year-old daughter and are very happy together.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@SuperMouse

Good for YOU, hon! Ain’t it great? : D

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