General Question

SamIAm's avatar

I am such an idiot ... I left my salon without tipping my hair stylist. What do I do?

Asked by SamIAm (8703points) January 10th, 2011

I have a lot of stuff on my mind and it completely didn’t occur to me until just now (10pm!).

I paid with a Groupon (pre-purchased salon credit) and I guess because I didn’t take out my money/credit card, I just didn’t realize. I feel like a complete schmuck!

I am obviously going to go in first thing tomorrow and tip her but should I bring her coffee? Should I add/message her on Facebook tonight?

I’m going to lose sleep over this!

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33 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

All that you really need to do is go back and tip her in the morning. However, coffee is a very thoughtful gesture, and if that would make you feel better – I think you should do that. It would be a nice surprise for her, and I’m sure it would put your conscience at ease. If you’ve been seeing her long enough, I’m sure she already assumes it was an accident.

SamIAm's avatar

@theonlyneffie: I’ve only gone to her once before but I tipped her well last time and have stopped in to say hey a few times since. I really can’t believe I did this…

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@Samantha_Rae don’t stress yourself out. You wouldn’t be the first person to forget – and I’m sure you’re one of very few that will go back and remedy your mistake. Let alone with a nice gesture, such as coffee.

SavoirFaire's avatar

First, make sure that the stylist is actually working tomorrow. Assuming that she is, go back and tip her well like you did last time. Instead of coffee, consider bringing a gift card to the nearest coffee shop (e.g., Starbucks). That way, your stylist can get what she wants on her schedule.

This response courtesy of my wife, who is much smarter than me.

SamIAm's avatar

@SavoirFaire: A friend of mine just opened a coffee shop right across from her and I’d obviously rather give him the business… I wouldn’t dare buy a gift card (or coffee) from anywhere else. He doesn’t do gift cards, yet. :(

SavoirFaire's avatar

@Samantha_Rae Ah, I see. In that case, you have a few options. You could bring some coffee, you could ask if she’d like you to go fetch her some coffee, or you could tell her that her next order at the coffee shop across the way is on you. But if you do the last one, don’t forget to tell your friend that someone might be dropping your name for a free coffee!

SamIAm's avatar

@SavoirFaire: Ya! I think it’s more the gesture so I’m going to bring her coffee and apologize. Question for you (or your wife), her cuts are $65 normally but I paid $30 for this one. I usually tip $15 or $20 (I think). What should I give her tomorrow??

SavoirFaire's avatar

@Samantha_Rae Always tip based on the full price of the service rendered before discounts (i.e., the normal price of a cut).

On this, my wife and I speak with one voice!

SamIAm's avatar

@SavoirFaire: that’s what I thought. Just wanted to make sure/see if I should give her a little more for being stupid. Thanks to you and your wife for all your help!

6rant6's avatar

Uh… @Samantha_Rae… you might want to just leave the tip in an envelope with a brief note. Bring her coffee? I think not. This: “stopped in to say hey a few times since” makes me think you’re going to start looking creepy if you go too far out of your way.

Just sayin’.

SamIAm's avatar

@6rant6: that’s too impersonal. She’s young and new to the city… it’s a very casual and intimate salon! I let her do whatever she wants with my hair and she’s very appreciative to have someone who provides her with a ‘blank canvas.’ If I’m in the neighborhood, I stop in to say hi… and am always greeted with a welcoming hug from her. Anything less than an in person apology is unacceptable!

Rarebear's avatar

Just tip her more next time.

6rant6's avatar

@Samantha_Rae I’m unconvinced; I think it’s weird too overdo.

Certainly if someone left me a tip with an explanation I would feel that was already special. But I might feel that it was staged if they made sure I was working, and brought me coffee, yada yada.

I’ll bet every stalker who ever lived would tell you how reasonable the proffered attention was, how it must be welcome as evidenced by all the indication of returned affection. How they were the ones who initiated the hugs.

But hey, for all I know she lives to get rubbed on by you. You would know better.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Having worked jobs where I’ve received tips, I think that someone coming back with a cup of coffee is a thoughtful gesture, not creepy. When I answered I was under the impression that they had a long standing relationship, but considering that the girl is new in town, I feel that it is still a nice thing to do. She is reaching out to her, being friendly, I don’t think it’s excessive.
The relationship that most women have with their hairdresser is a very personal one.

6rant6's avatar

@TheOnlyNeffie Well, I confess, I’ve never had that special hairdresser relationship. So I am probably out of my depth here.

I was reacting mostly to the fact that she’d already dropped by several times after getting her hair cut once.

That as well as the, let’s say, unusual concern about the tip make me think this is more than a hairdresser thing – which is fine, too. I’m just not eager to jump on the bandwagon with the “Going to far too soon with the blessing of Fluther” bumper sticker.

SamIAm's avatar

@6rant6: Understood… but it’s not a creepy thing. I don’t go by daily (or weekly or with any regularity) to say hi… But I also won’t walk past and not say hi! That would look weird.

SavoirFaire's avatar

@Samantha_Rae Your regular tip plus the kind gesture should be enough. So says my wife.

She doesn’t think you’re being creepy, either.

6rant6's avatar

@Samantha_Rae You “Stopped in a few times.”

That’s not the same as saying hi as you walk past.

And hey, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with cultivating a friendship with someone – even if she’s a different age or whatever. Personally, that’s less creepy to me than trying to convince someone (me) that what you’re doing is perfectly explainable because she cut your hair twice now. Hell, invite her out for lunch, why don’t you?

Now that I think about it, why don’t you make ME your friend. I could use someone dropping in with coffee on any pretext!

BoBo1946's avatar

Nef said it. :-)

Seelix's avatar

I’m with @Rarebear – I would just tip more next time and apologize for your oversight.

john65pennington's avatar

It sounds like your hair stylist is a good friend of yours in addition to taking care of your hair. this is great. this is what being a good friend is all about.

Sure, take her a cup of coffee and tape a $5 or $10 dollar bill around the cup, before you give it to her.

According to my wife, a good hair stylist is hard to find. i think this is the case with you. give the coffee, give the tip and a short “i’m sorry” should do the trick.

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bunnygrl's avatar

@Samantha_Rae I think you are such a lovely person to be so concerned about this, and its not in the least bit creepy @6rant6, are you male or female? I can explain, it’s just I haven’t ever met a woman who would think any of the above suggestions are creepy, but even the nicest of men generally don’t “get” how women interact with each other. Women tend, it seems to me, to operate on a completely different plain of emotional involvement, than men do. Case in point. OK, a woman is out for the evening, pops into the ladies room to powder her nose etc and finds another woman crying. It would be the most natural thing in the world to go over and ask her if she’s ok? can you do anything? can you help? I’m a huggy person and have been known to hug complete strangers in cases like this (hugs which incidentally have been returned, sometimes people need a hug). I just asked hubby what a man would do if he went into the gents and found another guy crying (men do too do that, I’ve seen it) he said he’d do what every other man would do and “get the hell out of there.”

My point is, women share a great deal more with just a wave, a hello or a hug than men ever seem to. Between women it really is just what it is, a caring gesture. Nothing more and certainly nothing creepy. Trust your instinct honey, go back, take her a coffee and tell her what happened. I think it’ll mean a lot to her that you cared and I’m willing to bet she’s happy to have made a friend when she’s still new in town. That can make a new place feel less scary and more like home.
hugs xx
Edit: just edited my reply since I assumed from your replies (@6rant6) that you are a man but realised I didn’t know, so have tried to explain it better above lol. huggles xx

blueiiznh's avatar

I do it all the time because i dont carry much cash and they dont allow you to add a tip onto a CC or ATM transaction. The first time it happened, i rushed to an atm and then back to give the tip. Subsequent times that I forgot the cash or policy, I simply double tipped when I came back. This works for me as over the years.
Coffee or anything else is a great friend gesture, and I would do that when coming in anyway if you wish. It happens. At least you are of the type that wants to make it right.

SamIAm's avatar

@bunnygrl: thanks! Ya, I felt SO terribly last night… feeling much better now and I know she’ll understand. I’m going to run in at like 1 and bring her coffee and some money. Thanks for explaining that for all the silly men out there :)

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MissAnthrope's avatar

[Mod says] Hi, guys.. just a reminder that this question is posted in General, so any off-topic or unhelpful posts will be removed. Thank you!

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