My boyfriend doesn't seem to be interested in making an effort to make new friends outside of work . Is that weird?
Asked by
suzie271 (
284
)
January 12th, 2011
MY boyfriend moved to another city an hour away from me to advance his career.
He works hard during the week and on the weekends when I don’t visit (every other weekend) he spends most of his time on his own learning new skill for work and on himself.
He told me he will only go out to socialise when I come over as planned i.e in a few months.
I am worried about him as I don’t want his life to just be centered around me and work.
He has a couple friends at work but he hasn’t reached the point where he actually socialises with them outside of work yet.
It is almost a year now since he moved.
What do you think about this ?
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10 Answers
Does he work more than the standard 40hr week or 5 days a week? He’s probably tired a lot, especially if he’s excited while concentrating on learning new things. Some of it could be he really wants you to feel really secure while you’re apart, meaning no commplace disasters to uncover like emotional affairs with online buddies or “work spouses”. Long distance relationships are tough enough without inviting speculation, temptation and frustration.
He could just be an introverted individual in which case it’ll simply just take some time.
I agree with @Winters – I am an introvert and while I am friendly with people I work with, I don’t go out of my way to go to parties or get involved in whatever… if you invite me to something I will probably go and have a good time, but I am perfectly content just relaxing on my own.. and there is nothing wrong with that.
As long as he doesn’t become too dependent on you to meet all of his needs. That is a burden, impossible and unhealthy.
He NEEDS some friends, especially if your relationship doesn’t work out.
Introvert is fine, but completely friendless is not good for ones mental and emotional health.
If you are his EVERYTHING, danger, danger….
I think if he’s happy, what does it matter to you?
yeah he is introvert.. and i am a bit too but i think introverts always want at least one friend outside of work outside their parter..
i just concerned for him..
thanks for your replies
You can’t force someone to make friends and be more social. They need to see that it is a problem for them and then you support them. If, however, it’s not a problem for them, leave him be. After all, if he had many friends and went out all the time, you might be saying ‘I worry he’ll find someone else’ or something. So count your blessings.
If he’s an introvert it would be in his nature not to socialise. For me it would be weird because I’m an extrovert but for an introvert it’s perfectly normal.
If he were out running around every night you would probably be worrying about that! If he is content that is all that matters.
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